It's easy for you to say "put yourself out there and just start speaking" because
you're a native speaker. I practice at home and it's okay, but when I actually have to speak,
my palms get sweaty, my heartbeat races and I just start to shake.
Now with most things that we do whether it's new or something that makes us nervous, it's always
important to just try and break that initial resistance. I know sometimes it's
easier said than done, but imagine you were in a life-threatening situation. You would actually
be forced to break that resistance, you wouldn't even think about it. So we kind of just have to
put ourselves in that kind of mindset and just really go for it. In those moments
when you're in a life-threatening situation or a really serious one, you don't even have the time
to think about it, so you just act. And this is going to help you to break that resistance,
to break through that barrier that is holding you back. That fear that is holding you back.
Think of English as a tool for other things. Maybe it will help you to start a new hobby,
you'll meet and make new friends or you'll even go for that job promotion you've been wanting.
What are you missing out on because of your fear. You have to think of it in this way what might
I actually be missing out on because I'm not putting myself out there and I'm not going for
it. So I suggest that you share this lesson with a friend because in it I'm going to be giving you an
action plan to help you feel more relaxed in those situations where you need to speak English. Such
as meeting someone new, going to a party or even in a school university or job related situation.
Because here at RealLife English we want to make sure that you are not alone in your learning
journey. As language learners ourselves we want to guide you beyond the classroom to
live your English. Just like David who says he's already improved his English with our channels,
but he's also downloaded the RealLife English App and has connected with lots of people from all
around the world. Because this is what learning English is all about. It's about connecting with
others and living your English. So if that's something you would like to do, make sure you
hit that subscribe button and the bell down below, that way you will not miss any of our new lessons.
Step one. You don't need to discuss nuclear physics or cryptocurrency
when you are trying to speak in English.
Speaking a language that is not your native one is a sign of bravery. I remind myself of this
every day when I have to make a phone call, for example, in Spanish. That's right, I've lived in
Barcelona in Spain for eight years now, but I still get nervous when I want to make a phone
call or I'm in a new situation that I haven't been in before and i have to speak the language. So I
still take some time beforehand to prepare myself or to plan and think about what I want to say.
So what I recommend you do is to start simple. Start with one sentence and then think about
the next sentence or even think of a question that you want to ask someone. When I first moved here,
we had a porter in our building, a doorman, and he was quite friendly and we just started by having
some small interactions with him every day to practice our Spanish, so it could be something
about the weather, a general comment about the weather, maybe asking him how his day was or how
he was doing and you know he'd probably ask us the same. So you just have to start off very small and
very simple. Also don't forget the benefits of practicing alone. So you might want to prepare
for these small interactions at first to help to build your confidence and to break away from
that fear factor. Don't forget even professional athletes, before they go out to a competition,
they must prepare and they do this on their own beforehand or with a trainer. So you can do the
same. You can prepare at home beforehand, you could write out a script, you could practice
speaking on your own or even if you have a friend who's also learning or someone that you trust,
you can practice with them. Send them some voice notes or, you know, practice speaking together.
Step two. You may say I just can't find the words to say...
Now, if you understand the main points of a video you're watching or a conversation that people are
having around you, chances are you probably know enough to be able to talk to them as well and
respond to them. What's missing is just piecing everything together. So you've probably heard some
of this vocabulary before, you've probably heard some of these comments before as well and it's
just remembering that and putting it all together. now I highly recommend, if you haven't already,
that you watch this lesson next because it's going to expand on this point even more.
It's also really important to make a conscious effort to notice some key phrases or questions
in conversations. Ones that you can then remember for future conversations.
For example "what do you think about that" and "did you hear about this?" That way, if you're
paying close attention you can then practice those in order to remember them. Forget about
fully rehearsed answers here. It's all about interaction. So your response doesn't need to be
perfect it's just about responding and interacting and making that connection with
someone. You don't need to remember a specific response to answering this question, for example
"have you heard about what happened in Italy this week?" So if someone is asking you a question,
that starts off with "have you" you are probably thinking you'd need to respond with "yes i have"
or "no i haven't" but if in that moment you can't remember that, it really doesn't matter. A simple
yes or no will do or even responding with, or like a simple shaking of the head or something
or if you didn't quite understand you could even say "oh no I'm not sure" or "no, what happened?"
