HOOTS THE OWL: Listen up, everybody.
We're going to hear from a dude who is truly cool and
very fresh.
But he's got a problem that he wants to lay on us.
Come on in, Ernie, my man.
ERNIE: (SINGING) Excuse me, Mr. Hoots.
I hate to bug a busy bird.
But I want to learn the sax, and I need a helpful word.
I always get a silly squeak when I play the blues.
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKING]
HOOTS THE OWL: (SINGING) Ernie, keep your cool.
I'll teach you how to blow the sax.
I think I dig your problem.
It's rubber, and it quacks.
You'll never find the skill you seek till
you pay your dues.
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKING]
HOOTS THE OWL: You got to put down the duckie.
Put down the duckie.
Yeah, you got to leave the duck alone.
Whooo!
You got to put down the duckie.
Put down the duckie.
Put down the duckie if you want to play the saxophone.
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKING]
HOOTS THE OWL: You didn't hear a word I said.
You got to get it through your head.
Don't be a stubborn cluck.
Ernie, lay aside the duck.
I've learned a thing or two from years of
playing in a band.
It's hard to play a saxophone with something in your hand.
To be a fine musician, you're going to
have to face the facts.
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKING]
JOHN CANDY: (SINGING) Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: (SINGING) Put down the duckie.
JOHN CANDY: Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
Put down the duck.
You got to leave the duck alone.
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKING]
ANDREA MARTIN: You got to put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
ROBERT MACNEIL: Put down the duckie, if you want to play
the saxophone.
GLADYS KNIGHT: (SINGING) You got to put down the duckie.
THE PIPS: Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
MADELINE KAHN: (SINGING) Put down the duckie.
Yeah, you got to leave the duck alone.
Ohhh.
JOE WILLIAMS: (SINGING) Well, put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
JOE WILLIAMS: Put down that duckie.
PHIL DONAHUE: (SINGING) Put down the duckie if you want to
play the saxophone.
Scoobie-doobie-doobie.
LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO: (SINGING) Going to put down
the duckie.
Oh, yes.
You're going to put down the duckie.
Put down the duckie.
You're going to leave the duckie alone.
Oh, yes.
You're going to put down the duckie.
Put down that duckie.
Put down the duckie.
Oh, yes.
Put down the duckie if you want to play the saxophone.
[PLAYING TRUMPET]
HOOTS THE OWL: Don't have to put it a train.
Don't have to wash it down the drain.
Don't have to lock it in a drawer.
Don't have to shove it out the door.
Don't have to stuff it in your pocket or send
it flying in a rocket.
Don't have to get it out of town.
Ernie, put the quacker down.
CELIA CRUZ: (SINGING IN SPANISH)
(PLAYING VIOLIN)
ITZHAK PERLMAN: (SINGING) Put down that duckie.
GORDON JACKSON AND JEAN MARSH: (SINGING) Put down the duckie.
Yes, you've got to leave the duck alone.
PAUL SIMON: (SINGING) You've got to put down the duckie.
CELIA CRUZ: (SINGING IN SPANISH)
PAUL SIMON: You've got to put down the duckie if you want to
play the saxophone.
[SAXOPHONE SQUEAKING]
JEREMY IRONS: (SINGING) Come on.
Put down that duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
ANDREA MARTIN: Put down that duckie.
JEREMY IRONS: Duh-duh duckie.
DANNY DEVITO AND RHEA PERLMAN: (SINGING) Put down the duckie.
You got to leave the duck alone.
BARBARA WALTERS: (SINGING) You got to put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
BARBARA WALTERS: Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
GLADYS KNIGHT: Put down the duckie.
You got to leave the duck alone.
ERNIE: (SPEAKING NORMALLY) Gee, Hoots, you know, I really
love my duckie.
I can't bear to part with him.
HOOTS THE OWL: (SPEAKING NORMALLY) Well, you don't have
to lose your duck.
You can pick it up when you're finished.
ERNIE: I can?
HOOTS THE OWL: Yeah.
ERNIE: Oh, wow.
[PLAYING SAXOPHONE CLEARLY]
HOOTS THE OWL: (SINGING) You got to put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put it down.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie.
Yeah, you got to leave the duck alone.
Whooo!
Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down that duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Down.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie if you
want to play the saxophone.
One more time.
Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put it down.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie.
Yeah, you got to leave the duck alone.
[SCATTING]
Put down the duckie.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Put down the duckie.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put it down.
THE BIRDLAND PLAYERS: Down.
HOOTS THE OWL: Put down the duckie if you
want to play the saxophone.
Yeah.
ERNIE: (SPEAKING NORMALLY) Whew.
HOOTS THE OWL: (SPEAKING NORMALLY) Yeah.
ERNIE: Now can I pick up my duckie?
HOOTS THE OWL: By all means.
ERNIE: Oh, thank you.
[DUCK SQUEAKS]
HOOTS THE OWL: [LAUGHS]
ERNIE: Oh, duckie, I missed you so much.
[DUCK SQUEAKS]
ERNIE: Yes, me too.
[MAKES KISSING NOISES]
HOOTS THE OWL: Take care, Ernie, my man.
That is one cool cat.