sorry for the English I'm French that's a disclaimer hmm how can a man that has
not grown up with the confidence and trusting male role models and mentors
sort of anti Uncle Jake person's only intellectual I'm saying this without
disrespect to these people how can they become a confident man and develop the
necessary man skills quote unquote okay it's interesting you can say man skills
in quotes yeah and I think we pretty much know what that means right yes like
what that means so so how do you do that you don't have any positive role model
around you that's like an uncle Jake which by the way most people don't have
an uncle Jake Yeah right that's not normal to have Uncle Jake most people
you got what you got and in this case he's saying he's got like the
intellectuals so you know oh my parents were college professors and they don't
have any of these skills and they sit around and talk about philosophy right
now I ended up I can talk about philosophy well but I can't fix my car
yeah or I can't defend myself yeah in a combat scenario in the streets so what
are you gonna do okay this is real simple go do things mmm go do things
lift start lifting weights learn how to deadlift learn how to squat that's
that's part about being a man right sure physically yeah physically strong learn
some jujitsu I recommend that probably could have
guessed that one yeah learning how to fight learning how to defend yourself I
just got asked us the other day kid came up to me he's like what should I do if I
get intimidated by other people and I or I don't know how to react when people
like get in my face I said do you train jujitsu no start training in jiu-jitsu
mm-hmm but then what I'm gonna fight everyone no no you don't have to because
you already know you can beat them up right now if they attack you yeah you
can beat them up but if they are just getting in your face and trying to Punk
you and you look at them and go hey if you want to do this let's do this but I
don't care yeah I know you can come to my gym I'll talk you out train some
jujitsu so we got that one run hike sprint climb build
things start building things rewire things do some plumbing these things are
not they're not impossible to do now it's gonna take you longer right like
I've rewired my parts of my house I've replumbed parts of my house we've
done all the plumbing in parts of my house now if you watch a skilled
electrician do what I'm doing it would literally take him 1/8 of the time maybe
1/4 of the time because or like the drywall over you're talking about
earlier a good drywaller they are like masters a good electrician masters a
good plumber they're smooth me it's gonna take a while sure so but but what
I'm saying is it's not impossible yeah it's not impossible to do mmm and it'll
take you more time but you're learning how to do it and that gives you what
does that give you it gives you the self-reliance right hey I can fix my
electrical outlet if I need to yeah so those are good things that work on your
car change your oil whatever do those things and and again those things like I
so I took electricity class in high school sure where we learned how to wire
rooms and everything is that what it's called elec it was called electricity
class I took electricity with Scotty was the teacher's name sure wait you called
him Scott everyone called him Scotty he was an older guy his name was Scotty we
all call him Scotty so Scotty but we we learned how to walk wire houses and all
that well I didn't remember any of that when I was now 20 years later or 15
years later I'm rewiring my kitchen where I which I ripped out of my house
okay so what did I do you know what I did
went down to Home Depot mmm I bought a book called electrical wiring and I've
read through it and I'd followed the directions
same thing with plumbing go down by a book called how to do plumbing and you
do it and it and the good thing about this stuff is it's very
satisfying to do that kind of work yeah it's very satisfying to do it and you
can over engineer things you make things super solid in your own house secure
yeah super yeah you can just kind of go the extra distance because it's your own
your own house so that's cool so those are all physical things and some kind of
knowledge things that you can start working on what the hardest thing to
overcome here is like a level of embarrassment yeah right how so like I
don't know anything about wiring oh yeah yeah you know I don't know I'm
embarrassed to say I don't know anything about wiring yeah
and so people don't want to say anything so they'd rather just say hey let's get
an electrician in here to figure this one out yeah
or hey I was good yeah so they're too embarrassed but if you have time do it
yourself yeah and don't be embarrassed about it be like hey I'm where I'm
rewiring my kitchen to have no idea what I'm doing yeah give me this book yeah
what do I need to get Oh give me some tools it's good to have good tools yeah
also so that's that's like I said those are things that you can do you know um
learn to shoot you know learn to shoot that's a good good skill to have also
read write read about history read about survival read about the world read about
human beings under duress read read books good books about good stuff about
challenges it's and then just like Mark and we're the warrior kid he doesn't
know his times tables yes to learn them you have to go learn all this stuff and
talk about you have to go learn and with with time your confidence is gonna grow
and from humility you'll grow into being more confident now you also say you
don't have any mentors or role models around you that's okay because those
mental mentors and role models are in books and you can find them you can I
just talked about david hackworth good mentor to have a met and you can
