Ugh school's coming back. If only there was some way to get out of it. I mean it's not
like you can just drop out, right? Wait- can I do that? DAD? So I just found
out, it's probably not the best idea. Something about being a failure,
already being enough of a disappointment as it- you know what, honestly I wasn't really
listening that much, uh so whatever, but the good news is, there's
another way. One that doesn't involve minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life.
Alright hear me out for a second. Faking sick. What? Who is this guy? Yeah. I'm a genius.
Faking sick to me is an art, and I've put in so much time and effort that
it's an art that I've mastered. And today, I'm passing on all of my wisdom to you guys.
Also my mom's probably gonna watch this video and recognize these moves so um... I got you!
The goal in faking sick is to trick your parents into beliving you. If your are vouching for
you, even your teacher can't make you come in.
But parents are smart! I mean, when they were your age, they were probably doing the exact
same thing. You gotta make your sickness seem legit, and
to do so, it's gonna take some work. The first thing you wanna do, even before faking sick,
is to make school seem like it's your priority. "Aw man, we have this super cool assignment
tomorrow and I'm so excited to hand it in." "Tomorrow's pizza day, alright? I'm not missing
that." Setting this up is super critical because when you suddenly get sick,
you're gonna be more disappointed that you can't go to school than your parents are,
and that makes you being sick, all the more believable.
"Aw man I really want to hand this 10-page essay that's- it's so finished, but I *coughs*
I can't, so.. I'm sorry."
Next thing you're gonna wanna do is to pick a sickness and to stick to it. If you're trying
to convince your parents that you're sick, you're gonna need some proof and that involves
research. What temperature do you need to be to have a fever?
What are all the symptoms of having a cold? What does puking sound like? It's the homework
that you wished you'd been assigned. No? Just me? Oh. Puking is definitely the easiest
to fake cause it just involves going to the washroom and doing this sound for a while.
*puking sounds* *coughing sounds* The cough's I'm just throwing in for good
measure. Because I'm an actor, dammit. But hey, you can't puke everytime so try giving
yourself a fever. All you gotta do is soak a towel in some hot
water and leave it on your forehead so when your parents feel your forehead they'll be
like, "aw, you're burning up, you can't go to school!"
What's risky here is you only have so much time between drying your forehead and getting
your parents to feel your forehead, so you gotta act fast.
Okay so I got my towel here, and I'm just gonna apply it. Let it sit there for a while,
so you get all warmed up. *coughs* Hey Juan can you *coughs* can you
come take my temperature I think I'm *cough* sick.
Okay Andrew? Yeah.
I'm not your father. You're an adult. Yeah.
And you don't even have anything to be sick for because you're a sad, pathetic,
unemployed, loser. Oh yeah.
And that's how you fake sick! Remember to not overuse this. If you do it too much it's
gonna become way too obvious that you're faking, and then it'll just never work again. So don't
be sick every other day. Wait until there's an assignment due tomorrow that you haven't
even started. Or until something super embarassing just
happened at school and you, you can't show your face there. Or you know, Friday.
Anyways that's all for the video, I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, be sure to give it
a thumbs up. On my last video I asked for 1,500 likes,
and it got over 2,000 in 3 days, which is just crazy. Thank you for that. So I'm just
gonna shoot for the stars today and say, let's get 2,500 thumbs up on today's video.
Make sure you subscribe to me, I make new videos every Friday, and like today,
I'm gonna try to throw in an extra one every here and there, and with all that being said,
I'll see you guys next week?!