I love asking that question...
If you could know what day you were going to die
would you want to know?
And what would you do differently if you knew?
I think that I'm fascinated with death
mainly because it's been a secret.
I don't know what happens after we die.
It is that edge of the unknown.
In my growing up there was no conversation of death.
He's with the angels, passed on,
kicked the bucket, bought the farm...
The D Word never entered the house.
Just say the word death.
Death. Dying.
Dead.
We've been so separated from death.
And I think that affects everything in the world.
That's a real disconnect from our humanity.
I think that there's a rampant addiction to comfort.
And that actually, if we're going to come alive
and if we're going to live the best lives possible
we need to get a little uncomfortable now and then.
And death is uncomfortable.
I think having conversations with the people you love, about death
is one of the most important conversations you can ever have.
And not waiting for a diagnosis.
To actually have the conversations now
about how do you feel about that?
And just having these normal conversations
about something we don't usually talk about
brings it more into our life, and not in a morbid way.
It is in an enlivening way.
My father died recently.
I sat with him dying, and I said
'Listen, I actually really want you to see parts of me
that you haven't known
so that you can meet me
before you go.
That was a remarkable experience.
I felt completely clean and clear with him.
When he left, I was not left holding anything.
I think it's really important that we tell people how we feel
now.
Even if it's something scary
or something hard.
Really tell the people that we love, that we love them.
And also tell them what we see in them.
Someone told me the other day that I give really great hugs.
I would prefer to hear that now
than find out that it was said at my funeral.
Because that's enriched my life
and it's made me feel closer to that person.
I trained to be a death walker.
I love the word, it sounds like a heavy metal band or something.
A death walker is someone who values
the relationship with death
and who values life.
Part of being alive is being aware of your death.
And I think that if I'm not conscious that I'm going to die
then I'm not fully alive.
In the morning I look in the mirror
and I first tell myself that I love myself.
And I do that until I believe it.
And once I believe it, then say OK, and are you ready to die?
Is this a good day to die?
Let's make it a good day to die.
That's not a bad thing. Let's make this a really juicy
luscious
full
vibrant day.
I would hate to end my life
on a day where I sat on the internet.
Although I do that a bit more than I care to admit.
It's about living fully and vibrantly,
with an awareness
in every moment if I can do it.
I can't say that I'm ace at that.
With an awareness that this is...
this is going some day.
This is all going to go.
Death has taught me about impermanence
and really valuing what I have now in this moment.
Everything passes, everything moves.
Nothing stays solid, nothing stays.
As much as I'd like to think things do stay where I put them
they get moved.
What do you leave behind?
And how do you want to be remembered?
I don't need monuments and I don't need glorification.
But I would like to know that
I contributed to the love of the planet.
I would like to know that I used my life well.
I'd like to know that I did no harm.
I just had this image...
I'd like to leave behind a trail of light
like in the wake of a boat
that's just like 'aaah'.
Yeah, I'd like to leave the world a better place than I came into it.
I want to be grace at the end
however it happens, yeah.
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