Have you noticed a change in your partner's behavior? Are you worried that
maybe he's lost some feelings for you or that maybe he doesn't love you like he
did before do you want things to go back to the way they were in the beginning
well then stay right here because in this video I'll explain the reasons why
men change and I'll tell you exactly what to do to turn things around and
have him wanting you and valuing you more than ever
don't go anywhere because we're starting right now hi everyone I'm dr. Antonio
Bravo and I'm a psychologist and a relationship coach this channel is all
about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy with
the people you love so if you're interested in making your love life the
best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and hit
the bell notification so you aren't missing anything okay let's talk about
why he changed and how did get him back like he was before and most importantly
make sure you watch until the end because I'm also going to tell you how
to prevent this from ever happening to you again so imagine the scenario you've
met a great guy he's smart and funny and attractive and very interested in you
he's texting you and calling you and telling you how much he likes you and
wants to get to know you maybe he's even told you that he knows that you're the
one and perhaps you're being a little bit careful maybe you're feeling
lukewarm about him you're open to the possibility of dating him but just
playing it cool and watching to see what he does but he just keeps doing all the
right things he's super sweet super attentive and making you feel like the
most important and the most beautiful person in the world and it feels
wonderful he's really great and so you start to let your guard down and you
start to also show him your attention and affection you let him know your
feelings for him too and for a while things are beautiful they're blissful
things are wonderful and you're really happy and then after a short time things
start to change and he's acting differently the guy who was always
blowing up your phone is now inconsistently responding
he no longer texts you first thing in the morning now instead of writing you
paragraphs he's barely giving you short one or two-word responses to your text
he's not calling you like he did before and
maybe he doesn't say I love you like he did before and because it's bothering
you so much you decide to bring it to his attention and ask him why he's
changed you talked to him and asked him what's wrong and he tells you everything
is ok you're just too sensitive stop worrying about it
or he tries to reassure you that nothing has changed in that he will try harder
but nothing changes he's still not showing you the attention and affection
that he did before and you know that something is different if you're like
most people you can't just forget about it instead you try to bring him closer
you become extra attentive and want to spend extra time with him trying to
rekindle in other words when you feel him getting distant you put more effort
into the relationship and you increase the level of attention and affection and
concern for him because of course you don't want to lose him and this is
actually making things worse for you and for him that's because you're the one
putting in all the energy and effort and you're becoming frustrated and bitter
and even resentful and then when you continue to complain things just get
more difficult between you it's like he sees you as the one who's always
complaining and nagging you'd think it would be the opposite but it's not
trying harder doesn't help so what do you do well stay with me here because
this is how you turn things around first I want you to remember that from a
very young age boys and men are brought up and socialized knowing that they are
the ones who must pursue and court the girls and women that they want to date
think about it boys are taught that they are supposed to show interest to ask
girls to dance to ask them for their number to ask them for a date and so on
this is something that has been ingrained in them in so many ways they
are brought up knowing that they are supposed to initiate and pursue and
besides being part of their socialization from an evolutionary
perspective the chase is also a primal response men are the hunters the ones
who pursue and compete with the other men for your attention and affection
it's ingrained into the deepest parts of the brain it's an evolutionary response
to millions of years of competing with other species for survival
so when a man is trying to win your affection when
man is trying to win your attention he is working so hard at this goal he is
putting in so much time so much effort trying to express his feelings in every
way imaginable and as a result of all of his effort and investment he begins to
really value you he begins to really like you
he is really wanting you that's because value is related to investment the fact
is that we like appreciate and value the things and people that we invest our
time energy and money into the more we invest in someone the more we like and
appreciate them as a result so while he's chasing and pursuing you your value
is super-high now what happens when he catches you what happens when you fall
for him well when you fall for him and you start to give back there's this
blissful period of time where you're both on equal grounds and things are
amazing things feel great both of you are putting the same effort and
investment into the relationship but if you are the type of person who gives all
of your heart if you are the person who jumps in with both feet and gives it
your all what happens to the effort and investment that he has to put in that's
when you notice that you are giving a hundred percent maybe a hundred and ten
percent effort but you notice that somehow he is trying less and less you
notice a change in his behavior despite the fact that you are putting in more
effort and effort so things get flip-flopped you are now the one who is
putting in all of the effort and he's sitting back and seeming to not even
appreciate or value you and most importantly he is no longer investing
into the relationship and things and people that we don't invest in are
somehow less valued so if you're the one doing all the investment the
relationship becomes lopsided and you'll be taken for granted and unappreciated
okay so now how do you fix it well you need to change your focus and do these
steps in this order and the order here is very important and then after the
steps I'll tell you how to prevent this from ever happening again so make sure
you stick around after the steps number one stop initiating communications this