have a guy a guy wrote you a 1000 page book on how to lead and it's for you
that's pretty awesome beyond band of brothers my dick winners
mm-hmm guess what here's a guy that was that in
charge of the band of brothers in Normandy and he wrote a book for you to
learn how to lead so those are some examples and like I said most of the
books that we've covered on this bar many of the books that we cover on this
podcast give you a mentor better than anyone could possibly hope for
yeah so you can get it there but and we mostly cover war books but there's books
about all kinds of people that can be virtual mentors so read study do do
that's my advice on that one yeah that physically strong thing is a in my
opinion a big deal because especially what with you know
intellectual types in that kind of environment
yeah since that's not really a priority a lot of the time you tend to you know
how like you're not into something so you kind of shun it you know and I've
seen this I'm not saying all the time but you know sometimes the inner I don't
like takedowns so I'm not gonna do it yeah and then you think of all the
reasons why you don't need to do it and how guys focus true you know or whatever
so in an intellectual circle will say yeah those circles sometimes you'd be
like oh yeah those meatheads or whatever you know they just don't shun it or you
say about that issue
no yeah but they'll do that yeah and then there'll be these physically frail
people but since they they're in their mind smarter than everyone I feel like
they have the one up in there kind of there's an element of satisfaction there
yeah but at the end of the day you're physically weak there comes down and I
think most of the time I think I don't know but it seems like most of the time
they'll have these feelings like this guy asked right here like yeah man how
can I develop because I feel it yeah yeah unless they just want to be in
denial right that's what exactly a ban and also he'll and by the way the same
thing happens in the reverse right yeah guys it's just
meathead he shuns and and disrespects or disregards the intellectual side of this
and that is that is equally as bad because they're not they don't know
what's going on they're not knowledgeable they're not learning they
don't understand the world in a clear way so find the balance between those
two things yeah what's great is those things are
not mutually exclusive like you don't have to just be a meathead or just have
to be a bookworm right you can do both there's plenty of time in the day to do
both Leigha a smart ass guy with a big
deadlift that's a good thing I'm trying to be
that guy yeah not there yet but I'm not working
on it yeah and then that one level up which is the jujitsu part of it you do
think you are thinking about jujitsu combines the intellectual piece with the
physical piece yeah and in a way you can connect I'm not recommending this at all
in fact I'm against this but this is the nature of jujitsu you don't have to be
that like you don't have to have a big deadlift to dominate in GG first you
don't have to do any of that so you can essentially overcome the physical part
of it even though just is physical but it's a you don't have to you know
overcome a physical part of it for it to a point yeah yeah in everyday life I
mean you you're trying to you're trying to be the guy like if someone's better
than you at jujitsu training room it really bothers you are you talking about
everyone or no me you doesn't bother me well let's say it motivate I don't know
you know like like it doesn't bother me right right right I mean like for
instance I trained with Dean Lester all the time yeah he's better at me in
jujitsu right I everyday wanna train with him right so it doesn't bother it's
not bother but like what I know compels you like impels like no no maybe it does
like I hate it at the appends on what you mean by mother I hate it I do I hate
it and I love it and we were just joking about the other day because we got into
a little scrap yesterday you know kind of into training
and all of a sudden things got escalated and there was some shouting going on and
shouting shouting yeah yeah you know he was saying what he says and I was saying
what I say and but we had a you know we had a mutual truce at the end we
I think he didn't really want anymore I didn't really want anymore so we just
kind of let's let's laugh and call it good because you're rolling the dice
when I'm alone with Dean there's a dice roll happening because if he ends up in
a good position on me there's gonna be pain there's gonna be pain if I end up a
good position on him there's gonna be pain so I think both of us we got away a
little bit unscathed neither one of us got a really good position and we I got
back up to my feet and I and then we both kind of just had a mutual agreement
an unspoken agreement yeah we were done for the day
but the point there being is in almost like in this weird way you know how like
intellectually you can excel so you can kind of find it justifiable to avoid the
physical part of it it's almost like you could almost say the same thing about
jujitsu you could still be effective in defending yourself without be physically
strong necessarily but but my point is that there's a limitation to that oh
yeah ultimately if you you can be you can be unbelievable at jujitsu but if
you're really really weak and you go against someone that's really good at
jujitsu but there are a hell of a lot stronger than you yeah you're gonna have
some issues right yeah yeah I ideally and that's ultimately the main point is
just like how intellectually you can be you know a black belt and you can sort
in a way get away with not necessarily being and vice versa and then Judas is
like that third element you didn't sort of get away with not being super strong
