So, we're gonna ask a couple of personal questions, going to dig deep, we're gonna get
into the ribs, spread things apart go right to the heart.
Alright, okay, number one, what's number one? What is something, Kwaku, that you always
wanted to do as a child but never, ever got to do it. If it was kiss Jennifer
Garner. Jennifer Garner? The cheek? Oh, you know...something as a kid you want to do.
Honestly, I had a pretty free childhood. We didn't have a lot of rules.
The biggest rule we had in our family was, like, don't eat meat.
You're saying as a child you accomplished everything you wanted to.
I did most of things that I wanted to do as a child. So, as a child you were never like
man, I would love to be an astronaut. You never said anything?
Oh! When I was a little kid I wanted to be a lion tamer. Okay have you done that?
I thought that was a job, but it was just not a job. This videos like eight minutes long we just wasted five.
Okay, if you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name and where would you go?
My name would be Butts McGee. You're gonna be fished out immediately.
All the assets from the CIA would snipe you from a long, long range. All the what?
Assets. I get Butts would be sniped by the assets. Kwaku is not married. Why? I don't know.
Let's ask you. What famous artist dead or alive would you want to paint your portrait?
Monae. Okay why? Because my face is too beautiful we would have to break it down into
oppressionistic values so that it would be a little bit less hard to realize how
beautiful I am. Oh, naturally I thought you just looked impressionistic, but I
saw you I was like well, I didn't know that they gave a heart.
Totally joking what famous artist dead or alive would you want to paint your
portrait probably not Monet. I would go with Degas. Yeah cause he like does all
of these ballerinas, like you know, in perfect position. I'm not a ballerina, but
it would be like a cool shot of me like flying through the air.
Ian used to do ballet, yeah. Yeah he did he did ballet with the Philadelphia
Ballet Company, and he had to stop because he jumped into the audience and
scissor kicked man in the jaw and then was sent to jail for ten years. Sounds about right.
Who is your first celebrity crush? Michelle Obama.
No I'm just kidding. My first celebrity crush
truly, truly, Shawn Johnson in the 2008 Beijing Olympics and with Nastia Liukin
as well. Both very attractive women and then moved up to Emma Stone. Emma Stone's pretty.
I thought Shawn Johnson's the redheaded snowboarder? That's Shawn White.
Oh! Yeah it's okay. Flying tomato? All right. Oh gosh!
You can't say that was literally his nickname, oh. I bet it was a dig at his...who speaks like that,
Jack Nicholson? You can't say that he calls himself that. Come on Kwaku get with the program.
The 1940s man. I feel like you should always be like
chewing a toothpick and flipping a nickel. Let's just see you know he's got...
Come to the carnival boys kettle corn and telescopes to see the planet Mars. My first celebrity crush
was Miranda Cosgrove from iCarly. No, from Drake and Josh. No, no, no I didn't really start liking girls till middle school.
In middle school I was like iCarly is so hot, so I fell in love with Miranda Cosgrove.
What is one thing you refuse to share? Oh many things
Mine's a good old slice of pizza from New York City. Oh, I think we're like
internal struggles. I'm not that deep. Answer the question. Underwear?
Describe the worst haircut you've ever had. I've always had pretty good hair, but there was a time where it was a
bowl and it just looked like I was that I was trying to be the Beatles and can't try to be The Beatles.
No that's--bowl cuts are like--it wasn't a bowl cut! It was just like
Biebs hair. I really want to see that; a picture of you--with Beiber hair yeah I'll
find it we'll throw it up. You see with this picture here of me with dreads
looked awful. Looked awesome. Terrible. Awesome. I don't know why I thought this was an acceptable--so
sick. Have you ever pooped your pants? I was a baby. I pooped my pants
when I was a grown man. Why? Well, when you're on a mission and you go eat at a
members home, and they just give you a lot of food sometimes that food may
not be the best for you, and you got about five miles to walk home. Fun fact
of a story about food. No the question is have you pooped your pants? Answer the question.
