Marguerita and i have been a couple and
business partners for almost 30 years
now and I remember the day I met her
like it was yesterday I was 19 years old
full of piss and vinegar and a hundred
percent struck by love at first sight
do you remember the day you met the love
of your life I bet there's some pretty
spicy stories in this audience it was a
beautiful day in September
you mean June no I mean September
aha no it was June it was a beautiful
day in June I was at a student
orientation meeting at Concordia
University and I felt like my future was
filled with nothing but opportunity
until I was reminded of an obstacle I
had deliberately created for myself one
called
a major lack of communication you see
Concordia is an english-speaking
University and I did not speak a word of
English needless to say I spent half a
day playing charades trying to get my
questions answered until another student
this one over here said in perfect
French Sri Lanka's daily translation I'm
bilingual can I help you
finally someone who could understand me
I caught myself in a full-on moment of
pure joy something I like to call a unit
of happiness and then my brain kicked in
and I thought are you kidding me why did
it take you so long to come to my
skew okay so first it wasn't half a day
it was like 20 minutes and second I was
really shy so you're lucky I said
anything at all that's true and don't
you ever forget who made the first move
what honey the first move here could
totally be debated jurist
but sure and here we are almost 30 years
later still in love and recognized
around the world as brand and business
trailblazers we've built two successful
businesses of our own and hundreds with
our clients and being a couple preneur
has taught us not only how to work well
together but how to put in the work
that's required to have a fulfilling
relationship we believe there's great
relationship wisdom in learning from
what makes a business thrive and over
the years we've noticed that some
business strategies when you apply them
to relationships create happier lives
now let's face it these three decades
together haven't always been filled with
rainbows and unicorns in fact we've
almost thrown in the towel on our
relationship three times mm for counting
this very morning in the dressing room
oh right
we've fallen into the trap of lacking
quality time together more often than we
can remember and if there's one thing
that business has taught us especially
in the realm of healthy boundaries it's
this couples should treat their
relationship like a million dollar
client think about it how hard is it to
cancel the dinner with a million dollar
client versus canceling one with your
significant other day after day we all
give our 300 percent at work so why
should it be any different for our
relationship the biggest challenges
couples face in addition to money that
we hear over and over again are kids
kids and children
no they're actually lack of
communication lack of time together and
lack of boundaries three doozies we are
very familiar with and are pretty sure
you're no stranger to them either now
are we experts at personal relationships
no but we are experts at what makes a
business grow and thrive and we've
discovered three simple yet pivotal
business strategies that help us bust
these challenges every single day and
without these oh I am certain we would
not be standing here together today the
first strategy is be brave together a
successful business always takes the
time to explore and manage risk
especially seeking out areas where
there's a lack of communication this
involves curiosity and a lot of tough
conversations as business partners we're
not afraid of tough conversations brave
conversations we have them a lot and we
take them into our personal lives all
the time
we've even planned our hypothetical
breakup on date night brave
conversations like asking for what you
need or saying no to the things you're
tolerating in your relationship offer
great rewards when we have the guts to
have them is there one brave
conversation that deep down you know you
need to have I remember having one six
years ago at a time when we were living
an ideal life in downtown Vancouver
taking 16 weeks off a year and running a
very successful branding business life
was good very good
except it wasn't so one morning I
gathered my courage and dropped a bomb
on our entire life I shared how
unfulfilled I felt in our business and
that I was really feeling a calling to
work with horses
horses what I was praying she was
talking about horsepower in a motorcycle
engine here but somehow I doubted that
so I listened I knew this conversation
could break us or bring us closer
together I knew it had the power to
shift our lives a hundred and eighty
degrees and boy that it did we talked
and talked about my unhappiness and my
readiness to walk away from it all to
pursue my true calling after many
sleepless nights and long puffy eyed
days we finally came up with a scary but
inspiring new gameplan one that had us
move out of our urban 700 square foot
cocoon and into the unchartered
territory of a five acre equestrian
estate where we now incorporate the
deeply transformational work of
partnering with horses to overcome
limiting beliefs blind spots and
obstacles to success and by embracing a
tough conversation today we both get to
do what we love and the best part is I
didn't even realize how much I was gonna
love being out of the city I mean
picture more treating my funky shoes for
dumb boots
shoveling manure my friends certainly
couldn't see it but nope it was just an
other totally unexpected increase to our
units of happiness the second strategy
is flow together successful business
owners understand that a lack of time
together can create a divide using
yearly quarterly weekly even daily
meeting rhythms to plan and set goals
towards a common vision helps everyone
thrive and play their part in the flow
of success now this concept of rhythms
can also be implemented in a personal
relationship we naturally have different
rhythms as human beings you are an early
riser for am club
no me no thanks and just to show how
rhythms are ingrained in us even though
I force myself to wake up early everyday
late at night I still talk her ear off
while she's clearly out of commission so
to thrive individually and together we
need a plan a plan that flows with our
natural rhythms and allows time for
ourselves and for each other
is there one thing you could do to
create more quality time for your
relationship we plan our spontaneous
time together
I know planned spontaneity yes we
actually carve out blocks of time where
we know we'll be doing something
together for instance planning another
breakup on date night why not so the
activity is spontaneous but the time is
planned because you see you're never
gonna find a block of spontaneous time
in your couch cushions if you want
spontaneity you've got a plan for it
totally counterintuitive
I know but by planning it we're clear on
our commitments together and can enjoy
our personal time guilt-free more
glorious units of happiness the third
strategy is grow together as business
owners one of the biggest things that's
prevented us from growing together is a
lack of boundaries yeah isn't that a fun
one no and through all of our years of
business coaching we've learned to apply
a lead follow alternating leadership
style to how we work as business
partners and as a couple so when one of
us takes the lead the other supports the
leader in that endeavor right Isabelle
of course
mmm-hmm the key is to be crystal clear
on which areas you each lead as a couple
in love and work we're in danger of
stepping on each other's feet all the
time
the solution emotional safety boots in
the form of clear boundaries we've
learned that clear boundaries bring back
the happy do you need more clear
boundaries in your relationship we
ensure to assign a leader for every
single task that's on our plates
romantic right but it works
so whether it's as simple as calling the
plumber or as intricate as planning our
30th anniversary there is no confusion
as to who's in charge of what and if one
of us even tries to cross the boundary
line all we have to say is get out of my
kitchen and believe me that alone has
increased our units of happiness be
brave together flow together and grow
together have been and continue to be
why we thrive in our business and our
couple and in all of our relationships
now in business the success of these
strategies is measured by performance
and profit but how do we measure them in
our personal lives it's simple in units
of happiness so if you're looking for
more happy in your life remember to
treat your relationship like a million
dollar client and a great place to start
is by being brave and by having that one
tough conversation now is all of this
easy no will it require a commitment to
making your relationship work you bet it
will could it reduce the amount of
fights in your life possibly can it
better your relationships and your level
of happiness that's the promise
you