(slow piano tune)
- [Man] As the Holiday party got on the way,
and Jack Frost brought winter to bear,
Grant still couldn't help wondering,
about the true meaning of Christmas.
(cheering)
- Alright, more of a rap than a rock, though.
You know, Christmas.
So, when is the rest of the office gonna get here, alright?
- We didn't invite them.
- What? You rented out this whole bar just for us?
- Yeah, we got this, we got a bunch of billiards tables.
- No, no, no, that's such a waste of money.
We need to be more careful--
- Guys, I know we said that we were not
gonna exchange gifts this year,
but I couldn't help myself.
- You little sweetheart. - Come on, you.
- Giving gifts is the true meaning of Christmas.
- Really?
- Yeah, listen, consumerism eating us alive.
- Allie, give it a rest.
(gasps) - Thank you so much.
Wait, I...
I just got this.
This exact same slow cooker, like a week ago.
- Oh, really? That stinks, that really stinks.
- Wait, you were saying that you really wanted to get one.
- Yeah, I guess I was.
- Dude, just have this one.
(cheering)
That's perfect, right.
- This is the Christmas spirit.
- Yeah. - Here, Trapp.
- Oh wow, you know this is perfect
´cause people keep throwing my laptop around.
- Yes.
- I think it's a little too small for my computer, though.
- Oh!
- You know, if you just give me the receipt,
I can just go exchange it.
- Dang!
Dang! Dang!
The store...
closed.
- Best Buy?
- Yeah, dang!
- [Trapp] All the Best Buys?
- Dang, they're all gone.
So sorry, I guess I'll just have to take it back.
- Sure, yeah all right.
I guess it'll fit your computer better than mine, anyway.
- Here, Grant.
- Beard shampoo?
- Oh, I'm an idiot, you don't have a beard.
- I don't. - You can't even grow one.
- I can't. - 'Cause your weak face.
I'm so sorry.
- Hey Ralph, you're not just getting us gifts
only you can use on purpose, right?
- Absolutely not.
Hey, Katie.
- Oh wow.
What a cool hat.
Yeah, I'll definitely use this.
- That looks great.
- Does it look good on me?
(rasping throat)
- No, that does not work for you.
You look awful.
- It feels great on my head.
And I'm gonna keep it.
- Wait a minute, let me see.
Oh God, no, it looks even worse when I can see it.
Look it has mesh on it.
That's not gonna protect you from the sun.
Don't you have lupus?
- I don't know why you'd bring that up.
Yeah, I have lupus.
- I have to take it back, I'm so bad at this.
- Rekha.
- Doll polish?
- Yeah, for your doll.
- I don't have a doll.
- Am I the only one with a doll?
- Uh-huh.
- None of you has a doll?
- We don't have dolls.
- It's the weirder thing to have a doll.
- I guess I have to take it back.
Grant...
- Now why would I want a replacement part for your glasses?
- If you're gonna be rude I'm just gonna take it back.
Katie, you're up again.
- Black Skin, White Masks: A Guide for only Black Men.
You clearly bought this for yourself.
- I thought you were interested in broadening your horizons.
- It says, "Only Black Men."
I'm not a black man, I can't even look at this.
(Rekha grunts)
- Grant...
- You made a donation in my name
to the Raphael Chestang Foundation.
- It is a really good foundation.
It finds every Raphael Chestang across the globe
and gives him financial independence.
- You donated to yourself.
- I can't help it if I'm the only Raphael Chestang.
That's the name of the foundation.
- Raph, this is ridiculous.
None of these gifts were actually for us.
- Yeah, you can buy stuff for yourself,
just don't call them gifts for us.
(sad music)
- I'm sorry guys.
I just grew up not having enough money to buy myself gifts.
So...
now that I have enough it's all I wanna do,
is buy myself gifts.
I just hope you can forgive me.
- Wow.
Shut up!
- Profound dumbass.
- Children, we don't have jobs.
- Hi, I'm Raphael from CollegeHumor.
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Aha.
You what?
You didn't.
I had to do the same thing.