(bell dings)
- Hey everybody, today we're gonna talk about
anger in depression.
Why does it happen, and how can we make it stop?
(instrumental hip-hop music)
Before I get into that, make sure you're
subscribed to my channel, and you have your
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so when I upload a video, you hear about it.
Now I have a longer video about major depressive disorder.
If you wanna know how it's diagnosed, and all about that,
click the link in the description, and check out that video.
But for the sake of this video,
I'm gonna move into why I believe that we
struggle with anger when we also struggle with depression.
And Freud has this very famous quote where he says,
"Depression is anger in."
And he couldn't be more right.
That's why I believe we struggle with anger in depression.
Because if we are depressed, what that usually means
is we're talking terribly to ourselves all day,
almost every day, and all those negative thoughts
about how things are just shitty,
and they're always gonna be shitty,
and we're terrible, and nobody loves us,
and all that, is swirling in our brain, like, 24-7.
That's pretty terrible.
And so if we are feeding ourselves that negativity
because of our depression, if all our brain can produce
is just negative, nasty thoughts,
then all we're gonna be able to put out
are negative, nasty thoughts.
When people ask us how we're doing,
we can often feel like,
"Are you kidding me?
"I feel terrible, I've been feeling terrible forever.
"I've already told you."
And we can lash out, and be extremely irritable and angry
really quickly, because inside we just feel like shit.
And also, we talk about how depression
makes the things that we used to love
not enjoyable anymore.
So if you used to love horseback riding,
it's just not as exciting.
If we used to love listening to music,
nothing just sounds good.
If we were true foodies, and loved going to different
restaurants, everything just kind of tastes blah,
or it seems like way too much of an effort to do anything.
Depression takes away all the things
that used to bring us joy.
Therefore, what are we left with?
Frustration, irritability, and anger.
And I think anger in depression also exists
because if we aren't properly diagnosed,
let's say we haven't seen someone yet,
and we just keep thinking, what's going on,
what's wrong with us?
It can feel like we have nothing to blame for it.
That's why I always talk about how important it is
in any kind of recovery.
I've talked specifically in eating disorder recovery,
that we give it a different name,
and we externalize the problem.
Maybe you call your depression, you know,
the Debbie Downer.
"We don't like her, she's such a pain in the ass."
And we externalize it so that we have something to blame,
because I believe that anger in depression
truly comes out of us feeling like it's our problem,
and our fault, and we have no one else to blame.
It's all on me.
So of course I'm gonna feel terrible,
and when people wanna talk to me,
and I'm out in the world, I'm just not at my best.
Okay, enough about all that negative stuff.
Let's talk about how we stop it.
How do we get control of our anger and our depression?
And the first word of advice I have
is to not allow the negativity to take over
all of your brain space.
If you find your mind just completely swirling around
in all these nasty thoughts about how terrible of a person
we are, how nothing's gonna get better,
everything is just doom and gloom,
we're gonna have to fight back against it.
And I know that's hard, but we can do it.
With each thought, I want you track,
and I know I talk about this all the time,
but it's so important.
We do have control over our thoughts,
you guys, trust me.
Write down all the things that come up.
"I'm a loser.
"This is never gonna get better.
"This is all my fault."
And then I want you to argue back with facts.
I want you to do some research, maybe.
Know what causes depression, and that it has
nothing to do with you, it's not your fault.
It's your brain.
It's not producing enough of the feel-good hormones
that make us, just, ooh, feel so good.
We don't have that.
So how are we gonna feel that way
if we don't even have the ability to?
Argue back against each of those negative thoughts
so that we don't allow it to completely take over
all of our brain space.
And by doing this, we not only shut up that negative voice,
we can also practice love and compassion for ourselves.
Some understanding, some validation.
That's why doing research can actually be really helpful,
because we're, like, fact finding.
It's not just us trying to argue back with, like,
the positivity we simply cannot find.
Instead, we're gonna be detectives,
and we're gonna find why it's happening,
and we're gonna argue back with facts,
not just thoughts.
And as a side note, if you're trying this,
and you simply cannot help yourself,
you cannot stop the thoughts,
you feel like you're drowning in the symptoms,
that's when I recommend seeing a psychiatrist.
I know not everybody is comfortable with medication,
and that is completely fine.
Therapists cannot provide medication,
however, I would encourage you to be assessed
by a psychiatrist, and see if medication
could be right for you.
I find it to be really helpful for my patients
who feel like they're drowning in the symptoms.
It allows them to get their head above the water enough
that they can try the things I'm getting them to do,
like, use the new tools and techniques we're talking about.
Like this thought stopping.
If you feel like you can't do it,
medication might get you to a point where you can.
And the second way to make it stop
is to surround ourselves with positive people.
And I know this is hard, but I would encourage you to
send out a text to a friend, or a family member,
or someone who used to check in you,
but maybe they've stopped, because you've, like,
kind of put them off, and canceled plans last minute,
because you're just feeling so terribly.
Reach out to them.
Ask if they just wanna come over and watch a movie with you.
Make it very, very low maintenance.
Order food in.
Don't feel like you have to do anything
that's gonna require a lot of energy,
because we all know when we're depressed,
we feel like we can't do anything.
Make it very low maintenance so that you can
have them come over, you have someone around you
who is a positive influence, and that can sometimes
help lift our mood.
And also showering.
I know that sounds crazy, but it's such a simple task,
and I know it can feel like a lot when we're depressed,
but it can make us feel like a whole new person.
So if you find yourself in this situation,
go hop in that shower.
Come back in ten minutes and finish this video,
because it'll make you feel so much better.
If you have any thoughts of suicide,
if you have been trying to harm yourself,
you have a plan, you have the means, any of that,
please get yourself to a hospital.
Call 911, take yourself in.
Make sure that you keep yourself safe.
There's also the crisis text line.
If you're just feeling at wits end,
and at your worst, you can text to 741-741,
and start a conversation right now,
so you can get the support you need in the moment.
I'll also link in the description some of my videos
about a suicide safety plan, and also some other
suicide related videos, so that you know
there is support there when you need it.
And also you have your Kinions.
I have my whole chat available 24-7 on my website,
katimorton.com.
It isn't for those of us who are currently suicidal,
but it can give you a voice of reason
when you're just having a really, really shit day.
No that anger in depression is normal,
but we do have an ability to stop those nasty thoughts,
and overcome it, and feel better about ourselves
and our situation.
So I hope that you've found this video helpful,
but please, leave in the comments, let me know,
are there things that I missed?
Are there other ways that you helped dig yourself
out of that dark hole?
Let us know, because together, we are working towards
a healthy mind and a healthy body.
And I will see you next time.
Bye.
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