Well, I've already reviewed a ton of direct-to-DVD sequels. Why not review this one?
"Inspector Gadget 2". Yeah, kind of an Inspector-Gadget-filled month, isn't it?
This is a follow-up to the first film starring Matthew Broderick, and though it's not nearly as bad
-- hell, you just subtract Matthew Broderick from it, it's immediately better -- it's still pretty bad.
This time, Inspector Gadget is played by French Stewart of "Third Rock from the Sun" fame.
At first, you think it's going to be *exactly* like the first one with its awkward style and weird, in-your-face effects that...
*really*, really suck even more this time.
But, as it goes on, it calms down... a bit as it tries to squeeze a story in.
Inspector Gadget is having a bunch of glitches, and his niece, Penny,
now in high school, is starting to notice and tells him to go get it fixed.
His inventory, however, has an even better plan: make a brand new Gadget.
Enter G2, an updated version of Gadget, who seems to be a better officer in every way,
not only having no glitches, but no human parts at all! That's right. She's 100% Machine.
And as soon as Inspector Gadget hears that, he falls immediately in love...
yeah... that's kinda weird/creepy.
She does the typical robot stuff: doesn't understand human emotion,
(robotic voice) talks like this all the time, (normal voice) that whole jazz.
But give her credit; it's a lot more interesting than Dr. Claw escaping!
Only this time, it's not played by Rupert Everett, and this time you don't see his face.
Well... okay, you sorta... you see his mouth and his noise, sometimes you see his eyes
-- actually, you kinda do see his face, but they at least make an attempt to hide it.
This time, it's played by some... old guy with a really weird voice that sounds nothing like the original Claw,
but he has the claw from the first movie, but you don't see his face like the cartoon. It's... really kinda confusing.
But at least we see Penny snooping around with her dog, Brain, and she has the little watch.
Ehh... no computer book, but... she has the watch! And they give her a kinda bigger part.
Then it's weird because she'll tell Brain to look after Gadget, but, y'know, he's a dog, like a real dog,
so he can't do anything like what he does in the cartoon, and wh-- What is the movie trying to be?
The sad, desperate souls that actually like the first film aren't gonna connect that much with it.
Like I said, Gadget's different, Penny's different, Dr. Claw is *really* different,
and the fans of the cartoon are gonna like a few things changed, but it's still clearly not trying hard enough to be the cartoon.
It's almost like the filmmakers got all these really angry notes, and they said, "Oh, okay. We're not supposed to see Claw's face,
Penny's supposed to snoop around, Brain's supposed to help. Okay. We'll do that."
But then, for some reason, they still never looked at the cartoon. They didn't see *how* you're supposed to do it.
And, don't get me wrong, the cartoon's weird. I think it's kinda debatable whether not it's actually even good.
But it was kind of entertaining, and interesting, and had kind of it's own unique formula, and it's all kind of awkward charm.
*This* doesn't.
While French Stewart is definitely a better Gadget than Matthew Broderick,
he still doesn't seem like he's being told the right things to do.
That is to say, comedically, his line delivery just seems off.
It doesn't sound like he's trying to impersonate Don Adams or do his own thing. It's just kind of... weird.
{... all my years of crime fighting, Gadgetmobile... is that it's always the most quiet... RIGHT before the criminals strike!}
On top of that, a lot of the comedy is off. Every once in a while, you get a little bit of a giggle,
like I like how the bad guys are sneaking in as this band, and none of the instruments they're playing matches
the music that's being played behind 'em on an obvious recording.
In fact, it's sitar music and there's not even a sitar in there.
That's funny. Once in a while, you'll get a little moment like that.
The effects are really awful.
At the very least, in the first film, they tried to mix some practical effects with the CG. Here, it's all CG.
And it's "We don't give a crap" CG.
Look at this scene where this rope is supposed to wrap around Gadget... What the hell am I even looking at?
It looks like one of those old Marvel hologram cards. It doesn't even look solid.
The acting, pretty much from everybody, either ranges from bad to just... off.
I don't know what direction they were given, but it was always kind of the wrong direction.
Everyone says their lines just a little strangely, and that's already made odd by the fact that they already have strange voices.
The only time the acting does work a little bit is when French Stewart has to have an emotional moment.
I know that sounds strange, and there aren't that many of 'em, but when he genuinely seems confused,
or sad, or upset, it's done in such a brainless way that he still kinda seems sympathetic.
I can't explain it. There's something weirdly genuine about it.
Aside from that, I don't know what this film is going for.
It'll have the little MAD logo like from the cartoon, but even that looks a little different.
Why? You have the rights to Inspector Gadget. Just go all-out there.
So, okay. Is it as bad as the first one? No.
There's very few things that are as bad as the first one. The first one was painful.
The first one, every single time a joke was made, or somebody gave a weird look, it hurt. The first film hurt.
This film doesn't hurt, it's just... dumb. It's a dumb movie. It'll probably be forgotten the minute you watch it.
The first film leaves scars -- scars that will never heal. This is just a lame flick.
So, if for some reason, your kid wants to see it, you can go ahead and show it. There's nothing that's gonna screw 'em up.
But for anyone else, if you have any interest in seeing this movie,
Go Go Gadget Don't.