Step three: you're bound to feel nervous in an unknown situation.
Now this is true of everyone. It's simply human nature, it doesn't really matter,
especially for myself, it doesn't really matter if I have experienced something
10 times before or if I'm doing something for the first time,
chances are I'm going to be a little bit nervous. Of course if I'm doing it for the first time,
my nerves are going to probably be a bit stronger than if I've done it many times. But I think also
having that nervous feeling means that you care about what is happening. So it's not necessarily
a really bad thing, it's true that second language anxiety is a real thing, so don't be too hard on
yourself here. But I can guarantee you that as you practice you start to do this more and more,
it's going to get better. So, for example, like I just explained, if you're doing something
for the first time, you're going to feel strong feelings of nervousness, but then if you're doing
it for the eighth ninth or tenth time, you still might feel a bit nervous, but it's going to be
a lot better because you've had some practice. You might have those negative thoughts going on
in your head like "oh but my English isn't good enough" or "what if they don't understand me",
but the thing is if that holds you back and you never actually speak, you're never actually going
to practice and improve your English and you're never even going to know the answers to those
questions. You'll never know how to run a 5k race if you've never dipped your toes in running for
one minute or two minutes or even trying a sprint for example. I remember back in 2013 I set myself
the challenge of running the London Marathon and I wasn't a runner at all. In fact, I didn't really
enjoy running at all either, that's why it was a challenge for me. But I started off with a 5k,
so I started off with something much, much smaller that was then going to help me build
on that to then be able to run the marathon, which I managed to do successfully even with an injury.
So this also even emphasizes the point I made in point one with
"start simple". Start with something small and then build on that. It's really going to help you.
Step four: people won't laugh at you, but you should probably laugh at yourself.
Don't forget that language is alive, slang words come and go all the time, so slang that I used
to use as a kid is not as popular now and there are so many new words that probably even I don't
know and I don't use. So it's virtually impossible to know all of the words and all of the meanings
at any given time. Would you mock someone that was trying to speak your native language? I would hope
not, I certainly would never do this, especially as a language learner myself, I'm just so grateful
that people speak English or even try to speak English with me that I would never mock them.
Even if they make a mistake, I wouldn't correct them, unless they ask me if they have made a
mistake or not. If you use a word incorrectly and people notice it or someone comments on it, just
laugh at yourself see the light in the situation. You're a language learner, you're not a language
expert. And i mean, even natives make mistakes as well and we laugh at ourselves all the time,
so you should too. To this day I remember specific mistakes that I've made in Spanish living here in
Spain as well. Some have been with friends, some have been with people that I don't know,
but I learn from all of those and I still laugh at some of those situations as well. There have
been somewhere I've mixed up words or I've learned that some words in Spanish have double meanings
which I didn't know of. And, you know, although maybe sometimes in that moment you get a little
bit embarrassed, you can really see the funny side of it and that's what you need to do.
Step five is to find a judgment-free environment to practice just a little bit every day.
Each conversation is a moment to practice to get even better. You might find a speaking club,
you might find other language learners in your city or in your town. And also this is why we
created the RealLife English App. Everyone there is a language learner, so there is no
pressure at all, you can connect with like-minded people for short dynamic conversations. And even
if someone is at a different level than you, it's not going to make your English worse,
you'll see that as you start to use it. If you find someone whose level is better than yours,
see it as an opportunity to learn from them. And if you find someone whose level is a bit lower
than yours, then you can see it as an opportunity to teach them something that maybe you learnt or
that they don't know. So to start practicing your speaking just for a little bit every single day,
make sure you download the RealLife English App. You definitely won't regret it and it's
absolutely free. You can do it right now in the Google Play or the Apple App Store
or you can click this link up here and I'll also add it down in the description below.
Now if when you are speaking in your native language you feel confident and you speak a lot
but when you're speaking in English you're constantly apologizing and saying "sorry for
my bad English", then this lesson is definitely for you. So make sure you watch it next.