You've asked me to look at your butt hole.
What? No, I didn't. Yes, you have.
I'm Shannara. I'm Sid. It's my wife. It's my husband. Come here, my love. What's up baby?
They're the Harrap. Yay online dating!
Yeah, I did. I don't think he did. It took me a little longer, yeah. Who goes first? Ladies first.
What's the worst thing you've ever said about me to your friends? Huh, today?
Not today. Oh, okay. I think I would probably say I told people that Lou has runaway bride syndrome. Oh, yeah, that's true.
What's the worst thing you've ever said about me? That you're a selfish asshole.
You said that? Yeah, 'cause you are, honey. I don't really complain to my friends about you a lot, though.
Yeah, I just kind of internalize everything, you know? Like you take everything and you shove it down, and take more stuff
and shove it down the top of that. You try to make me hurt on the inside.
No, I don't. Sometimes. He lying.
Name your top three celebrity hall passes. I don't know what that means. What does that mean?
Sorry he's, he's pretty sheltered. He was home-schooled until high school.
Name your top three celebrity hall passes. Boom! Okay.
You couldn't wait for this. I know, Frank Sinatra, if he was alive, but like, but like young alive, not old.
We don't do that, that probably won't work. Who was into piano? Harvey Keitel. Yeah, in the day. He was very sexy. Full frontal. Yes. Yes.
It's weird,
'cause like I only have sex mostly with women, but like for some reason, like, Chris Brown comes into my mind.
Chris Brown?
I know. What the f***?
Boom, boom. What is that? Boom, my hall pass, boom. Ooh. Boom.
I'm running through the school. If our sex life were a porn,
what genre would it be? Definitely big butts.
If our sex life were a porn what genre would it be? Vanilla.
Really?
I'm not really into porn that much, but I always was fascinated by the word "bukkake" because of where it is.
It's true she says that I don't know where sometimes.
Making breakfast, bukkake, like, it's ridiculous.
Who's smarter, me, or you?
You are, honey. Thank you. You're the most intelligent man I know.
Okay, next question.
What have you always wanted to try in bed, but haven't told me? I literally ask you this all the time.
He will not tell me, like, his fantasies. What, is there something that you haven't told me? Not that I can think of, no.
How about you? I've told you about anal.
No, but, like, I'm not gonna delve into like where my fantasy mind goes further until you do because you're so vanilla about it.
When's the last time you masturbated and who were you thinking of? This morning.
I was thinking of you because you were right next to me. I never masturbate.
Masturbate, who f***ing does that? With you in front of me why would I masturbate? Oh, I don't know.
Exactly, I don't masturbate bro. Oh, have you ever thought about cheating on me? Uh.
Yeah. Serious? But I wouldn't actually do it.
Define thinking about cheating on you. Looking, thinking, smelling, touching, DMing. All of those?
No,
not never. You lying. Nuh uh. Have you ever thought about cheating on me?
Sure.
Okay. Oh, I didn't expect it quite that fast. Oh, okay
Yeah, I've thought about it. You've done it. Since we've been married I haven't.
Oh, but you thought about it. I've thought about it, I just haven't done it.
Hmm
Yeah, I've definitely thought about it.
Really? Oh, yeah, let's drink up now, hon.
You thought about cheating on me? Why not? Who wants sex more?
Uh, I think you do, yeah.
Really? Yeah, but it's good. I like being come onto. You have to come onto me though sometimes too.
I know. Like this guy wants me to put in all the effort. It's exhausting.
This is f***ed up. Why do I get the f***ed up ones?
Which one of my - and I need an answer, I don't want you to drink this.
Which one of my friends are you most attracted to?
Which one of my friends are you most attracted - I am glad she didn't ask me that sh*t.
Honestly none, honey.
Come on. I swear. Bullsh*t. None of your friends are attractive.
I mean, honestly, I mean she's my friend but she's also my sister and I hope it'd be her because we look alike, but, I mean -
She hopes it would be her sister. Yeah those are your words, not mine.
Which of my friends are you most attracted to? Phil. Phil? Well, Michael Welty too; he's pretty cute, and Limba.
Limba?
Okay
Aw, if I was in a coma,
how long would you wait for me? So long as your insurance covers it. Like, until, until you wake up.
So, so now you're making it, like, a financial issue?
If I was in a coma, how long would you wait for me? Maybe about two weeks. Two weeks, can I get two months? Honey, damn.
But, and, remember if I'm ever a paraplegic,
like I don't want to - Well that, that's in the same category. Yeah.
Yeah, I can make a bed next to - Like you don't have to take care of me, is what I mean. Oh, oh not like kill you off.
No, God, no. How did this go from this to him killing me?
Aw, do you think we'll always be together? Yeah. Yeah. One hundred percent.
Do you think we'll always be together?
Maybe, I would, I would want to
Me?
I think I never thought I'd found the one. I'd never stopped looking. I was looking.
Yeah, I still look,
but I always find myself coming back home 'cause Renee's pretty good to me. Mm hmm.
Do you think we'll always be together?
Duh. I feel like we should take a shot in celebration of that. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah.
To us? To us.
Boom. Cheers to guessing while we're gassing.
That's a big-ass shot. Cheers, honey. Can I take a half a shot?
No, take a full shot.
Thank you.
I love you. I love you too.