- What the fuuuu--
- I'm Russian, this guy right here is American.
- I'm Russian.
- I'm clearly the American.
- It's very cold here.
- Of course she has a Russian jacket.
- What kind of drinks are you expecting?
- I think of Wodka, with a W.
- That's it, vodka?
- Yeah, vod--
- Okay, let's surprise him,
let's show him what mother Russia had.
- Looks like beer.
- Yeah, it smells like beer, it's just beer.
- Oh my god.
- Holy shit.
- So this is actually called Yorsh.
- Ah, I love Borscht.
- Nope, very different.
Borscht is red beet soup, this is beer and vodka.
- Know what's funny, is that
it tastes like beer and vodka.
- I just need to move to Russia.
This is some smart sh*t.
That's how you know he's Russian.
- I need to take a nap!
- This is how the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
got their superpowers.
- This is Tarhun, it's a traditional drink from Georgia.
- Do I detect a hint of green?
And bubbles?
- I teach you Russian tradition, you ready?
- Yes.
- Before you drink, every time you must say toast.
- To my beautiful future Russian wife.
(crickets chirping)
- Oh, I like that.
It's not too sweet.
- So this is like Russian Sprite.
- That was great, I mean, I'd,
keep 'em coming.
- Keep it going, let's go.
- Smells like nail polish remover.
- Nail salon.
- Yeah, oh, wait a minute.
- What do they give you guys in Russia, what the f*ck?
- Mmm, mmm.
My favorite childhood drink.
Is good, yes?
- This is great!
- Doesn't taste like a nail salon.
- The acetone--
(tongue sounds)
Allo!
- He's so drunk, he's so drunk, he's drunk!
- It's kind of like a ginger ale with like a weird,
like a slight hint of I don't know what that is.
- Like ginger ale?
- This looks like some sort of Russian cola?
- Why does this smell like a plate of dinner or something?
(sniffing)
- Your smile is white as the snow on an afternoon.
No, that was horrible, man!
In Texas we say stuff like,
"darling, you're so pretty,
"you're the only lone star I need."
- I like, I loves it!
- That's a good one.
What do you think? No?
- You take black bread, rye bread,
and you soak it overnight in water,
and that creates fermentation, and then so basically,
this is liquid bread.
- Oh, it moves so slow!
- Oh!
Ew! Ew!
- This is uh, Ryazhenka, which is baked milk.
- It's very good, no?
You're gonna get used to it, he gonna get used to it.
- Beauty hurts.
- This is great, we get to try water.
- Doesn't smell like anything.
What is that!?
- I don't understand this drink.
It doesn't make any sense.
- It tastes exactly what it would taste like
if you woke up in the morning, didn't brush your teeth,
still had your nasty retainers in there,
and then took a sip of water.
- Yes! Yes, it tastes like nasty retainer!
- If you took like, beach water
and then made it like seltzer,
it's like seltzer beach water.
- It's mineral water.
It's very very healthy,
it has a lot of amazing health benefits and,
also, it's a Russian trick to cure hangover.
- Whoa, it smells like breast milk.
- Oh, I don't want this.
- Why?
- This is a, this smells awful.
(groaning)
- No, no, no!
(retching)
- I love it, which is so weird, I think it--
- Oh my god, the aftertaste!
- It burned my tongue.
- It burned the sh*t out of my tongue.
- Have you ever have milk from a horse?
(retching)
- It's horse milk, of course.
It's horse milk, it's just horse milk.
Of course.
No big deal, it's horse milk.
It's horse milk!
- The good news is--
- There's no good news--
- It's very high in whey protein.
- You know how exotic horse milk is?
- What is it supposed to do for you?
Is it like, there's any benefits?
- Yeah, what?
- Probably healthy.
- All this stuff was great, I mean,
all of it was great.
Besides the horse milk, I mean,
it was really delicious, and uh,
I really enjoyed all of it.
- Feel like now we gotta go get some Russian drinks
together, we gotta go hit like a Russian happy hour like
this friendship can't stop here.
- With some pickles on the side.
- My eyes are open to Russian culture,
and my eyes are definitely open
to the beauty of a Russian bride.
Das-vyoo-don-yoo.
(laughter)
- Texas Russian.