is the first and probably the one that is most difficult because when you miss
someone it is hard to not reach out to that person because you
want to be connected and communicating but if you want a man to really miss you
and value you you must pull away so do not initiate calls or text to him and I
didn't say ignore him or stop communicating I'm saying stop being the
one that is always looking for him and starting communications in other words
you're not the one who's going to be starting the day with a good morning
call or text instead let him do it eventually he will recognize the
difference and wonder why you're suddenly gone silent on him let him feel
a little down and realize that he was happier when things were different your
silence will speak volumes and he will usually initiate contact again pretty
quickly oh and make him wait before you return his calls and texts I understand
the urge to respond back immediately especially if you've been waiting to
hear from him for a while but taking some time before responding to his
content sends the message that you are busy and not just sitting by your phone
waiting for him to reach out have patience and take your time before
responding doing so will certainly increase his yearning for you by the way
when he notices that things have changed with you he's going to bring it up but
this is very important you must refrain from having that discussion until the
time is right I know you badly want to talk about it with him but the timing of
this talk has to be right and you've got to have all the steps in place number
two let him invest in you people care more when they put more effort into
their relationships so let your partner invest in you and when he does he will
be increasing his feelings of love and appreciation for you and I'm not talking
about money I'm talking about allowing him to help you with things
small favors helping you complete a project at home helped was studying
things that take time and effort the more he invests the more he will like
you as a result I know it seems counterintuitive but trust me we
appreciate in value the things that we work hard for invest in each other
equally share the effort share the work share in the giving and receiving and
you will develop an amazing appreciation for each other it can be difficult for
some people to do this some people are just very agreeable and are constantly
putting the needs and desires of before their own if this is you be
careful this behavior is not sustainable and in time will cause you to resent
your partner number three prioritize your needs and put yourself
first sometimes people go out of their way to show the person they're dating
how much they like them they jump at every opportunity to talk to hang out to
text and usually that's a good thing but not if you're trying to raise your value
or trying to get him to want you more in this case you need to take the attention
off of him and put it back on yourself take care of you first pick up some
hobbies make and keep plans with your friends fill up your social calendar and
when he calls last minute to make plans oops sorry I have plans this will make
him prioritize and plan his time with you number four
become scarce now this can be difficult to do because when you like someone you
want to spend as much time with them as possible but this often backfires by
constantly being available you diminish your value so if he's taking you for
granted start being a little less available and
then even less until he hardly sees you at all
now you've effectively instigated the law of scarcity we all know this one
people want what they can't have things that are scarce are more valuable
if your time is scarce it has more value plus absence makes the heart grow fonder
and don't say out of sight out of mind he's going to be wondering about you let
him have the thoughts that you've had let him become the one worried about the
relationship number five be a little bit mysterious that means you don't have to
share every detail of your daily activities with him you don't need to
over explain every little thing that you're doing you want him to wonder to
develop intrigue it's okay if he's a little worried to remember before he won
your heart he was a bit anxious and worried that you might even reject him
so when you're going out to dinner with your parents tell him you're going out
to dinner you don't have to tell him who you're going with unless he asks and
when you have plans with your friends and he asked you on a date last minute
tell him you have plans with friends you don't have to go above and beyond to
make him feel at ease about what you're doing remember you want him to
appreciate you your time and you want him to remember
your value as a friend so let him wonder and if he needs to ask let him do that
too I can promise you this if he loves you doing these things will wake him up
and he will remember and appreciate what he has before it's too late and you're
over it if he cares these steps will get his attention and make him fly right but
how do you keep this from happening again well I wrote a meme that will help
you to remember and that is that relationships are not made in heaven
they come in individual kits that take time and effort to put together and it
takes both parties working together sometimes it's 5050 sometimes it's 60
and 40 and other times it's 40 and 60 but it's all about balancing each other
and supporting one another when needed healthy relationships requires sharing
the effort and the work that means sharing the decisions on choosing
restaurants to eat at and deciding on movies to see that means you share in
deciding who to spend time with or the music that you listen to in the car and
the TV shows that you watch together so instead of agreeing to watch football
with him all day ask him to binge watch a show that you
would both enjoy and when he loves it now you have something more in common
ask him to help you with everyday chores and taking care of your needs and when
he does he will be valuing you more and appreciating you more as a result so the
bottom line is that you have to allow him to invest his time his effort and
his energy if he wants to see you make him come to your side of the town let
him pick you up and I understand it can be difficult for some people to do this
some people are just very agreeable and work hard to be the perfect girlfriend
but it doesn't work if this is you be careful this behavior is not sustainable
and in time will cause you to be underappreciated and undervalued and
this is exactly what happened to Amber click here to see what happens when you
are too good or click here to learn what to do when he doesn't want to be in a
relationship I'll see you in the next video