hey everybody and welcome back to a
brand new series here on the idubbbz TV
channel network it's called tutorial
we're gonna do a condom tutorial today
there's two types of condoms oranges and
blacks now the orange ones are my
favorite they are sort of working man's
condom despite them being orange I would
call them the blue-collar condom now I
will I will give you a little background
about the blue-collar condoms that
they're called directs and that's
actually an anagram for dick under
rubber excited xenophobe so uh this is
well you know for the typical American
now the other one is called skin it's
it's skin and it has very elegant
packaging kind of holographic sort of
the holographic Pokemon card that you
might get out of Pokemon card pack super
rare super usable there are a lot of
people out there who will tell you do
not open a condom with your teeth well
I'm here to tell you that that's a load
of horseshit you can open it with your
teeth but I would say that if you do
open it with your teeth you need to be
very careful okay because I'm not
worried about you puncturing it that's
what other people will say I'm worried
about you looking like a sex-crazed
animal either that or a child who can't
open the package of gummy bears he's
trying to get into either way you look
bad once you've separated the condom
from the packaging what you're gonna
want to do is just set it down on the on
the table in front of you or whatever's
nearby and you want to take take some a
little bit sharp like a like a hatchet
and you just want to puncture the top a
little bit if you if you puncture the
top that will allow your your penis to
breathe and you want your penis to
breathe because if your penis can't
breathe then what's gonna happen is
gonna suffocate which put the condom on
its gonna suffocate your penis and it's
gonna drop right off your body so do
whatever you can there's many different
techniques I like to use I like to use I
like use throwing knives it's it it
helps you know and you can
to do this ideally you do this one once
once it's on so you start to roll it on
there just like that and see see the top
you can see how it's a little bit
inflated what you want to do is you just
want to pin prick that okay so once you
pin pricked it now you can breathe and
you roll the rest of it on just like
that
okay a lot of you guys are probably
confused at this point we've gone
through a lot of steps it's your first
time you really don't understand it for
those of you who get a little stuck at
this part the reason that we're chopping
the top off is because it's sort of like
how a beer enthusiast will you know poke
a hole in the top of their beer can so
that so that the air can pass through it
and it could breathe easy same thing
with the penis you don't chop the head
of the penis off then you your your
penis is gonna suffocate so you just
kind of wanna at this point you're
almost ready to go I say almost because
the next step is you got to get some
paracord if you use some paracord some
twine maybe some fishing line something
very strong that has a lot of tensile
strength what you're gonna want to do is
you're gonna want to wrap it around and
tie it very tightly around the condom
around your shaft the reason you want to
do this is because if you don't do it
guess what's gonna happen the condom is
gonna fall right off so you wanna you
want to do it as tight as possible just
like that and once once that's taken
care of it I mean you would you can even
tie it in several different areas now
that it's all tied off you're ready to
get down to business you're ready to do
what you came here to do and that's
Frick all right so uh you know start
frickin Frick to your heart's content
baby now if at any point in time you
feel like the condoms comin loose or may
have ripped don't worry just keep going
the best thing to do is close your eyes
remember that it's it's a natural
sensation that it feels like it's coming
off but it definitely isn't coming off
okay
this thing is snug on there you just
keep pushing forward okay literally now
once you're done
all you got to do is take the dang cord
off and then you just toss it to the
side
constant inside wherever you're at if
you're if you're you know in a parking
lot if you're in you know someone's
front lawn wherever you're at just throw
it on the ground it doesn't matter let
me tell you why it doesn't matter
because it's a common myth that that
condoms are litter all condoms are
biodegradable no one even realizes this
every single condom that they sell in
the store is biodegradable it's mandated
by the US government a lot of people out
there throw big ol hissy fits about the
condom that's not biodegrading fast
enough in their kids school yard well
newsflash okay it takes a little while
if you want the condom to biodegrade
faster here's what you do you can
sprinkle some candy around it or some
bread crumbs in it so that uh you know
the kids come by and stomp around it or
the seagulls come and swoop down because
you know the more activity around a
condom the better the faster it's gonna
biodegrade think about all the kids
stomping around it okay that thing's
gonna disappear in no time flat after
that step you are all done you have done
your due diligence you can rest easy at
night knowing that no one is pregnant
you can rest easy knowing that you're
helping the environment you're eco
friendly you're sustainable and there's
no one who's who's gonna get a sexually
transmitted disease
so that has been this episode of our
tutorial a lot of people out there
forget that you could spread sexually
transmitted diseases with weapons so
obviously use a condom on your weapon if
you're going to stab anyone if you want
to rob anyone you got to be safe about
it you know what I mean heaven heaven
forbid you go to stab that old grandma
and you give our herpes we wouldn't want
to see that happen so make sure you put
a condom on and make sure you bring it
all the way to the tip because if you
don't bring it all the way to the tip
and you don't vent it then guess what's
gonna happen that's right your knifes
gonna fall out of your hand
alright everybody that is going to do it
for this episode of tutorial idubbbz
tutorial bad tutorial good tutorial I
don't know good good and bad and ugly
tutorial either way thank you so much
for watching remember that like button
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help out the channel I can't really do
anything unless you guys do that stuff
I'll get depressed I won't make any more
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please do all the above and make sure
you share it I'm sure someone's gonna
find it funny that you're that you're in
and around maybe your mom share with
your mom share with your daddy
maybe he'll be like ooh this is a neat
guy what if I told you that I could sell
you a ring and when you wear this ring
0.14 cc's of you getting a [ __ ] from
sexy stranger at any point the time
thing
one set that percentage each day you
would say yeah I'll wear that a lot of
people forget that back in the day we
didn't have any balloons we didn't have
any helium so you're really only left
with condoms and the air in your lungs
so all you got to do at this point is
tie your paracord around it and give it
to little Bobby
there you go Bobby it looks like an
alien head right you can pop it ooh
Bop It ooh this is fun it's a punch
balloon also if you're at a lively party
you can liven it up even more with old
game attach that condom where to go
where to go oh uh I'm gonna be on be
alone forever because I didn't catch the
condom