WE HAVE HELP TO HANDLE THE UPS
AND DOWNS OF CONNECTING DURING
CORONA.
>> I WAS HERE MORE OFTEN.
I WASN’T ON THE ROAD, AND WE HAD
TO KIND OF GET ON A NEW RHYTHM.
>> MARRIED FOR 32 YEARS, STEVE
AND LAURA PETERSON WENT APART
FROM BEING APART THREE WEEKS OF
EACH MONTHS BECAUSE OF HIS JOB
TO BEING HOME CONSTANTLY.
>> I DIDN’T HAVE TO TELL ANYONE
WHAT ERRANDS, WHEN I LEAVE NOW,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO, WHAT
TIME ARE YOU GOING TO BE BACK.
>> Reporter: AFTER SEVERAL
MONTHS, THEY FOUND A NEW RHYTHM,
BUT A RECENT SURVEY FOUND ONE IN
FIVE WERE FIGHTING MORE THAN
BEFORE THE PANDEMIC, AND 30%
SAID THEY WERE MORE ANNOYED WITH
THEIR PARTNER.
>> IS THE PANDEMIC SOMETHING
THAT COULD MAKE OR BREAK A
RELATIONSHIP.
PSYCHIATRIST, SHE SAYS THINGS
THAT WERE MINOR ISSUES BEFORE
THE PANDEMIC CAN MORPH INTO
MAJOR ONES WHEN YOU’RE TOGETHER
24/7.
>> THEY’RE BICKERING, FIGHTING,
WHO’S GOING TO DO WHAT, JUST
BECAUSE WE’RE SPENDING MORE TIME
DOESN’T MEAN WE’RE HAVING MORE
FUN.
>> WHAT ARE THE TOP COMPLAINTS
YOU’RE HEARING FROM COUPLES.
>> PEOPLE ARE STUCK AT HOME,
FINDING THERE’S NOR DIRTY
DISHES, LAUNDRY, HOME SCHOOLING,
KIDS ARE AT HOME.
THE BALANCE BETWEEN REST AND
RELAXATION VERSUS THE WORK THAT
NEEDS TO BE DONE IS VERY
DELICATE BALANCE.
>> IT’S NOT ALL BAD NEWS.
71% OF UNMARRIED COUPLES SAY
THEIR RELATIONSHIPS HAVE GOTTEN
MORE SERIOUS SINCE THE PANDEMIC
BEGAN.
MALIK AND KELSEY MET LAST SUMMER
AND MARRIED THIS SUMMER.
THEY SAY CORONAVIRUS AND
QUARANTINING CEMENTED THEIR
CONNECTION.
>> IT’S REALLY GIVEN US AN
OPPORTUNITY TO KIND OF
EXPERIENCE A LOT OF RELATIONSHIP
IN A SHORTER PERIOD OF TIME.
>> WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN
CHALLENGES COME UP?
>> WE TALK.
AND THAT’S NOT ALWAYS EASY, BUT
THERE’S NO OTHER WAY TO GET
THROUGH IT.
>> WHEN YOU DO FIGHT, HOW YOU
FIGHT IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN
WHAT YOU’RE FIGHTING ABOUT.
>> DR. VAR MA SAYS YOU CAN KEEP
CONNECTING BY PRAISING AND
APPRECIATING YOUR PARTNER.
FINDING TIME DAILY FOR FUN AND
RELAXING CONVERSATIONS AND
SCHEDULING TIME FOR REAL
TOGETHERNESS, WHETHER IT’S A
WALK OR A DATE NIGHT.
>> WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU HAVE
LEARNED THAT HELP YOU STAY
CONNECTED.
>> JUST BEING TOLERANT OF ONE
ANOTHER, AND RECOGNIZING WHAT
EACH PERSON EXPERIENCES OF THIS
PANDEMIC.
>> WITH COVID CHAOS PUTTING A
STRAIN ON COUPLES, DR. VARMA
SAYS ACCEPTING YOUR PARTNER CAN
KEEP YOUR UNION STRONG.
>> BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED KEEP
BOTH EYES OPEN, AFTER YOU GET
MARRIED, KEEP ONE EYE CLOSED,
LET GO OF THE LITTLE THINGS.
>> DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
DR. VARMA SAID SELF-CARE,
DESTRESS, AND SEEK YOUR OWN
PERSONAL GROWTH.
THAT WILL HELP YOU BRING YOUR
BEST SELVES TO THE RELATIONSHIP.
>> I THINK WE NEED A BUNCH OF
DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIPS IN OUR
LIVES.
WE’RE PINNED INTO ONE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED AN
EXPERT, AS OPPOSED TO WE’LL RIDE
THIS OUT, AND IT WILL BE FINE IN
A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
>> DR. VARMA SAYS THERE ARE FOUR
THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR,
CRITICISM, CONTEMPT,
DEFENSIVENESS AND STONE WALLING.
>> CHECK, CHECK, CHECK, CHECK.
IF YOU’RE PICKING ON YOUR
PARTNER, FEELING ANGRY OR
RESENTFUL AND GETTING DEFENSIVE,
WRITE IT DOWN.
.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
>> THOSE ARE RED FLAGS.
THAT’S WHEN YOU SHOULD CONSIDER
GETTING HELP.
>> WHAT ABOUT SNORING, IS THAT
NIGHT ON THE LIST.
>> IF IT ISN’T, IT SHOULD BE.
I WAS SLEEP DIVORCED BEFORE THE
PANDEMIC.
>> PREPARING FOR IT.
>> THIS IS A FUNNY QUESTION.
YOU KNOW, WHAT ACTIVITIES COULD
BRING YOU CLOSER TOGETHER, BUT
ISN’T THE PROBLEM LIKE DO YOU
WANT TO BE CLOSER TOGETHER.
>> TOO MUCH TOGETHER.
>> ISN’T IT THE POINT, IT’S TOO
MUCH.
>> MAYBE ACTIVITIES DON’T BRING
YOU CLOSER FOR QUANTITY, QUALITY
OF TIME.
FINDING NEW WAYS TO SEE A NEW
DIMENSION OF YOUR PARTNER.
FIND A WAY TO EXPERIENCE AWE,
GET OUTSIDE, GO SEE NATURE, THAT
APPARENTLY REALLY DOES BOOST
YOUR MOOD.
ALSO, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GO
SEE A COUNSELOR, MAYBE THAT’S IN
THE CARDS FOR YOU, LISTEN TO A
PODCAST OR READ A RELATIONSHIP
BOOK, AND TALK ABOUT IT.
IT’S LIKE AN ASSIGNMENT FOR
YOURSELF AS A COUPLE.
>> MEN LOVE THAT, ESPECIALLY
THIS RELATIONSHIP.
>> WHAT COULD GO WRONG THERE.
>> WE PREFER TO DRINK AND YELL.
>> HOW IS THAT WORKING OUT FOR
YOU?
>> NO, I’M KIDDING.
>> NO, YOU’RE NOT.
>> WHAT ARE SOME SIGNS THAT I
SHOULD LOOK FOR IN SIRI, I MEAN,
A PARTNER.
>> NO NAMES, NOT NAMING NAMES.
IF YOUR PARTNER IS SUDDENLY
AGITATED, IRRITABLE, HAVING
TROUBLE SLEEPING AND IT’S NOT
BECAUSE OF THE FOURTH BABY,
THOSE COULD BE SIGNS OF REAL
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, YOU
MIGHT WANT TO REACH OUT, CHECK
IN, SAY DO WE NEED HELP.
>> WE JOKE, BUT CAN I JUST SAY,
DON’T YOU THINK LAUGHTER.
>> LEVITY HAS BEEN A BIG THING
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, JUST TO
LAUGH AT THE MOMENT.
>> NO MATTER HOW THINGS GET.
MIKE, HE’S SO FUNNY, IF HE SAYS
SOMETHING FUNNY, I’M LIKE, I
LOVE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN.
>> PHYSICAL RELEASE.
>> THAT BREAKS A LOT OF THE ICE.
>> GET A JOKE BOOK OR A FUNNY
MOVIE.
>> BY THE WAY, JENNA PICKS UP ON