- How to honor your father and your mother
especially if they are not Christians or if they seem
to be unreasonable.
I want to share with you some of the practical things
that I had to do growing up.
And I was very fortunate to have godly parents.
I grew up with mom and dad and they have been married
all their life.
They've raised five children.
They were godly Christian examples
as well as they have raised us and disciplined us
and taught us the way of the Lord.
But I will be honest with you that going through
the teenage years I've had my little rebellious moments.
I didn't have a rebellious life but I had moments.
I had moments where I disagreed
I even had some moments where I dishonored
and disrespected them.
I've had moments I didn't see eye to eye
and I lived with them until I was married.
Now, this culturally goes against the culture where
you're typically supposed to move out of your parents house
by the time you hit 18, and I personally disagree with that
but that's just my personal preference because I believe
the Bible says leave your father and mother when you have
somebody to cleave, not when you turn 18.
And I think that from that age of 18 until 24
if you are taking college in your local area
and you are able to save some money, learn some life skills
and also develop, cultivate an adult relationship
with your parents, I think it's good and godly
and it works for good; it worked for me.
But I want to share with you some of the things that the Bible
teaches us on how children or those who live
with their parents should relate to their parents.
Now, if you come from the same background that I did
and you have the godly heritage,
I want you to be grateful to God even if your parents
are not perfect. You have to be grateful.
You have a head-start in life.
If your parents have shown you the way of truth,
the way of faith, you already have a head-start in life.
If you come from a background where your parents
are not Christians and they did not give you the example
or model the way of following Jesus for you,
you must understand that don't despair.
You will have the privilege of laying that foundation
for the next generation.
Now, we must understand that we live in a generation today
where authority is being despised, overall.
Police officers are called pigs, parents are called morons
presidents are called stupid.
Where pastors, any time that you have a disagreement with them
you call them false teachers.
It's a culture of dishonor. Culture honestly of rebellion
and it's an open door to witchcraft.
And as Christians we must embrace the culture of the Kingdom
and the culture of the Kingdom is the culture of honor.
Even Jesus Christ, He modeled that for us.
He showed us how to honor His heavenly Father
and He also showed us how to honor His earthly parents.
At the age of twelve, we know that He lingered at the temple
and He said, "I must be about My Father's will."
His parents came and they did not understand what that meant.
So they simply said, "Jesus, You gotta go back home with us."
And the Bible says that He served and then He submitted Himself
He submitted Himself to His parents.
And then we see at the age of thirty He launches into
His public ministry.
And so, I want to share with you three things about dishonor.
Like we see that Eli in the Bible
he had children who were not honoring.
They didn't honor him and they did not honor God
yet we know that their father was good.
We know Samuel had children and the Scripture says
his children did not walk in the ways of the Lord
even though their father was a prophet.
We know that Jesus had parents and His parents
were not necessarily like prophetic or apostolic.
They were regular Jewish parents and yet He honored them
and submitted Himself to them.
When you honor someone, it reveals more about your character
than their conduct.
A lot of times people say, "I can't honor because
the conduct of this person is not worthy of honor."
But you must understand honor reveals your character
more than it reveals the other person's conduct.
Wife, when you honor your husband you reveal more about
your character than your husband's conduct.
Children, when you honor your parents you reveal more about
your character than your parents' conduct.
Employees, when you honor your employer, your boss,
your teacher, you reveal more about your own character
than their conduct.
So that's the first thing.
The second thing is that dishonor does not help them.
People think that if I'm going to dishonor this person
I'm going to send this message to them that they are going to
learn to become honoring, more honorable.
In fact, dishonor does not help the person you are dishonoring.
It creates a bigger gap in your relationship
it will get you fired. It can get you kicked out of the house
it can put a wedge between you and your spouse
but it's not going to change the other person.
In fact, honor is the key that unlocks potential
in the other person.
Even if the other person is in the place of authority,
your honor has the power to unlock their potential
to unlock their blessing, their change; not dishonor but honor.
It does. I don't care how many excuses you can counter up
for dishonor. I don't care how many spiritual reasons
you have for dishonor, dishonor is destructive.
Dishonor will delay God's blessings in your future.
Let's read the promise. The promise is Ephesians 6:1-2
I want you to notice that the writer of Ephesians, Apostle Paul
he differentiates between obedience and honor.
He first starts out with saying,
"Children, obey your father and your mother"
and he gives us the reason why:
because it's the right thing to do.
You are under their roof, so you don't get kicked out.
Now the second thing he says is that
honor your father and your mother.
So obedience is the foundation honor is the key here.
Now let me surprise you.
Obeying your father and your mother does not have
a lot of rewards in fact, it's the right thing to do.
But honoring your father and your mother brings you a reward.
Now, if you want to receive the reward from God
you must embrace honor.
Honor is the attitude with which you obey your parents.
Honor is the attitude with which you do what they ask you to do.
It's the attitude by which you approach them.
It's your response to whatever actions that they are having or
words that they are saying; it's your reaction.
And sadly, many children, many young people
they forfeit their future because they obey their parents grudgingly
and they do not express any honor towards their parents.
