Hi there this is Clay Andrews, I am the world's leading breakup expert for high achievers,
and in this video we are going to be talking about how to get your ex back after a very,
very bad breakup.
And as you know, sometimes breakups can be very emotional, you know, depending on kind
of the dynamics of the relationship and what happened during the breakup.
Maybe there were a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of fighting and arguing and disagreements
over, you know, things that kind of led into that breakup.
And first of all, I want you to understand that, I know how much pain that can be, especially
if the breakup was really bad, especially if there was like, you know, a lot of complicated
stuff going on, like maybe rebound relationships or, you know, a little bit of backstabbing
or betrayal of some sort.
And I just want you to know that it's going to be okay.
Right? you know, I've been there myself, I've helped a lot of people have been through really
hard stuff like that and I just really want you to know that things are going to be okay.
I'm beyond that in terms of how to actually kind of get your ex back.
The very first thing that you want to do is take a little bit of time away from each other.
Right? you know, you've probably read about this, you know, in our billion different places
on the internet or on other video channels on youtube.
Why are you watching other video channels on youtube besides this one? but, you know,
you've probably heard about the no contact rule.
you know, first of all, I want you to understand that, there is a very good reason for you
to be taking that time apart from your ex.
If the two of you had a very nasty breakup, a, so you definitely want to use the no contact
rule.
Now, a lot of places on the Internet just talk about the no contact rule.
Like, it's just like one thing, like it's the no contact will, right? but just like
there is no, like the car, you know, there's different types of cars, there's Volvo's,
toyotas, lamborghinis, stuff like that.
There's like a vast variety of different types of cars.
There are actually many different types of no contact rules as well.
And what I would strongly recommend is that you do the Active, no contact rule.
This is a form of a no contact that, that I kind of put together several years ago,
in order to help my clients better because I've found the traditional types of no contact
that maybe you've heard about elsewhere are just not very effective.
Okay.
So, definitely do active no contact.
And the main thing about active no contact is that it's going to give you the time and
space, number one, that the time apart from your ex is going to help you kind of reduce
the negative feelings towards you.
A negative feelings like reactance or anger or hurt feelings or whatever there might be.
But beyond that, it's also going to give you a space where you can really work on advanced
relational skills and these are the really important things that are going to show your
ex that, you know, you can get back together them and that they're not going to be walking
back into the same relationship that they walked out on in the first place.
Advanced relational skills are kind of like the cornerstone of what I teach and what I
help my clients with.
The advanced relational skills are absolutely critical.
Okay.
You know, I know that a lot of times people just wondering like, what do I say?
What do I text them?
Like, what are the magic words and all that.
But, you know, you have to understand that there are no magic words that you are going
to be able to say unless your ex really gets that things are going to be fundamentally
different.
Okay.
Not that you're telling them that things are going to be different, not that you're promising
up and down, that things are going to be different.
Not that you're like begging and saying, Hey, come back to me and think will definitely
be different, but you're actually showing them through a pattern of consistency, of
behavior that things are going to be different.
Okay?
And this is where the advanced relational skills coming.
So, as a recap, you know, you are, you've created this space of doing active, no contact
as opposed to the passive, no contact rules that maybe you've heard about in other places
on the Internet.
And within that space you're gonna be focusing on the advanced relational skills.
These skills will help you connect and bond with your ex in a new and better way so that
you can have a more emotional connection, more depth of connection, more honesty and
more trust.
All of that good stuff, right?
And once you start to put all of this good stuff into the quality of the connection between
you and your ex, that is when the good stuff is going to come back to you in the forms
of you know, your ex wanting to spend more time with you wanting to interact with you
more.
And eventually being open and willing to commit to, again, it's a start, a new relationship
together with you.
Again, what are the two of you can really start fresh and that's kind of the most important
thing that you can focus on is really cultivating those advanced relational skills.
So, you know, number one, your situation is absolutely not hopeless.
you know, I've been through a lot of kind of blunders in my own, experience, you know,
dealing with breakups and getting back together with my ex in the past.
And I know that you can do this too, no matter how bad things might seem, but, you know,
definitely number one, it takes some time apart if you haven't already, because it's
gonna give your ex some time to really let their emotions cool off.
And also, you know, your emotions are probably pretty high right now as well too.
And it'll allow the two of you to kind of come together again after that period and
have a bit more civil interactions during this time.
Do active, no contact.
Focus on the advanced relational skills.
Focus on how you are bringing yourself to the interactions and you'll be able to have
a much better impact, a much deeper connection, much stronger connection with your ex, when
the two of you do get back in touch with each other.
Okay.
And I know I've just kind of given you kind of a big picture overview.
So here's how you can get kind of more actionable steps, more indepth help.
That's to go over to my website relationshipinnergame.com.
There's going to be a link down below in the description or you can just type it into your
web browser. and then what I'd like you to do there is just go ahead and sign up for
our email newsletter.
I'm going to be able to share with you tips, advice, help, et Cetera, on how you can get
back together with your ex, even if it's been a really tough and difficult breakup.
Okay, so head over to release.
You're going to relationshipinnergame.com.
Sign up for the newsletter there.
You can start helping.
You do.
Thanks a lot.