In this video, we're going to talk about, How to Get Your Ex Back If He's Dating Someone
Else. This is not necessarily a lost cause. We've helped a lot of people go through this.
But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for, without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because
you of course, deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person that
you are. And if you agree with me, please do me a favor
by hitting that thumbs up button for this video. When you do that, it does send a message
to YouTube that this is a decent video that they might want to show to more people who
might be maybe in a similar situation, or might want to benefit from this video as well
too. So it's kind of paying it forward as well, too.
Also, in this video, we are talking about connecting with your ex on an emotional level.
We have broken this process down into what we call the Ex Solution Program. It goes through
advanced relational skills, navigating through your ex's five stages, all that sort of stuff.
I'll put a link to it down in the description box below this video, if you want to check
it out and see if it makes sense for you, if it resonates with you. And if it makes
sense for you and you think it's a good fit, you're more than welcome to sign up. If it's
not a good fit for you, then no worries, I'm not going to twist your arm.
But let's go ahead and get into this. So you and your ex broke up and he's gone on and
gotten into a rebound relationship with someone else. It can be a really tough place to be
in. Back when I was going through my breakups with my big ex, she did get into a relationship
with someone else as well too. I know that feeling. I know that punched in the gut feeling
you feel when you find out that she's with someone or he's with someone, or they're spending
time together or whatever's going on. It's terrible.
And I had a client awhile back. I wanted to make this video to share more client stories
with you, because that is something that I did want to do, as I mentioned a few videos
back. But I did have a client a while back, whose name was Natalie. And her and her boyfriend
broke up and they lived just down the street from one another, so she had to actually drive
by his house pretty much whenever she needed to go anywhere.
But one day she started to notice a strange car parked in front of his house. And it wasn't
too long before she started to realize that that was another woman's car. And it was really
tough for her to even come or go anywhere, because she was so agitated by the presence
of this car. It was almost like she was kind of bracing for impact when she'd start heading
down the street, because she wasn't sure if that car was going to be there, or if it wasn't
going to be there. And it was just a really hard experience for her, because she would
just have these images in her mind of her ex with someone else. I think she even actually
saw this other woman a few times. She never actually met her or interacted with her, but
she would see this person outside the house a few times and it really hard for her.
And so, I know that what you may instinctively feel as if you need to do, is to stop the
rebound relationship, to destroy it, to tear it down, to attack this other person, make
them look bad, get your ex to stop seeing them and all that sort of stuff. And this
is very common. I have been there myself, once again, Natalie was there herself, and
it's a really common thing for people to feel compelled to do. However, that's not really
the most powerful thing that you can do that you should be thinking about doing.
What you should ideally be thinking about doing is focusing on the connection that you
have between yourself and your ex. And as long as that is strong and improving and getting
better, then it is eventually going to overtake the connection that your ex is having with
this rebound person. And besides, when you think about it, you
don't want your ex to just get back together with you, because you have isolated them from
any other potential romantic prospects and they're just miserable and they have nothing
better to do, but to come crawling back over broken shards of glass to you and say, "Hey,
I thought I could do better, but I can't get a date anywhere else. So I'm just going to
have to settle for you." That, to me, seems like it kind of sucks. Probably doesn't seem
like a great outcome for you either. So, that's not what we want to do. We don't
want to just kind of attack, [inaudible 00:04:27] the rebound relationship and get them to fall
apart so that your ex comes crawling back over broken shards of glass to us. But we
want to actually be able to connect with our ex better than anyone else, so that your ex
intentionally chooses to be with you, because the connection is so strong that he might
be able to be in a relationship with this other person or maybe someone else, but he
is intentionally choosing to be with you because of the significant connection that both of
you have. And so that's why you want to focus in on those emotional connections between
the two of you. And that's what we had Natalie focus on. Yes,
she did have every instinct and inclination to focus in on the rebound, to micro-analyze
everything that they were doing or not doing, everything that they were apparently doing,
to read between the lines and speculate on, "Well, this happened, what does that mean?
This thing was posted on Facebook. What does that mean?" Again, that's not what's going
to help. What's going to help is you connecting with your ex, in terms of creating that strong
emotional connection, so they intentionally choose to be with you.
And so how do we do this? Well for a lot of people, it starts by recognizing that when
you micro-analyze your ex's rebound, you're actually creating more anxiety within yourself.
