as a software developer one of the things that has helped me excel really quickly in my career is
having great mentors and this is something that i do not take for granted is having people who i can
rely on when it comes to my career when it comes to advice around it and even technical advice but
this brings up the question and that many of you ask me is how do you find a mentor how did i find
my mentors today i'm going to be sharing with you some of my tips and tricks around finding
and building that relationship with a mentor and not just any mentor but a mentor that you
really look up to that you really truly want to emulate their career that can help you build yours
and you know me i'm a data person i like to know around uh statistics and numbers so i researched
how important are mentors to other people to see if there was a survey done on this and there was
and it's actually really interesting 30 say it's very important to have a mentor but a total of 47
almost 50 percent of people say it's important for them to have a mentor or they want to have
a mentor that's a huge percentage of people who recognize and understand the importance
of mentorship but what's more interesting is 76 of people consider mentors important but less
than half have one right now so why is that we all know mentorship is so important but why do
so few of us have it well in my experience one of the main reasons is because people are scared
to ask in the first place a lot of times you are too scared to ask will you be my mentor or can i
take you out for coffee and that fear i think it comes from the fear of rejection fear of someone
saying you know what no i don't want to be your mentor or i am too busy but when you really take
a step back and look at it is it really that bad okay let's get into my thoughts around this
and on the note of mentorship and forming relationships i really wanted to share with
you about a conference i am so excited to be part of which is the interact conference 2022.
it is happening october 25th it is virtual and the best part it's completely free i was part of
their last conference and honestly hands down it was the best conference i've ever attended
listening to some incredible industry engineering leaders was so inspiring and
getting to interact with them getting to ask questions be part of this community it was
one of the best opportunities i've had to develop relationships with people for potential
mentorships and i think you can really benefit from it the same way here are some of the panel
topics that will be covered connecting your dev team's work to the business bottom line
being a leader in uncertain times how to treat devs like human beings
and the science of building products for emerging industries and yes i mentioned learning and
listening from some of the top engineering leaders some of them include carolyn voe who is partner
and head of engineering at oliver wyman james stanier the director of engineering at shopify
and rukmini reddy who is the svp of platform engineering at slack and more make sure to check
their website for more announcements of upcoming speakers okay so we spoke a little bit about the
speakers but some other top companies who will be attending include stripe shopify slag and more one
of my favorite things about this is it gives you access to the dev interrupted discord channel and
this is a discord channel that is filled with engineering leaders who bounce ideas off each
other who have questions for each other and it's a great way to really connect with other leaders
in the industry last thing that needs to be mentioned there is giveaway and prizes so i need
it's free it's virtual there's giveaways and prizes i don't think i need to say more anyways
make sure to join me there there's a live chat to make sure to say hi to me the day of the event
and here is some more information about it it is an all-day event and yes it will be recorded
but make sure not to miss the real thing as there will be so much opportunities for
networking and virtually meeting other people also don't forget to tell your colleagues and
your friends this event is for everyone it's completely free so make sure to register
i linked it down below go sign up today
the first thing that you really need to ask yourself is why why do you want a mentor and this
is really important because there can be so many reasons why you want to mentor whether it be for
to help you with learning something new for example you are learning a new programming
language and you need the support that a mentor can bring or maybe it's for the purpose of a
career you really want that support and guidance when it comes to your career what are the best
steps to take what are the best companies to go to there is so many different reasons that people get
into relationships get into relationships yeah i guess it is a relationship with a mentor and it's
really important to establish the why as to why you are getting into a relationship with a mentor
because that will really determine or dictate as to how you approach them in the first place
and your why can change over time too so what you have for a why today don't feel as though you have
to stay committed or set onto it it can change as you continue to grow as well but when you
initially reach out to a mentor it's important to have the why why do you want to meet with
them why do you want to build this relationship with this person after you have established why
why it is that you want to mentor in the first place the next step is to reach out to them and
i'm going to add on screen here a little snippet that really helped me when i'm
looking to reach out to someone and connect with them and maybe build a mentorship relationship
