hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 10 habits that will ruin your
life now let's begin number one personal skewing do you take everything personally this bad habit
causes all kinds of problems it creates anger and insecurity it convinces you that the world
is your enemy but here's the truth most things have nothing to do with you if an insult flies
your way if someone cuts you off in traffic if a stranger slams a door in your face hey it's
not about you it's about them we're so wrapped up in our own thoughts we take everything personally
if something happens we assume we're the root cause but most people are equally preoccupied
with their own lives they've got their own thoughts and problems and chances are
you're the last thing on their mind even if they are thinking about you it's clouded
by a thousand other issues they may criticize you because they're insecure about themselves
they may honk at you because they've had a bad day it's not because you're driving too slowly
it only feels personal because you made it personal in a sense you're offending yourself
so just stop taking things personally when something bad happens remember it's not about you
number two the puppet master has someone ever tried to control your life how'd that make you
feel no one likes to be manipulated you expect other people to mind their own business but do
you hold yourself to the same standard this bad habit doesn't affect everyone but those who do it
do it often you try to control the people around you you get involved in their relationships you
influence their decisions you use guilt and shame to push your own agenda it may seem like you're
getting your way but you're doing more damage than you think for starters you're hurting your
relationships you're secretly manipulating the people that you care about and that may shatter
the trust they have in you to make matters worse you're hurting your relationship with yourself
you're so concentrated on other people's problems that you start neglecting your own
so leave this bad habit behind people can manage their own lives
and if they fail let them fail on their own terms if someone comes to you for advice well
that's different they're asking for help so feel free to express your opinion but don't
be a puppet master let people make their own choices while you focus on your own
number three emotional explosions do you lose control when you're angry many people do their
anger clouds their judgments and their emotions explode outward they yell they get violent but
when the dust finally settles they look back with regret so save yourself from this frustration
and disappointment don't let your anger get the best of you the next time something sets you off
keep your mouth shut before you can say anything just leave the room take three deep breaths and
think think about what you're feeling think about what it's worth think about the best way to handle
the situation just 10 brief seconds can stop you from making a terrible mistake and with a little
practice you could save yourself from a lifetime of regret number four blinding comparisons
you see an attractive person walking down the street as they pass you think to yourself
their life must be so much easier this bad habit can get you in a lot of trouble there are many
reasons why these comments are destructive but it really comes down to two big issues first
you're over simplifying the meaning of success you're assuming that one trait would solve all
of your problems since you don't have that one trait you're letting yourself off the hook it's
no different than making an excuse you're blaming your problems on something that you can't control
you're assuming that life is easier for them because they have something that you don't
ultimately you're undermining their success and making excuses for your failures alright
here's problem number two when you idealize a single trait you highlight your weaknesses
and you ignore all of your strengths you may be intelligent hard-working and ambitious
you may have a great sense of humor or personal style that makes you unique
yeah you may not be as good-looking as someone else but you are a combination of pros and cons
just like everyone else so don't waste your time wishing for something that you can't have instead
lean into the gifts that you do have those gifts will carry you toward a happy and fulfilling life
number five the dream life do you dream of being productive let's say you have a big
project due at the end of the week you daydream about how great the end product is going to be
but you spend so much time dreaming about it that you don't actually accomplish anything
many people make this mistake throughout their lives they have big dreams they fantasize about
their success but they never step toward their ambitions in real life it feels too
challenging too intimidating or too confusing you say i wouldn't even know where to start
so you never do every dream requires a lot of hard work if you don't have the passion to follow
through then dream about something else dream about something you want to accomplish and then
make that dream a reality number six destructive models who are your role models why do you look
up to them many people choose role models for the wrong reasons they admire people for their
power wealth or beauty they envy the life their role model lives but they pay no attention to
their work their passion and their sacrifices don't choose a role model out of jealousy
don't choose someone whose life you want to live a role model should inspire and motivate you
you should follow in their footsteps because their work lights a fire within you so think carefully
about your role models and reflect on why those people inspire you if at all the right role
models can put you on the path towards success the wrong ones can leave you standing in place
number seven breaking the bank how often do you buy something new shopping is one of the most
common bad habits almost everyone enjoys buying new things there are so many exciting products
in the world today things to make our lives easier things to display who we are things that make life
more fun but this bad habit creates a destructive craving a craving for the next best thing think
about the last time you bought something new you may have been excited for a couple of days
but then the excitement sort of faded and you started searching for something bigger and better
if you feed this craving it just gets stronger so change your relationship with shopping don't
buy new things whenever you feel like it use shopping as a reward for your hard work
hey it's okay to treat yourself every once in a while but make sure you're earning those rewards
and not shopping for the sake of shopping number eight flying overboard can you work too hard some
jobs are not worth hours and hours of your time some projects don't require days weeks or months
when you work too long or too hard you're doing more damage than you realize there's
a big difference between commitment and over commitment all right let's say you're creating
a schedule a committed person double checks their work they make sure they got everything and then
they move on an over committed person checks again and again and again they're so worried
they miss something that they never get anything done so work hard give it your all and then call
it quits because the longer you drag a project out the more likely you are to overthink you'll commit
too much time you'll second guess your decisions and you'll unravel all the progress that you made
you should quit while you're ahead if you know this is a problem for you then set boundaries
to keep you in line give yourself a time limit or create an artificial deadline and that way
you can try your hardest without going overboard number nine toxic patterns how do you manage your
anxious thoughts do you let them swirl inside your head negative thoughts can stick around for hours
days or even longer you may stuff them down hoping they'll disappear on their own but they won't
instead your brain will keep running in circles and those toxic patterns will ruin your life
you might stay up for hours at night on your phone because you have difficulty managing these
thoughts nighttime phone addiction can be a toxic pattern that wastes hours of each day all
so you can distract yourself from certain thought patterns luckily there's a better way to manage
your nerves don't let those thoughts take over your brain don't try to stuff them down instead
pour them out get those negative thoughts out of your head you may write them in a journal you may
vent to a friend you can even talk to yourself in the mirror whatever helps you remove negativity
from your brain as soon as they're outside your head you'll realize something those fears doubts
and worries aren't all that bad you'll realize how ridiculous they sound and you'll begin
moving forward number 10 material happiness what gives your life meaning it's not the car
you drive it's not the size of your house it's the people that love you support you and encourage you
it's the experiences that shape you and the passions that inspire you so don't think of your
life in terms of what you own don't put a dollar sign on your self-worth instead make an effort to
discover meaning elsewhere form new relationships expand your horizons dive deeper into your
interests money can buy you a lot of things but happiness isn't one of them hey thank you
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