(American patriotic song)
(bell rings)
(wailing)
- The map is ruined.
(crying)
It's ruined.
- Stop.
- I don't understand.
- What in the.
Move it on now.
Calm down.
Good Lord, calm down, alright?
Now remember, there's nothing to fear but fear itself.
- [In Unison] Oh.
- That's great.
- That's, that's.
- I feel better already.
Very reassuring.
Thank you, sir.
- I feel like, amazing.
- Eleanor, dear, I'm cold.
- Oh, I'll take you to the fireplace my dear.
Anything for family.
(laughter)
- You are the best cousin wife a president could ever have.
- Oh, you flatter me.
- Are you paralyzed?
- What?
Of course not.
This is just my super cool FDR chair.
See?
(yells)
That checks out, alright, not let's everybody sit down
and we'll have a nice chat by this fireplace.
Alright.
Our economy's fucked and I'm gonna fix it
through a complicated series of government programs
and public works.
New deal?
- [In Unison] New deal.
- Alright, banking act, bam, social security, bam.
Let's get rid of that nonsense gold standard, bam.
Let's hire people to build pretty post offices, bam.
Pay farmers not to farm, that way prices go up
and that's good 'cause economics.
- Bam?
- Bam.
Now could we please do something about the World War today?
- You Jewish?
- Uh.
- No, we're neutral, remember?
- Yeah yeah well could we at least sell weapons
to our buds on the side?
(suspenseful music)
- Great news, sir.
The economy has improved and you've been elected
to a second term.
- (Laughs) Well that's great, huh?
How about we talk about more new deal stuff?
It's my favorite topic.
Well maybe about unions and unemployment, oh,
that reminds me, we should probably
build up our military a bit.
Off to Hawaii.
- Then can we deal with civil rights?
- Civil what now?
- Civil rights.
- Civil rights, I really, oh look, it's Albert Einstein.
What are you doing here?
- Mr. President, I simply want to suggest
that we build an atomic bomb before the Germans do.
- Wow, what a horrible suggestion but hey,
they call you Albert Einstein for some reason.
- Because it's my name.
- You've been elected for a third term.
- FYI, that's a thing.
(explosion)
- Oh.
- Oh I'm sorry that happened to you.
Can we go to war now?
- Yes, Mr. President, we can go to war.
- Great.
But not you.
You're going on a camping trip.
- What?
You can't do this.
- Mm, oh yes I can.
Thanks to John Adams aliens edition act,
or did you forget about that?
- Mother fucker.
- That's right.
- Phew, what a shameful episode in our nation's history
but in better news, unemployment's at a record low
and the Depression is over.
- (Laughs) My new deal worked.
- And war, ah, can we always have war?
- Don't say that idea out loud.
Also, Franklin, you just won a fourth term
even though you're obviously dying.
- (Coughs) Oh dear sweet Eleanor,
just as long as I make it through this World War
we'll be just fine.
Wish your driving were just better.
- Sorry, sorry.
- Oh come what, isn't this over yet?
- Puny Hitler is no match
for frozen nightmare wasteland that is Russia.
You'll be done in a sec.
- Ha, victory is ours.
I can taste it.
Or no, I can smell it?
Oh no, I'm dead.
- Oo, I'm dead, too.
- Alright, what'd I miss?
- Truman, the war is almost over.
- I really want to finish it.
- I will never surrender.
- Although historians are split on whether
this was really his stance
or something we just made up to feel better.
- Feel better about what?
- Huh?
- What are those?
- Oh, only a horror you cannot imagine.
- Can. - Yep.
Where you going?
Wait, no no, I wasn't.
(explosion)
- Oh.
- I shouldn't but I'm gonna.
- I think one's enough.
Oh my.
- [In Unison] Shit.
- Christ.
I surrender.
- Boo yah.
- Pretty cool bombs you got there.
- Oh no.
Thanks a lot, Einstein.
- Oops.
(American patriotic music)