can help you with your adoption search then put it in the
make contact yet and so even though the research part and
website. There's a link in the description below and on each
contact and the reunion has taken quite a long time and he
with for just a little over a year where we know the his
father is one of three people and over that time, he's been
processing that and he is not yet decided that he wants to
amount of time. I actually have somebody that I've been working
them. If you have questions and you want to get some more help
comments below make sure you check out the DNA Adoption. org
rapidly this last stage of these four steps of making
in understanding what's going on. You may have lots of time
have gone through this and also seen all the different ways
Recognize that this last part may actually take the longest
out to the online groups at DNA Adoption. Feel free to Email
that people can react. Now, while I'm not adopted myself,
a fun and a rewarding process just in the search for it.
their one who raised them. I've seen lots of different ways
I've had the pleasure of working with several people who
of these videos. I hope that you have success in your search
the gathering of information part actually happened rather
it that is his decision if you have questions about how DNA
but the other person may not want it and so, afterwards, you
these involve again multiple people. You may want something
also deal with what they want going forward. Again, this is
where the DNA adoption online groups are going to be helpful
that new family. Others may be satisfied with just having met
and that's all they want. They don't want anything else. And
these steps really on this part is most of these deal with
always going to be one way or another. Every instance where
a connection, where do you go from here and as with all of
people. Now, the final step of this is the afterward phrase.
beforehand and you're preparing yourself for the different
But searching for and finding your biological parents can be
may decide in the end that he doesn't want to continue with
to process this, you may not have much time to process this.
want to have this connection and others don't want to have
other person is feeling and what you want to do. It's not
emotions and deal with how you're feeling and how the
an adoptee is finding their biological parents is going to
this connection. So, reach out to your support groups. Reach
that this has happened, both happy and sad where some people
this and so it's important that you're thinking about this
you should be prepared in case everybody is not the same
same way that other family members are going to accept
emotions as you. Some family members may not accept this the
What happens after you've had this reunion after you've made
have been or who didn't realize that a biological parent wasn't
because you're going to be able to have support from others who
be different. Some people are going to accept this and
need to recognize what it is that you want going forward but
they're going to want to have an ongoing relationship with
a really joyful occasion and that there are no problems but
range of emotions that you're going to be seeing out of
anything like that you may find that this is actually you know
website and the DNA online support groups the adoption
something that you need to prepare for. And it can take a
thing that everybody needs to recognize is that you're not
correctly then hopefully that will lead to a reunion. But
going to have the type of relationship that you want. One
ancestor that you don't know. That you hadn't found before.
This is where you're actually going to meet your biological
four and the eleventh step overall is the reunion phrase.
contact phase and Know what you're getting into with this
online support groups to talk with others about this reunion
entitled to have a relationship with anybody. You may want that
but they may not want that. That's going to be something
particularly and whether or not they would be open to contact
done both ways in some cases where there was an adoptee that
was contacting me because of a close relationship in our
or whether they should have somebody else make the contact
you're going to be contacting. Third step of this group of
This can be a happy time. This can be a sad time. This can be
that reunion doesn't necessarily mean that you're
parents. So you're going to meet a relative of this
may not be the same as the other person's emotions that
and make sure you're making the right one for that situation
various ways. You can write a letter, you can write an Email,
making this initial contact. Now, you can make contact in
the time is the one really that we've been waiting for is
then is after you've done this preparation, after you've taken
and so that was a way to help facilitate some of that
people's opinions who have gone through this before because
parents are. Who have been searching and wanting to know
other family members about you know who this could be
really difficult for people who don't know who their biological
rush this. The this is probably a you know where the pinnacle
org website, there is some resources for you to help you
were contacting me first to try to get some information about
something that you may want to role play with somebody
and in the research I've done I've heard it talked about both
contact or asking for some more information and some people may
beforehand so that you feel comfortable in making that
different ways that it has happened. So there's not one
going to be going through next. So, go and take a look online
talked for about an hour about not just his one experience but
to get as much information as possible. There have been lots
through this. Now, we had Larry John's on this program and he
very emotional time for that biological family who may or
through this and talk about the things to do when you're making
emphasized more than anything else in this stage is don't