You're creating a sort of walking on eggshells, anxious, over-analytical sort of way of being.
And that's not going to come across well, it's not going to be conducive to a great
connection. So what you want to do is, you want to focus on, "Okay, what's the ideal
way of being that I could have that would allow my ex to connect with me and for us
to get close together?" Might be different for you, but for a lot of people, it's having
a really spacious, easygoing, calm, collected, fun. But also willing to drop in and have
some serious kinds of talks, sort of vibe, and that is what we want to focus on.
And so, when Natalie was starting to get too worked up over this rebound, I mean, she was
driving by his house, seeing her car every now and then, and it was really working her
up. She was reading between the lines, stressing out a lot and everything. We were like, "Okay,
let's take A step back. Let's chill out. Let's focus on your way of being. Let's give yourself
permission to not worry about this for a little while and just focus on you," and that's what
she did. She took a little bit of a break. She just
stayed home for a little bit, just took care of herself, focused on the self care, focused
on kind of re-centering herself to her own values, her own things that are important
to her in life. We have a whole exercise on all of that. And it really kind of transformed
the way that she brought herself to connecting with her ex. And it really improved the way
that the two of them were able to connect and bond and get close, moving forward. And
it even got to the point where he intentionally wanted to connect more and more and more with
her. And he intentionally ended things with the rebound because there wasn't that strong
connection. And you might be wondering, "Well, okay, what
if my ex and their rebound are really strongly connected themselves?" And that's where this
comes in. Most people don't put a lot of focused intentional effort on the connection that
they have with someone else. It's just sort of hit or miss; it's luck. That's why people
have these notions of chemistry. There's either chemistry or there's not chemistry. But when
you put your focus on actually developing the skills for connection; advanced relational
skills, you can intentionally create chemistry with pretty much anyone, except for someone
who really has polar opposite values of you, perhaps. I mean, I think you'd do it then,
but it's going to be a challenging sort of thing.
And so that's where you can really stand head and shoulders above most people, because most
people I'll be honest with you, aren't very effective at connecting with one another and
it's just kind of hit or miss. They're just kind of going through the motions. And I'll
be honest, social media is not helping us out a lot, it really is not. So if you can
just put a little bit of focused effort on this, you can most likely stand head and shoulders
above 99% of other people out there, give or take. And that's what Natalie did and that
is why her ex ended up breaking up with the rebound and actually got back together with
her. And okay, great, wonderful, but that's not
the end of the story. A few months later, maybe it was a year later, I don't remember.
We got an update from Natalie that she and her ex had actually gotten married. They look
really happy. I'm not so sure about the guy's tie, but they look really happy. And last
I've heard, they both went on to leave the United States and go travel to Africa, doing
some charity work, which was important for both of them. So they're actually out not
just back together in some sort of like, "Okay, great, we're back to the status quo or something,"
but they're actually out doing cool things together, traveling the world, living out
life dreams, creating unforgettable memories together with each other as a married couple.
Not just as people that are just hanging out, but they've actually gotten back together,
created this new life together, created this new family together in a certain sense, and
actually gone out to make an impact in the world.
And so that would have never been possible if she hadn't learned how to improve her way
of being and improve how she brings herself to the interactions. That's the main takeaway
I want you to take from this is that, getting back to go with your ex when they're in a
rebound relationship, when they're dating someone else, it's not about over-analyzing
that relationship or anything like that. It's really about how you're choosing to bring
yourself so that you can stand head and shoulders above anyone else when it comes to the connection
that the two of you have. Anyway, if you do want to learn more about
how you can create that connection with your ex, you might be a good fit for the Ex Solution
Program course. We have a link to it in the description box below this video. Check it
out. If it seems like it's a good fit for you, you're more than welcome to sign up.
If it's not a good fit for you, that's totally okay as well too. Once again, I'm not going
to twist your arm. But if you did like this video, please help
me out. Help me out by hitting that thumbs up button, sharing this video. It helps to
send a message to YouTube that this is a good video and that they might want to give this
channel a little bit of a lift. It would help me out a lot. And if you do want to learn
a little bit more about your ex's five emotional stages, we do have our video series on The
Five Stages Your Ex Goes Through, that is right over here. Or you might want to check
out this video right here. But thank you so much for watching. Please take care and I'll
talk to you next time.