The deep, dark depths of the ocean.
Over twelve thousand feet deep, and covering an incredible amount of the planet we live
on, it’s not hard to see why we haven’t explored all of it.
Bad weather, ocean currents, overwhelming water pressure, all good reasons to stick
to land if at all possible.
Plus, people have been telling stories of aquatic atrocities pretty much since we first
dipped our pinky toes in naturally occurring bodies of water.
What could possibly be dwelling down below?
Mythic beasts?
Undiscovered underwater societies?
Dinosaurs?
If you answered dinosaurs, boy you’re in for a treat.
Hello fellow friends and philosophers, and welcome back to the most mind-bending channel
on YouTube: Life’s Biggest Questions.
I’m your voice in the void, Keegan Hughes, and today we have a particularly water-logged
question for you all: What if Nezahal Was Real?
Don’t know who that is?
Worry not!
We’ll get there in a moment.
Before we begin, make sure to give this video a big thumbs up, and subscribe for more subaquatic
queries.
Wicked, let’s get started.
The name Nezahal might be familiar to any fans of Magic: The Gathering out there.
One of the six elder dinosaurs, Nezahal has the title of Primal Tide.
Each representing one of the six types of Mana, these ancient beings were held in stasis
during Orazca’s long hibernation in the earth.
Primal Tide is the aquatic variety, a manifestation of blue mana and the devouring depths of the
sea.
The other Elder Dinosaurs are manifestations of mana as well, with the titles of Primal
Death, Dawn, Calamity, Storm, and Hunger.
Definitely not creatures you would want to mess with.
Nezahal looks a like a giant mix between a liopleurodon and a plesiosaurus, and can slip
away into the depths before reappearing to cause havoc.
At sea, this beast is a force to be reckoned with, downing ships and other aquatic creatures
in a heartbeat.
If it were real, we’d be in for a hell of a time.
The first thing you would have to assume if Nezahal came to life on Planet Earth would
be that the other Elder Dinosaurs would awaken as well.
There’s no picking and choosing here, if one awakens, so do the rest.
The opening of the golden city waits for no one.
So now we have six ancient dinosaurs roaming the earth, each harnessing immense elemental
power.
Jurassic Park has nothing on these SOBs.
If you though the T-Rex running free caused a lot of problems, imagine what would happen
if dino’s ten times bigger with Mana powers had the same free reign.
Mass.
Destruction.
It would make for a wicked movie for sure, but we definitely don’t want these guys
ruining our cities and trampling our livestock.
It would be like any given multi-monster Godzilla movie!
And we do not have Pacific Rim style mechs to deal with that.
Now you might think: hey, maybe they’ll leave us alone!
Or even better: maybe they will just keep to themselves and cause havoc in some far-off
place.
WRONG.
Mana users usually take umbrage with other mana users, meaning that they would seek each
other out and try to destroy different coloured dinos.
Our blue boy Nezahal would team up with Tetzimoc, Primal Death and Zetalpa, Primal Dawn before
heading out to take on Etali, Primal Storm and Ghalta, Primal Hunger.
And once they got there, it would become very apparent that not everybody agrees on their
alliances and enemies, and the fight would turn real ugly.
As a race, I don’t think humans are ready for the environment-altering clash that would
occur.
So the fight would go on, and some continents would shift.
The world would never be the same.
BUT!
Some of the primal dinos would die.
Sad, I know.
Dinosaurs are sick as hell, but they don’t fight for fun.
Almost as tragic as the asteroid that wiped them out in the first place.
But wait.
If some dinosaurs were able to survive all this time, wouldn’t that imply a wide variety
of ancient scaly beasts living out their lives in secret?
Yes!
That’s exaclty what I’m implying.
If Nezahal was real, that means the other Primal Dinosaurs are, which should mean that
other, less insane dinosaurs survived somewhere as well.
Not a whole lot of them, of course, because we would have figured it out by now, but enough
to keep their little dino society running behind the scenes.
Granted, most of these would probably be deep, deep underwater, because that’s the place
safest from mass extinction, but dinosaurs nonetheless!
We would have an ancient species roaming the Earth once again!
Hopefully the fight between the Elder Dinosaurs left us with a shaky alliance between them
too, because we could use them for other things!
Okay, specifically we could use Nezahal for other things.
