How does this thing of know people pleasing fit with that part in the text
where Jesus says, If somebody asks you to do something outrageous, do it.
And then a hundred pages later he qualifies it.
He says, as long as it doesn't bring harm to you or to anyone else.
That's very helpful to add that last part on there.
And also...
But how does that fit with people pleasing?
If I’m supposed to do something that is outrageous, and I'm supposed
to do it anyway, that seems like pleasing this outrageous person,
an outrageous request out there.
That seems like people pleasing.
And I go back to that example
when I was asked to speak at that conference out there in the Bay
Area of California, and they said, we're going to do this thing
where two ministers out there and we're going to time your responses.
We're just going to make a request to have a stopwatch on you
so you can speak for a minute or two.
That might qualify as an outrageous request.
Not that it necessarily would bring harm to anybody else,
but that's one that's a good example.
And in a loving way, I went in and tuned in with Jesus and,
and went along with the outrageous request, which eventually turned
into a lot of laughter, all of us laughing together at time.
And that was the miracle.
So what we're talking about is
if you have all of these
acting for approval, we'll say if you have projected
a world of specialness and now you're going to please mom, please dad, please
your siblings, please your teachers, please your Course in Miracles teachers.
I mean, please, please, please, please, please.
All over the place.
Why aren't you connecting with the Holy Spirit
and coming from a place of love and letting that be your motivations?
Thinking miraculous thoughts
because Jesus tells us what you do comes from what you think.
So you want to be having miraculous thoughts
because they're going to inspire your actions.
Their your behaviors are going to flow from those thoughts.
It's not the other way around.
You know, your behaviors don't change your mind.
You change your mind,
and then your behaviors can seem to shift and change when you've made that attitude
adjustment in your mind. Because the mind is causative.
You have to always remember behaviors are not causative,
they’re affects. Mind and and thoughts are causative.
That's so important. This is like giving a full context
for what the true meaning of this people pleasing is because
as long as you try to understand it from a superficial level
at just the level of persons and behaviors, then it's not understandable.
But once you get into say what you mean, mean
what you say, have integrity.
How can you have integrity if you don't have an integrated mind?
If everything is occurring in your mind and all of the levels of your mind
aren't integrated into a miracle, into a divine flow,
then you have no chance of being... having integrity because your actions will
sometimes seem to be different from what you're thinking or feeling.
Remember some of the songs we grew up with?
“Smile though your heart is breaking. Smile even though you're aching.”
Oh, come on! Now that is people pleasing.
That song is is draped with people pleasing, you know...
“Just put on a happy face.”
Even though your subconscious feels dark and grim.
“Just put on a happy face.”
When you're feeling dark and you feeling suicidal.
Hmmm.. just be nice.
Just be nice?!
Wait a minute! I'm feeling suicidal!
How do I act nice when I'm feeling suicidal?
“Smile, though your heart is breaking.”
You know it's the contradictions go on and on
in this world where we've been so taught that we have to wear
a mask, otherwise we're going to be rejected.
Otherwise we're going to be abandoned. If we don't keep that happy mask
and that peaceful mask on, then people will leave,
you know, we're pretty sure people will leave our life.
We're going to be lonely.
We're gonna be all alone if we start letting up the unconscious.
And Jesus is saying, no, it's safe. I'm with you.
You have to give yourself permission to get in touch with this unconscious.
You're actually going to have to allow some of those
uncomfortable feelings to come up into awareness.
And Jesus even addresses that. And he says
that in the early stages of your mind training the Holy Spirit
must use contrast and at times must allow
a certain level of discomfort to come into the mind.
Why would the Holy Spirit want
subconscious uncomfort coming into the mind? So that you have an impetus
and you see a need for change of your mind.
So you can say, I do not like how I feel.
This sounds like rules for decision.
I do not like how I feel.
I must have decided wrongly.
You see, this is how the Holy Spirit works.
Bring it up, let it move up.
But don't stay there.
Don't linger with the suffering. Don't linger with the discomfort.
Change your mind. Come back to your purpose. Come back to your reason, “Setting the goal.”
Come back to your original decision from “Rules for Decision”. You know...
Decide the kind of day that you want, and say to yourself,
If I make no decisions by myself,
this is the day that will be given to me.
Those are the first two rules for decision
that Jesus is giving us, and He's giving us the most practical way.
Don't censor those feelings, but also when they come into awareness,
use it as as a need to call on the miracle
and choose again.