Peter Moriarty: Ever wondered what are the hidden drivers
behind the most successful business leaders what drives
people to want to lead to want to grow, to what to be
successful in helping others succeed and helping lead
organizations? Well, in this video, it's a bit of an edgy
topic, but I'm going to be sharing what I think are some of
the positive traits of narcissism psychopaths, that can
actually help them in business.
This video is not about glorifying any toxic behavior.
This video is not about glorifying anyone's hurtful
behavior. It's a great click Beatty title. But what I'm
trying to do is take a clinical psychological lens at what are
the actual you know, the fundamental developmental
behaviors of psychopaths of narcissists, and to see how they
may end up in leadership positions. Many people say that
narcissists and psychopaths end up in positions of leadership.
And I think this is an important discussion to have. And so you
know, what I'm interested in as well, you know, how might how
might people show up with these traits in business? How might
people show up in these with these traits as managers in
leadership positions? And you know, how can we be better
prepared to understand how people tick and how people work
because for us to have any kind of harmonious way of working
with someone, we're probably gonna have to try and understand
and empathize with how they work and how they tick, and then find
a way to work with them. So if you're ready to proceed based on
there, we're going to be you know, trying to look for gold in
what is maybe being played out in people with different
personality traits and bringing that into the workplace. So what
are some of the traits of someone who psychopath or a
narcissist, they're what's called a Cluster B, personality
disorder. And that is, typically in some way, as a child, they
were disempowered, or they felt disempowered, or they
experienced being disempowered. And so what tends to happen is
they will create like, it's called a schism, which is they
have their false self there their aggrandized self, or their
aggrandized way of viewing themselves in the world. And
then they have usually a shame based low self esteem, that that
is masking where you see traits like having an unending belief
in oneself and ending favorable view of oneself or view that one
is superior, lack of empathy for others, you know, using others
and manipulating others to their own gain. These are, these are
traits of someone who has the kind of joy feeling inside
themselves that like, I'm not worthy, but also like a false
pretend feeling that they've created of, I'm more worthy than
others, or I'm superior to others. And obviously, you'd
probably know of toxic bosses or toxic managers who literally
felt like that, who would use their authority to wield power
over others. And that's something that happens a lot in
hierarchical structures, like the corporate workplace, right?
You know, what can also happen in workplaces is because there's
not necessarily much, you know, emotional bandwidth in a
workplace, or there's not necessarily much, let's say,
vulnerability, you know, true vulnerability in a workplace,
that emotionally disconnected way of operating can effectively
be reduced down to like, well, you know, what do people have,
or they have, you know, external and false self that is projected
onto others. And, and that's what people are left to engage
with. And so if you, for example, have someone who finds
himself in a leadership or a management position, and they
have some of these traits of either a narcissist or a
psychopath, because of the developmental trauma that
they've been through on their, on their, you know, on their
journey in their life, then you can potentially have them show
up in a way where they are blaming, where they are
punishing, where they are looking down on others, where
they are judging, and then when they feel like they may be
attacked, they are defending, they are justifying, they are
explaining, they are arguing Jade is the Jade is the justify,
argue, defend and explain real common one. So if you've seen
those kind of things play out in the workplace. I'm not saying
that your boss is a narcissist, what I am saying is, it's very
possible that these kind of traits are coming into the way
that that person is operating. So they can be some of the
downsides. I think they've been covered really well. And there's
so much content out there on like, you know, what are the
downsides and how to handle someone like that. There's lots
of really great, really great resources. I'm interested in
well, you know, what may be the positive traits and you know, if
I consider myself as a leader, you know, how may I use some of
those traits in a positive way? Now, I'm not saying I'm a
narcissist or a psychopath, but everyone has shadows and
everyone has a part of them that that exudes the narcissist and
exurbs exudes the psychopath even if it's on an archetypal
level, or even if it's, you know, sometimes you dip into
your shadows from time to time, and you have these kinds of
behaviors come
out, you know, what I'm curious about as well, you know, where's
the gold? Like, where are the positives that may actually come
out of these behaviors were the positives that may come out of
these these backgrounds? So one interesting trait that I've
found is in many communities of entrepreneurs that I've been a
part of many entrepreneurs in those communities have had And
there's kind of like chip on their shoulder. And that chip on
their shoulder has been either a fractured relationship with mum,
or a fractured relationship with dad. And I could almost put it