make a situation worse than what it was. Now this may be
the father's side, I was able to contact the correct people
on the mother's side. The other thing with preparing for your
out. So, check those out as well. The one thing that is
about contacting and what they did, how they did that, and
that is difficult probably for you. And so this reunion is
urge you to go back to the website the DNA adoption
contact how to actually have that conversation. It's
resources about making contact. So, for instance, you can
about. On the DNA Adoption website, there is a list of
back to step nine, look at the preparing and be ready for this
that are going on. Now if you've done the contact
family I knew from who they're talking about and then looking
a very confusing time. There can be any number of emotions
which is really part of the step nine that we just talked
you can make a phone call. You could even make an in-person
that it was related through and that's the side I had to go
found is that even though I'd isolated it down to this one
some cases, I found that. In some cases, what I've actually
would discount this potential match as being where it is. In
of people who have gone through this and there are lots of
either he's also helped several adoptees go through this
and so the emotions that you're going to feel are going to be
process because it is something that is personal for each one
contact. Make sure you understand that your emotions
will then go and I will create as much of a family history
visit but with each one of these, you want to think about
information but you may not always have that. So again, go
as much time or as little time as you need and again I would
contacting these other people. I then discreetly talk to some
what you should do and how it should be where it should be
of your emotions are. You've had this search and you found
him was not his biological father and then the new
biological father turned out wasn't his biological father
not already have some knowledge for the records that we're
groups in finding resources that can help us where we may
this is not just an emotional time for you but this can be a
individuals who might be that biological parent that you're
Now, this can be done through our traditional genealogy
helped this or people who have been adoptees who have gone
information from people who have been counselors who've
generations back. It was actually the mother's family
at the DNA where that relationship was and so they
what they need to be prepared for. Also, on the DNA Adoption.
ask whether they should be making the contact themselves
ways in cases that I've been involved this I've also had it
each of these different individuals and hearing about
their experiences will help prepare you for what you're
little cookie cutter approach. Um but I think talking with
these DNA adoption groups on Facebook or elsewhere in order
two experiences of finding out that hey his person who raised
make sure you're taking all the right steps so that you don't
research in identifying people who weren't in the right place
them, we want to narrow that list down as much as possible.
for for years or decades. Um but this is a time where it
would be good to take a step back and also get some other
looking for. The first thing that we want to do for this is
may not have known about your existence and then next step
actually go to any of these links and get some more
family, when I looked just a bit further after building out
different but I think it's important to go enjoy some of
with a list of 20 or 30 people and have to contact all of
the contact is we want to gather as much possible
information as we can. In other words, we don't want to start
through. So, instead of having to contact all the people on
contact is you want to be talking with others who've gone
tree of that person as I can just using the resources
helping adoptees, after we've narrowed it down to a list, I
available online to see if there's any information that
remember that this process is not just for a adoptees but
already in researching about people in connecting trees.
it and you want to just have this confirmed. You want to
and join the DNA Adoption online groups and ask people
for adopted parents. And this is the contact, the reunion,
at the right time as well as through contacting different
want to use DNA in order to solve that question. So let's
about actually using that to help build trees to find out
get started on the last phase of the steps in order to search
and the afterward phase. Now you've done a lot of work
their tree. Oh, it wasn't the father, you know, a couple of
members. It's just two dollars and ninety-nine cents a month.
we want to prepare for the contact and by preparing for
Hopefully, you've narrowed this down to one, maybe two or three
org. There is lots of resources and more information about the
looking at. In a lot of cases, when I have done this in
who your biological parents are and if you're not adopted, just
information and taking the DNA test and the second sec was
ancestors story along the way. Be sure to subscribe to our
really for anytime that you have a unknown ancestor and you
parents be sure to check out their website DNA Adoption.
how you might be able to find your adopt your biological
process that can be very helpful for you in finding out
we've been showing you how to use DNA as a research tool in
Adoption. org. Now, the first section was about gathering
understand your DNA, climb your family tree, and write your
Click on the join button below. In our search for adoptees,
on DNA Adoption. org. in finding what you are looking for.
If you've been following along with this series of videos,
channel and if you'd like to join our member section, we
we've gone through the first two sets of steps from the DNA
have access to even more training for those paid
Howdy, I'm Andy Lee with Family Houstonetics where we help you
finding adoptive parents using the methodology that is shown