Heya playa, if you're struggling to get your crush's attention or get them to like you
back there's probably one fatal mistake you're making so I wanna walk you through what that
is and how to stop doing it. For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and
every single week I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your
best self so if you want to learn and grow, hit the subscribe button and make sure to
click on the notification bell. This is something I wish I knew back in the day when I was talking
to girls, trying to ask them out, and trying to get them to like me. I kept making mistakes
and I just didn't really understand why things weren't working out. Why didn't girls text
me back? Why didn't they want to talk to me? Why didn't they want to go out with me? It's
easy to put the blame on basic things like your looks, or your height or your popularity
but I think that there's something you can actually work on improving but it's gonna
take you being aware of the fact that you're doing it. The number one thing that ruins
your chance with your crush is having a lack of confidence. Now that comes out in many
different ways. It isn't just a matter of being afraid to ask her out. There are multiple
levels and layers to it. I would say the first level of displaying a lack of confidence in
front of your crush is being inactive. It means whenever you see them you fail to make
eye contact with them, you never say hi, you never engage with them in any way. And I know,
this is a scary thing to do sometimes. Sometimes when they're walking with their friends or
they're busy in the hallway you don't really want to interrupt them. You feel like you're
going to be more of a burden than someone you actually want to talk to so you come up
with a multitude of reasons why it's just not the right time to do it. You might even
look away and not try to make eye contact because you don't want things to be awkward
if they actually look at you back. The point of that that you're missing though is that
when you do make eye contact with them when you do lock eyes and look at each other that's
the confidence that they want to see. They want to know that you're actually interested
in looking at them. But if you're pretending that you're busy and you're looking somewhere
else, they're going to eventually think that you're just not into them and they're gonna
stop looking at you which is the opposite of what you want to happen. This has happened
to me tons of times but I remember specifically the very first girl that I liked in high school
every single time I'd make eye contact with her on the bus she would look back at me but
I would nervously look away because I didn't know what to do next. Eventually, she stopped
looking at me and started to make other friends and talk to other people so I missed my chance
because I was too afraid. So how do you get past this wall of inactivity? Well, everything
is small steps so focus on these three key steps: make eye contact whenever you see them,
smile so you don't come off creepy just staring at them and say hello. I made a video in the
past breaking down eye contact and how to do it without being awkward, I'll link the
video up over here but basically focusing on doing that small step is going to keep
you active with your crush and as you do it more and more every time you see them, eventually
that's going to open the doorway for you to start a conversation with them which is gonna
make you a more active person than inactive. The second major mistake that a lot of people
make is downplaying their own voice and opinions whenever they're around their crush. You're
more afraid of what your crush is going to think of you rather than standing on your
own two feet and saying how you feel. Now what I said can come off kind of tricky because
you might interpret that to mean that you should tell your crush how you feel, just
be outspoken and let it out. But, I think instead of telling them how you feel, you
need to show them how you feel. When I talk about sharing how you feel, I mean in the
expression of how you interact with them, how you talk to them, how you joke with them,
how you flirt with them. It isn't just simply saying "I like you" and then leaving it at
that. Leaving it for your crush to figure out and interpret. Instead, it's all about
the little things that you do. For example, let's say you and your crush are having a
conversation and you feel strongly about something but you're afraid it might polarize the conversation.
It might make your crush feel like "wow, this person is challenging me in some kind of way".
That's exactly when you should voice your opinion! It's easy to not rock the boat. To
become docile and submissive and say basic things like "I don't really have an opinion
on that" or "I'm not really sure, what do you think?". In those situations, your crush
is not gonna look at you as someone who's confidently stating how they feel. Instead,
they're going to feel like you're just a follower, you're gonna do whatever they say because
you like them and you're making it obvious in the wrong kind of way. This is why a lot
of people end up in the friend zone. They're too afraid to display any kind of feelings
towards their crush so instead, they try to keep it neutral, act as a friend, act like
there are no feelings there because you don't want to let that person on to think that you
actually like them because if they discover that you like them you're gonna have to act
on it. And if you act on it, that might mean that they no longer want to be around you
so to avoid the idea of them not being in your life, you'll just take the easy road.
How do you break past this? Well, I think the simple solution is to just be expressive
whenever you feel something. For example, if your crush looks good that day, don't hesitate
to say "wow, you look really good today". If you really have strong feelings for your
crush, don't just outright tell them how you feel about them but let them know that you're
interested. Say something like "You know what, I'm interested in learning more about you.
How about we hang out sometime? How about we get to know each other better?". That's
gonna demonstrate confidence rather than just blurting out how you feel which is gonna make
things awkward. But here's where I want to challenge you because at the end of the day
you need to do what feels right for you. If you keep your feelings at bay, if you never
express them in any kind of way are you going to feel comfortable with that nagging feeling
deep down inside knowing I really like this person. I want to build something with them
but I'm just too nervous to do it. I truly think you're much better off taking a chance
here, learning from that experience even if it doesn't go the way that you want you still
will know that you were confident enough to go after the person that you like. And that's
something not a lot of people can say that they've done. You won't believe how many people
are sitting on their feelings not displaying their confidence and missing their chance
with their crush. Your crush is a person just like you. They want to find someone that understands
them and connects with them and can laugh with them, that they're attracted to. You
might be that person so don't throw it away out of fear. You have the confidence deep
within you, now it's time to unlock it and let it out there. I'm curious though, what
do you think? What's the thing that's actually holding you back from approaching and talking
to your crush? Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it. Also, I want to give
a special shout out to all my patrons and YouTube channel members. These are the people
that help support the channel plus if you want to talk to me every single month one-on-one
through Skype or through any kind of video chat platform you can do more by finding out
more about Patreon, I'll link it up over here. That's the best way to communicate with me
if you want to talk. Also, I'm gonna link up a video right over here which is going
to break down how to build confidence if that's something you need help with. On that note
guys, I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.