down to a tee. Every entrepreneur that I've met who
is running a business either has a fractured relationship with
one of their parents, or, and this is the only exception that
I found, or they were bullied in school. And so that that chip on
the shoulder entrepreneur, and maybe that's just the kind of
people that I'm attracting, there may be others out there
that it doesn't resonate with. That's okay. The kind of
entrepreneur that that that that tends to attract is an
entrepreneur, who may have some of these traits, because they
may have the trait of wanting to feel significant, because they
felt disempowered as they were growing up. And you can see
where you know, all of these things kind of linked together
on a psychological basis. They felt disempowered, it's a child,
and they develop that chip on their shoulder and that chip on
their shoulder became, I want to make a mark in the world, or I
want to have significance, or I want to have fu money, or I want
your I don't want anyone to tell me what to do. Or I don't want
anyone to tell me that they're stupid rules. And so that's how
they go out and operate in the world. If you can cross that
bridge with me, then let's look at okay, well, there might be
some of the gold in some of these traits of narcissism,
psychopaths? Well, you know, if these people are bring it to the
workplace, and you are an entrepreneur, or you are a
leader, where you know, where might some of these traits
actually be useful. So the first one I think of is, is lack of
empathy. And, you know, obviously, there's levels to all
of this, and there's, and there's different scales of what
this might look like. But where I've noticed that I've needed to
switching off some empathy, as I've been a leader is where
someone on my team has had to has needed to have emotional
space held. And what I've had to do in that situation is because
I'm not in a, you know, romantic, or family or strong
friendship relationship with that person, there is obviously
a boundary in the workplace, there is a level and a limit to
which I choose to withhold my empathy for that person, there
is a level of empathy. And let's, let's call it perhaps a
professional level of empathy. But then, in my responsibility
of being a business leader, and being responsible for a business
and a team in an organization, and my number one job, if I'm
the CEO is the survival of the organization, there is a point
where I need to pause the empathy and say, Okay, well, I
can be empathetic to your situation. And, and also know
and understand that I cannot allow myself to become
personally enmeshed in the, in the personal challenges that
you're having. And let's say, for example, it's a problem
outside of work, or it's a problem with another co worker,
or someone else that someone has, there is a point where I
need to be able to pause, and actually, you know, in some way,
like disconnect from my emotions in a situation. So that may be
dealing with a team member, or it may be actually dealing with
how others perceive me personally, in a public domain.
Now, when you're a business owner, and you grow a
significant business, and you know, if you're like me, someone
who is in the public sphere, either you're making videos, or
you're making social content, or you're, you know, I don't know,
writing things on LinkedIn, where you're probably going to,
you know, come across people who don't agree with you. And so,
you know, let's say, for example, you put out a piece of
content, or you put out something that you believe in,
or you are sharing your ideas, and you have people criticizing
you in public or potentially criticizing you in private, and
you've got the potential there to, to, you know, to go into
boohoo mode about that, like, you know, and potentially even
go into your shame I'm not I'm not worthy, and plenty of
entrepreneurs have challenges with impostor syndrome. And,
and, you know, it is a real challenge to put oneself out
there knowing that you may attract criticism, knowing that
you may attract people who, even though they have different ideas
from you, and are able to express them in a professional
way. And so for me, personally, what that can look like is I'll
put out a video on YouTube, and someone will respond to my video
and say, You are an idiot, or you wasted my time for the last
five minutes, right. And so, you know,
if we think about in the, in the tribal days, when sitting in
community with fellow humans, there wouldn't usually be a time
where we would openly criticize each other, unless it was in
some way for the good of the tribe or for the good of the
community. Because, you know, if you're criticizing someone, it's
really more kind of like, you know, bringing them bring the
herd a little bit into line, right. But with the anonymity of
the internet, it's very easy to openly criticize someone without
any repercussions from the rest of the tribe. Nowadays, social
networks have things like you know, you can vote up or down
comments and those kinds of things. And so mean and hurtful
comments, you know, tend to start disappearing, but they
still appear, I still see them. And so how do I react using my
narcissistic psychopath tools? Well, the the tool of being able
to actually disconnect my emotions, the lack of empathy
for myself The lack of empathy for that person and their
position for me to be able to say, Okay, I've read that
comment. I'm going to shut down my emotions I'm going to
emotionally somatically disconnect from my emotions and
actually move on and continue about my day and not worry about
that comment is something that is, you know, deployed as an
entrepreneur.