Will you release your tax returns? Have you pooped your pants? Answer the
question. So sister turn inside--have you pooped? I give up the story let's move on!
Alright cool. Which would be harder for you to give up coffee or alcohol? Probably--
I gave up coffee but never really drank alcohol, so. For me, it probably be alcohol.
Hmm. Doesn't taste very good. Imagine myself ulterior universe, you know.
Coffee's delicious. Um, I can see myself like going to like weird tailgates and just getting crazy.
I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy. What's the worst
job you've ever had I worked at a restaurant called... Wait! You can't just say
that! Oh sorry, and the restaurant, the management was terrible, they treated
their employees awfully, they made me wear like dress up fancy every day, they
were just unkind. The management, oh gosh! What board game
do you hate the most? All of them. I hate board games and card games so much.
Ticket to ride. All right, if you could get away with a crime would you? If yes, what
would it be? The crime would be distributing wealth to all the really really poor
people so there's no more poverty in the world, or overthrowing communist
governments so people can have religious freedom to enjoy their lives the way they
should. Mine would probably be--taking out--never mind I'm not going to answer that.
Have you ever saved someone's life? No. I have a good story about that. You literally saved someone's life from dying?
That's too long we'll do it a different episode. If you had one superpower what would it be and why ?
It would be able the ability to grow food wherever I want, so
we could grow a bunch of food, and no one would ever be starving.
I'm a lot more selfish, flight. Oh! Alright! Have you thrown up in a car? Probably. I have
thrown up in a car in sixth grade specifically, I threw up in a car on the
way back from our sister's basketball game I went...it was horrible
because I had this bouncing ball and it smelled terrible. It had some awful
chemical in it like triggered. It was a terrible, terrible thing. What was your
first CD and when did you get it? Oh I got a good one, Crash by Dave Matthews
Band early 2000s. My first CD was by the city harmonic, this really cool
Christian alternative rock band. Their music is so good.
Have you ever chased down an ice-cream truck as an adult? No! I'm an adult. Nope.
I get some Hagen Daz from Smith's; it's normal, it's fine.
Do you think dogs go to heaven? Of course! Some of them. Not the bad ones. The bad ones go to hell. I think tiny ones go to heaven.
All dogs got to--I think all animals go to heaven. I don't know. I think all go to heaven. Dogs go to heaven.
If a theme song played every time you entered a room what would it be?
Well, I'm too sexy for my shirt. Keep going. And probably--you want me to finish the song? I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy
for my shirt I'm just too sexy. Said just like that. Mine would be...the producer is
waving us around. What's going on dude? You want the show dad? We're just chatting here.
What insect do you wish would go completely extinct?
Oh mosquitoes, most definitely. They're just so freaking
annoying. I think we need butterflies. We need bees. No, no, which ones go extinct?
You're so positive get with the negative. No, no I'm saying we need butterflies, we need bees.
We'll take preying mantis'. A couple of cool ones, and the rest can just get out
of here. Ladybugs we will keep them. I'm all about this question. What skills do you
possess that could help you survive a zombie apocalypse? Mm-hmm what skills?
What skills do you possess? One I'm great with a machete. How do you know that?
That's disgusting. I'm kidding. I would definitely create several
Molotov cocktails, and I'm also pretty good with a rifle, so long range
shots. Just go to top the mountain, blow stuff up, kill the zombies, live forever,
replenish the earth we start--this was a very stupid episode, yes, but
none of you wanted to watch it, so that's cool so we made it. No one in the comment
section was like, you should do an episode like this, but we did it yeah no
one's ever, yeah. Subscribe, notifications, Twitter, Instagram, it's
Slide into his DM's as always. You're supposed to say Facebook. Yeah, okay Facebook
is also something that we also post things on, and the show--we feel like we're losing our minds.
I declare bankruptcy! I declare
bankruptcy!