The others probably wouldn’t cooperate and we’d have to eventually take them down,
nukes or otherwise.
But Nezahal is the manifestation of Blue Mana!
The mana that embodies the concepts of logic and technology!
The mana that seeks perfection through knowledge, that sees the world as an opportunity!
Within the world hides wonder and possibility!
So I bet we could feed it enough fish and get it to side with us!
We would have a giant liopleurodon slash plesiosaurus to guide us through the depths, discovering
ancient aquatic dinosaurs the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Jurassic era.
But where do we go from here?
Well, did anyone ever play Zoo Tycoon?
With the expansion pack?
Yup, we live in an era of unrestricted free enterprise, so we’re getting DINOSAUR ZOOS.
Oh hell yeah.
Come on down to Nezahal’s Underwater Dino-Zoo!
Pay fifty bucks to swim with a Rhomaleosaurus.
Watch the apex predators of their time tear through some fishy meals!
It would be incredible!
And what happens when you collect a bunch of ancient, thought-to-be-extinct dinosaurs
and open a theme park?
Jurassic Park happens.
Dinosaur rampages through the waiting area!
Life will not be contained!
Hopefully that means we get the cool dino-orbs from Jurassic World too.
So there we would be, after the largest dino-fuelled-massacre in history, with a whole lot of questions
to be answered.
The media would have a field day with it.
Who is responsible?
Why were these dangerous creatures brought into captivity?
Why were the scientists so preoccupied with whether or not they could?
Why didn’t they consider if they should!
Which would then bring us back to Nezahal.
The Primal Tide is the reason all of this happened in the first place.
And people would be pissed!
What better scapegoat than a giant aquatic monster with no concept of human suffering?
Even with all of the other Elder Dinosaurs gone, people would be out for blood.
Dinosaur blood.
Sure, it would take a while for the public to come to some sort of consensus on whether
or not to kill the wave-running rampager, but in the end the thirst for blood always
wins.
Humans don’t forgive!
We only forget!
Nezahal would be sentenced to death, but would not take it lying down.
Actually, I doubt an aquatic beast of that size even could lie down.
Back to the point I was making, Nezahal would be pissed that people are trying to kill it,
and would definitely go on a watery rampage.
How many ships and subs would be sunk before humans could land a finishing blow on the
crazy creature?
Dozens?
Hundreds?
But in the end, the ocean would have one more giant corpse.
And that would be it for the Elder Dinosaurs!
An ancient race brought to extinction because people got mad.
Huh.
Where have we heard that one before?
And that just about wraps up my theory on what would happen in Nezahal was real!
All of the most ancient and terrifying dinosaurs would come back as a package deal, and wreak
havoc with their elemental powers.
Then, most of them would die, and we would strike up a scientific deal with Nezahal itself.
After that, we would make some incredible discoveries, and immediately try to profit
off of them.
This profiteering would end in a bunch of paying customers being eaten by dinos, which
would then lead to public outrage.
Kinda like the whole Harambe incident, but with dinosaurs.
And someone would have to take the fall, namely Nezahal.
Rest in Pieces you fishy fiend.
And may the waves carry you gently to eternal slumber.
So what did you think?
Would things play out a little differently if Nezahal popped up in the Atlantic one day?
Are there any Magic creatures you want to hear more about?
Let me know down in the comments!
Speaking of comments, let’s take a quick look at some of yours from last time:
Matt Smith says “Do “What if Will Smith was real?”
You’d know best about that one, he’s your brother after all”
Nicholas Miracle asks “So… if I use an Eldrazi deck, does that make me one of the
most powerful beings in the Magic world?”
You gotta talk to your local Tournament Organizer about that one, make sure you don’t get
banned.
LONG FORGOTTEN says “You should do a what if one punch man fought cthulu”
Saitama huh?
I’ve got two words for you: One.
Punch.
Cameron Mason says “Hey I’m a huge fan” That’s great to hear!
How fast do your blades spin?
Jacob Dixon says “Bruh what u mean we don’t have any powerful human beings, we have Bruce
Lee, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, and Stephen Hawking”
I don’t want to burst your bubble, but only fifty percent of your list is ready to fight
these days.
R.I.P. to some real ones.
And that’s all the time we have for today!
Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time.