Hey you guys.
Just finished a coaching call and something really interesting came up.
Has this ever happened to you where you consistently attract guys who are not at your level?
Well, let’s go up to my office.
I’m going to break down three reasons why this happens.
So I was on a coaching call and one of the women on the call brought up this point and
she said, “You know, I’m successful.
I make great money, I own my own place, I’ve got a job that I love, I’m on purpose, I
work out, I’m fit, and yet I can’t seem to meet a guy who has those same qualities.
Like all the guys that I attract, either they’re broke or they’re not doing a job that they
love or there’s something that’s not on par with their life.
We’re definitely not at the same level.”
And she goes, “It’s frustrating to me and I really want to attract somebody who’s
at my level.”
I said, “Well let me as you a question.
Is this a pattern?
Have you see this over and over and over again, attracting guys who are really not challenging
you, not taking you to a new level, guys who are beneath you so to speak?”
And she said, “Yeah, it’s a pattern and this is like constant for me.”
And I said, “Okay.
Let me as you a question.
I want you to be honest and really peel back the layers here, because any time that we
see a pattern in our life, it’s an opportunity to look at what’s the gain?
The only reason we have something recurring in our life is because we’re allowing it
and often there’s a gain, there’s a benefit, there’s a reward for actually attracting
that experience.
Even if on the surface, we say we don’t want it, there’s often an underground hidden
gain that we’re getting.
So let me ask you,” and I’m asking this woman, “What’s the gain of attracting
guys who are not at your level?”
And it’s silent for a while and then I hear this, “Oh…
my God.”
And I said, “What?
What’s the gain that you experience?”
And she goes, “It just dawned on me.
When I can actually turn some guy around or help him improve his life, right?
Help him become a better version of himself, then that actually validates my power, that
validates my worth, that validates who I am and a woman because I’ve helped them improve,
right?
Because my life is great.
If I can lift him up, then I get that extra boost of, ‘Wow, you are awesome, girl.
Look at what you did with this guy.’
If a guy comes in at my level, I actually don’t get that same experience, and there’s
great power in being able to influence someone else.
There’s great gain.”
She said, “That was the first one.”
She goes, “The second thing that dawned on me is that also keeps me safe because if
I’m technically higher value than a guy, then I’m less worried about him leaving
me because he needs me.
I’m actually a source of inspiration and support and growth for him.
But if a guy comes in at my level, now I might not be the same level of support and inspiration
for him, so what’s keeping him there?
So it’s actually more insecure for me to attract a guy who’s at my level.
It’s like it puts me in this place of insecurity versus a guy who’s below my level.
There’s a lot of security in that like he’s not going anywhere because he actually needs
me.”
And she said, “The third reason that just dawned on me, this third benefit or gain is
that I get the gain of actually being able to work hard at something.”
She goes, “One of my belief systems that drives me is that I have to work hard for
it to actually mean something and be valuable; that if it comes to me too easy, then it’s
not a lot of value and it’s not worth much.
I am a workhorse.
I’m used to working hard to getting things.
And so if the relationship is a lot of work and I can improve him, then it’s going to
be that much more valuable and worthy, but if a relationship’s easy, if a guy’s at
my level and it flows and it’s too easy, there’s part of me that gets shaken, like
this is too good to be true, like what’s wrong with this?”
And so I thought that was brilliant on her part, to peel back the layers and look at
this.
What’s the gain?
It validates her, it’s more secure for her, and it aligns with one of her core beliefs:
that she’s got to work hard to have success.
And so I said, “Okay.
What could you do to shift that?
What could be a new belief, a new thought, and a new idea?
A new affirmation that you could use to replace that?”
I said, “Are you ready to replace that?”
She said, “Hell yeah, I’m ready.
I’m tired of these old results.
I want to shift that right now.”
And so we gave her a new affirmation, and this is an affirmation that you can take.
If that’s been your pattern where you’re attracting guys who are not at your level,
ask yourself the question, “What’s the gain?
What am I gaining by experiencing this pattern?”
If you’re experiencing any negative pattern in your life, you can ask yourself, “What’s
the gain?
What benefits am I getting as a result of this?”
And then you can ask yourself, “Okay.
What do I want to replace it with?
If I want to release it, I can’t just release it and not put something else in its place,
right?”
Nature [INAUDIBLE 04:47] a vacuum so when you release something, you have to insert
a new idea or a new belief, what you’re attracting now.
And so the affirmation that we came up with is that, “I am so happy and grateful now
that I am easily attracting a high-quality, healthy man and we are inspiring each other
to become the best versions of ourself.”
Take that affirmation with you.
Use it in your own life to create new results for you and attract a man who is at your level.
Now, if you like this video, please share it with someone that you care about and pour
love into their life.
And I want to hear from you.
Post in the comment: what’s a pattern that you’ve been noticing in your life, a man
that you’ve been attracting?
What have you seen that you’re like, “You know what?
I want to release that and attract something new?”
What’s the pattern that you’ve been seeing showing up in your life?
And as always, there is a great resource that I’ve posted, a link in this video, that
can help you expand your heart and attract the relationship that you want in your life.
So click that link, claim that free gift, and make sure you’re subscribed so you can
be the first one to get the latest and greatest videos that come out.
Thanks so much for watching.
I’ll see you soon.