Today, if you don't know, today is National Quiet Day.
Sh!
That was the wrong response.
You're supposed to be quiet.
National Quiet Day is a day for us
to take a break from all the noise in the world.
OK?
That's why we're here today.
[LAUGHTER]
It's a great idea because there's
so much noise in the world.
There's so much commotion on the radio, on the internet,
on our phones, people who go to the movie theater
and open a Werther's Original behind you.
[LAUGHTER]
So I thought, instead of doing a monologue,
we would honor National Quiet Day by being quiet,
and sit in silence.
[LAUGHTER]
For the next couple of minutes, let's enjoy the quiet
and reflect on our lives.
Ready?
Let's all be quiet in three, two--
one quick thing before we start.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't mean whispering, I don't mean anything like, oh,
why is she doing this?
I don't-- nothing, just quiet.
I want it to be so quiet that you can hear a pin drop.
And I'm going to do it.
People say that and then they don't drop a pin.
So I'm going to do it.
[LAUGHTER]
Couldn't hear that.
[LAUGHTER]
I thought I would, but because you are being quiet--
and I appreciate that.
But now-- I don't know where it is.
[LAUGHTER]
That's dangerous.
Somebody's going to step on that.
[LAUGHTER]
[VACUUMING]
So while we're being quiet, I want
us to be quiet like-- quiet as a mouse.
Which is an expression-- quiet as a mouse.
But I don't know why they say that because mice aren't quiet.
When they're eating their little nuts or whatever mice eat.
[INAUDIBLE] You know?
There's other animals that are quiet.
There are-- like, a kitten.
When a kitten eats it's quiet.
Fish aren't exactly loud.
So you have-- any-- any-- animal.
Pick an animal that's your quiet animal and be quiet everybody.
Honestly, you're distracting me the way you're just
staring at me and laughing.
OK.
All right, so shh, OK.
Well, we're out of time.
All right, so.