but still be effective in drugs to you know I mean so yeah ideally just like
someone in the middle yeah get that balance here but being able to defend
yourself is a whole nother thing than being physically strong you know seems
obvious but when you go through life I think it's not because you get these
like big jack guys and it's like no one wants to mess with him well bro this
medium to small guy who knows jujitsu or knows these you know for real fighting
stuff is way more of a I was like dangerous but yes ultimately way more
dangerous than this big jack guy who can lift a lot for sure so it's that third
element that are kind of weird when you roll with somebody that's super jacked
and they don't know jujitsu yes and it's amazing
it's like amazing yeah you just think yourself how is this happening
yeah this is the magical power yeah because you look at a big jack guy your
human instincts tell you look out yeah he's gonna that person is stronger
than you you know watch out but when you know jujitsu yeah you don't
and eventually you realize you don't even have that anymore yeah you know
everyone you're looking at thinking wait you don't have whoa you don't have no
keen that is a fear yeah instinct of fear although you're
still you you you know my first thought when I look at someone's like do they
train or not yeah do they train or not if they train we may have issues this
could be a problem if they don't train no factor yeah no train no factor yeah
if they train may have a factor that's why I got to work out hard so I never be
strong yeah yeah you know you know cuz they might be coming to take my lunch
money maybe right don't want that no how's this last night literally last
night I didn't train last night I did not train last though we're a real world
experience so you know the five gallon jugs of water
you know those Bing you put in the water cooler or whatever so this like a little
refilling thing that I went to lay it was like I've told this story before no
there's another this happened last night so hazardous duty I know
water refilling of the joints yeah I do that
okay last night when I was doing now is refilling the jugs you know I go in
store I'm coming out walking to my truck to get the empty jugs to go to the
little thing as I'm walking to my truck a car pulls up right next to the water
filling thing mm-hmm there's a what's called a red box you know what yeah so
car pulls up a kid maybe 12 years old jumps out of the car he starts like it
was a yoked do it no normal kid whatever and from in the car this thing male
probably is dead someone maybe stepdad really and immediately the dad start to
yelling at him mmm just put it in the thing and just to the
point where I thought it was kind of joking where cuz all joking my daughter
like that you kind of like hell you'll do
sometimes yeah yeah you'll get up but in it sounded like a joke mmm when I was
like wow this guy's serious and the kid is like you could tell he was kind of
used to it no he was like I am I'm doing I'm trying
you know whatever whatever and they look on the whole parking lot could hear ya
and this is at nighttime secure setting so I'm walking to my truck I'm like bro
if I get to this place and this guy's still there
not even yell arms in there I'm gonna have to say something not be a dick I'll
be like hey don't talk to it like that I'm gonna try to solve this problem be
like a this kitten you know whatever I had this little thing before I knew
digits or anything like that I wouldn't have messed with it I would even beam
like big or whatever in strong I would have been like oh man that's yeah you
know but man I was like man I'm gonna do this so I grabbed a and they left so I
didn't get the opportunity but I'm just saying these are things that can happen
on varying levels every day yeah and if you're in intellectual tec-9 and I'm not
saying if you're an intellectual but if you don't have these elements of whether
it be skill or knowledge or whatever like those things mess with you you know
I can't yeah and when I figured out what jujitsu was when Master Chief Steve
Bailey choked me and he was he was an old man at the time probably three years
younger than I am and I was thinking myself this how'd
this guy just do this to me that's insane that's completely insane I need
to learn whatever he knows you teach to me whatever you know because I don't
want to feel that way ever brought and then you're training it like let's say
you train for five years for five years you're training not against people who
don't know you're training against people who know you know dangerous
people who do know like how to defend your shit and then you go in the real
world yeah you have this guy has no idea how much control you have over an
internship yeah I see yeah that's it's totally so yeah this this whole thing
were I mean year and that your thing about some guy was the guy was his
problem was like when people get in his face or whatever his problem wasn't
getting beat up it was when people get in your face and how you react in the
right feeling right off Brad that feeling gone yeah because you're right
your numbers are right because he said he wasn't scared of fighting he was
saying like I might get in trouble Hughes he didn't like how he felt
I felt like he should do something and he felt like a lamp basically when you
know that you can destroy someone then it doesn't matter you just think they're
an idiot yeah you beat them you get the strength and the skills and you actually
beat them on an intellectual level so it's like a day yeah yeah if you can get
those three intellectual psychological whatever mental physical and skill wise
defending yourself that's the lit the three right there
it's good stuff nots just just how hard you want to hit it really you want to
hit it ours I think so too you know it's very beneficial to hit it
hard