Here's what happens when you go silent on that narcissist.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert and on this channel and in these videos,
I actually teach you how to to shift that power dynamic with
the most toxic personality on the planet.
and if you're so ready to be on the offensive instead of the defensive,
then I invite you to subscribe to this channel and hit that notification bell.
Okay. So the narcissist loves to ghost you,
They do that to try to control you.
You are actually not really ghosting the narcissist.
I have to say when you are actually ghosting the narcissist
It’s you just actually going no contact
It's you actually… I would call it, self-preservation.
So, I want to kind of just distinguish that a little bit
because they do it to control you, to manipulate you,
to punish you, to be mean to you,
to degrade you, to actually, also get off on it.
They kind of think it's funny.
They get narcissistic supply from it,
their motivation behind it
is very different than your motivation behind it.
Let's just call it that.
So when you do it, when you go no contact,
it's really you in self-defense mode.
Self-preservation mode.
It’s you actually deciding it's finally time to get rid of the toxicity
and the fumes and toxic fumes in your life
so that you can start to heal so that you can actually start to move on
and by the way, as a negotiation expert, as a person,
I really focus, my time, my career,
my my energies, in helping you create strategy
for the actual negotiation process.
It is so much better if your mind is clearer
and you can start to put some distance between you and those triggers.
So I call it ghosting the narcissist in this particular video.
But I do want to say it's really more,
you going no contact.
But what happens is they start to blow up your phone.
They start to blow up any way that they can,
so they really want to get in touch with you as much as possible.
You know, they just start to flood you in any way that they can,
they cannot take that
you are now doing this to them.
So if they have a tendency to stalk you.
They might, they might do that
and I do want to say that
if you do feel like you're in danger
in any way, you should definitely call the police.
You should definitely get a restraining order.
If you have what it takes to get that.
Every area, every jurisdiction has their own requirements
for what you need for that.
So, I would encourage you to reach out to an attorney
or law enforcement or whoever you need to to find out
what the requirements are for that
It’s a little bit of an aside,
but I do need to say that if you feel like you're in danger.
But they may do that, if they have that tendency
or they may take another path,
it might start love-bombing you
and hoovering, you and you know,
because they're kind of like desperate, they get desperate.
To go back to the well of what worked,
you know, sometimes,
“oh, let me love bomb you”.
“Let me hoover you”
“let me go back to what was working in the first place”.
They definitely will be watching you. They become obsessed with watching you. To see what it is,
that you're doing. Because you are their form of oxygen food,
you know… supply to them is oxygen food,
its lifeblood. You are their possession.
It's not a love. So don't confuse it with that.
They own you. It's you belong to them.
It's like their toy or their their jar of jelly that belongs on their.
cabinet shelf. Don't confuse it with love or care or that,
they care about you as a person.
This is their thing.
That belongs to them and it's out of their control,
and so they're watching you.
So they may talk to the people around you,
they may try to talk to people (they think) know you.
They're going to try to show
that they can be near the people that are near to you
and create a relationship with the people that are near to you, to show that they're still around
or they may try to show that they're doing better than you or that they're still doing great,
or they may try to show that they've got a supply lined up, that can be perceived as better than you.
They may try to one-up you, try to make you jealous,
they may try to get you back
and if they try to get you back,
you know, with their hoovering
and you refuse that
then there's other things that happen
and I have a whole video on what happens when you refuse the Hoover.
You can definitely check that out if you'd like
and then it may degrade into, like, verbal abuse for refusing.
All of that, you know, attacking you for leaving
verbally abusing you
or attacking you
or guilting you
how could you do this, or you're horrible for doing this
all kinds of horrible things that they're going to say or do. The fact that you're no longer there,
which I always find really interesting. It's like,
you know, why would I, go back to that?
but okay, they literally just go insane sometimes,
or they might even, like, completely collapse.
Sometimes it eventually degrades down into a full-on collapse,
and we've seen that sometimes too.
They just completely go crazy
if things don't go the way that they want them to.
I mean they're basically, like two-year-olds
having a tantrum on the floor.
When things don't go their way, they just go insane.
So the thing I want you to know
though, is that they are the worst right before
they're ready to give up
and that actually means that you're getting somewhere.
I know that sounds crazy. But when you're negotiating with them,
when those things start to happen,
that actually means that you're now reconditioning them
into where you want to go
because they've conditioned you in a certain direction.
So you need to recondition them back into a different direction
and that means that the power dynamic is actually shifting
it means you're actually getting where you want to go,
when you are negotiating with them,
there's no magic wand.
This is a little bit of a long game, but that means you're actually getting where you want to go.
So, I just want you to not take the bait.
They're going to throw bait out, and they're going to say and do
whatever they can
that worked in the past to get you to take the bait
and I want you to remind yourself
that you're not going to take the bait.
So, I want you to comment below, “I won't take the bait”.
Okay, I won't take the bait. Yeah, and if you are negotiating and you haven't grabbed my free,
Crush My Negotiation Prep, Worksheet yet.
I want you to do that now.
Go to winmynegotiation.com,
grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet.
Get started there.
t's 15 pages. It's a free ebook.
No reason not to get it.
It's so good,
I have people email me and tell me
they've won their entire negotiations.
Just on my free stuff. Just go do that now.
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“I won't take the bait”
and remember that today's a great day
to start negotiating your best life.
I'm Rebecca Zung and I am so glad that you are here.
You can do this.
I promise you that
and I will definitely see you in the next video.