And because they have no honor the Bible says that
if you honor you will live long and it will be well with you.
Now do the math. If you don't honor, it's going to be reversed.
And this is not just in the Old Testament,
it's also in the New Testament, Apostle Paul mentions that.
So the key is not to have a great authority
that you submit under.
The key is to have a great attitude towards the authority
that the Lord has given you.
So many people keep fishing, keep fishing for the right authority
you know like, "Oh, if my parents would be right",
but God does not hinge your blessing on your parents being right.
God does not say if you have the right authority
I will bless you.
God says if you have the right attitude with the authority
or toward the authority that you have, I will bless you.
And so, I want you to begin to exercise, adjust your attitude.
You know, it's possible to have a flawed authority
and David had toxic authority, in fact.
But I want you to notice that David honored flawed authority
in his life.
You know his father seemed to forget to invite David
to a dinner when Samuel was there
to anoint the next king of Israel.
His father seemed to not recognize David's great anointing
and he sends him back to the sheep.
His father doesn't send him into a military school
he sends him to run errands for his brothers and the captain.
And then David still honors him.
We see David becomes the armor-bearer and the musician
and he begins to serve in the palace
and at first everything is great.
Saul who happens to be his king, his employer
and his father-in-law, like king Saul occupied
occupied three positions in David's life.
At first Saul was great.
Saul started to promote David, he gave him his daughter.
Everything was good until David started to become more popular
and Saul became jealous and he started to actually become mad
and afraid of David.
It got to the point where he started to throw spears at David.
Now I want you to notice what David did.
When his relationship with his authority
who was his father-in-law, his king and his boss,
when that relationship became toxic and abusive--
come on, if somebody throws a spear in your face
it's an abusive relationship.
If somebody hits you, if somebody verbally abuses you
if somebody sexually abuses you, that relationship is horrible
and you have to do what David did; David fled.
David fled from abusive authority.
But I want you to notice something that I think
we all need to learn is David did not dishonor Saul.
Now there is a thin line here between you know
we need to hold those leaders responsible and accountable
tell the people that are overseeing them as well as
sometimes if there is sexual abuse or other abuse
you have to report it to the authority.
I'm not touching on that topic right now.
I'm addressing the issue of our heart posture.
That we don't allow bitterness and we don't allow hate
towards the authority especially when we are aware
of their flaws. If it's a flawed authority,
you know, learn to cover it with prayer
but if it's a toxic, abusive authority
you may have to distance yourself
even from your drunken father.
You may have to move out if your life is in danger.
You know, you have to distance yourself
but it doesn't mean that distancing is dishonor.
You can distance without dishonor.
If your parents are not believers and they are asking you
to do something that is totally against God's Word,
you can disobey them without dishonoring them.
Dishonor has to do with your heart posture
and it has to do with your attitude, not your actions.
Now, David honored Saul.
You really have to be a man after God's heart to be able to
find honor for such a psychopath, I mean like Saul.
I mean this guy was crazy in his head.
He had a mental problem, he had a spiritual problem
Saul had problems.
David one day cut a little bit of Saul's robe and
he could have killed him right there and then.
And surprisingly, God actually gave him a promise
that He will deliver David's enemy into David's hands
and David can do whatever he wants with that enemy
great opportunity, but David doesn't kill Saul.
He felt bad for cutting Saul's garment.
He was doing that to prove the point, "I don't want to hurt you,"
yet his heart condemned him because he ruined Saul's wardrobe
he ruined his garment.
And then when Saul died, he wept at his funeral.
He could have easily went and destroyed his whole family
and took on the kingdom as God promised him but
he waited for seven-and-a-half years for the elders to come
appoint him as the king over the whole Israel.
He honored the process. He honored the authority.
And that's why God brags about David.
And so, there was a shortcut through dishonor
but how long would David last if he would have to cut corners?
If you really want to lay a foundation for your future
it's good to go to college,
it's good to develop your skills and your potential
and your gifts, but the foundation of your success
according to the Bible is your attitude towards your parents.
Stop excusing your bad attitude because your parents
are not honorable. Are you honoring?
Because honor as I mentioned has to do with you than with them.
It deals with your character more than with their conduct.
Watch your reactions towards other people like your parents,
your employer, your teacher's actions because God is watching
not just for what they are doing,
He's also looking at how you are responding.
Let's pray.
Father, I pray for those people that are battling with this
right now.
They are going through a challenging time
in their relationship with their parents.
Maybe rebellion is surfacing
maybe there is misunderstanding, maybe there is conflict
could You come to their aid right now?
Precious Holy Spirit could You soften their hearts
make their heart whole again.
Restore their relationships.
May You be honored.
I pray for those that are in very challenging and
difficult cases that You will give them wisdom
Send them the right people
and lead them in the ways that glorify Your name
in Jesus' name, Amen.
Thank you for watching this video.
Hey, let me know how is your relationship with your parents?
Hey, let me know how was your relationship with your parents
when you were growing up if you are older already.
Let's create a discussion under the video below.
Until next time.
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