so pause here and you can screenshot this or save this for next time you're reaching out to a mentor
okay now that we got that part out you have the why you have reached out to them now how do you go
about building this relationship how do you just straight up be like be my mentor this is what i
want from you no it has to be a two-way street and the best way to do that is it takes time it needs
to develop over time in an organic way and on that note of building a relationship it's something
that takes time it doesn't happen overnight and the reality is you don't want to start reaching
out to mentors or contacts when you actually need something or you really need their advice you want
to build that relationship prior because there will come a time where you will need their help
where you will need their advice and rather than doing it right when you actually need the advice
do it ahead of time and what that will do is we'll build a genuine relationship they're not going to
be thinking oh this person's just reaching out to me because they need something again or oh
here goes so and so needing something no you're building that relationship over time and that
is one of the biggest tips of pieces of advice that was given to me and that i always do is
look at your future self how could this help you in the future and obviously you don't want
to build relationships just based on what they can do for you you want to build a two-way street but
don't just think about the now don't look so narrow think so narrow-minded think about your
future self and how what you are doing today the relationships you're doing today will help you in
the long run and on that note of relationships developing naturally and organically over time
i did a little bit more research around this so i searched up how did mentee and mentor
relationship start and it's really interesting i'll pull up a graph here and it says 61
of the relationships developed naturally which i think is really interesting because it doesn't
have to be one of those things where you come right out and say hey can you be my mentor
no it can start out with that i'm interested in your career path i want to emulate your career hey
i saw you worked x y and z i saw you work here i want to work there or having this organic approach
will really make it more of a two-way street to the mentor versus just hey can you be my mentor
like if that's a very take take take mentality and i think it needs to be more of a two-way street
and on that note i think it goes without saying well i think it goes without saying but yet so
many people don't do this is after you have a call with someone or even if you meet them in person
take time to send them a thank you note it goes such a long way and it's such an easy thing to do
yet so many people take it for granted how far it goes i know for myself if i meet with someone or
have a coffee with someone if they take the time to actually send a thank you note it makes me feel
so good like wow they really appreciated my time i went out of my day to speak to them and they're
acknowledging that so send a thank you note and send it in a timely manner send it right after
or the same day that you meet with that person and for those of you who are worried about constantly
meeting or i'm not saying you have to meet every week or every second day actually according
to this survey here they surveyed over 3 000 individuals who are incorporate around mentorship
and the frequency of in-person meetings is less than once per month so it's not as though you have
to be meeting on a weekly basis but the important thing is keeping the communication open keeping
the relationship flowing by letting them know what you are up to or asking different questions
and all that notice i don't think you know another thing that's really important is to maintain the
relationship it's not one of those things that you go for coffee once send a thank you note and
expect them to do the heavy lifting no you were the one who reached out to get this mentorship
to form this relationship so you need to put in a little bit of work and that needs to be on an
ongoing basis one of the things that i like to do a lot for maintaining or nurturing a
new relationship is i will actually some of the tips that they gave me throughout our coffee or
our initial talk i will of course put them into play and then let them know when i have done so so
for example if someone says oh you should really read this article or check out this resource i
actually will do it i mean that's the whole point of this mentorship is two-way kind of mentorship
and when i do do it when i do read these articles or whatever it is the tip they have given me
i'll send a little note to them i'll say hey so-and-so i took time read this article here
are a few thoughts i have on that and what it does is it keeps the dialogue open and
the conversation moving and it really makes the person who you are building that relationship
up with to mentor you feel like hey so-and-so tiffany or whoever it is is actually taking
what i'm saying and listening to it they find it valuable and that makes it almost feel like it's
worth their time to meet with you more and i've been talking a lot about this two-way
relationship but what exactly do i mean by it at the end of the day mentorship can become a
life-changing opportunity i know because it's completely changed my life in the sense of
really helping me establish a sense of career a sense of direction and i really think he can
do the same for you it's it's takes time and it takes effort but with both of those
things combined like anything you will find a great mentor and can really shape your career
thank you all for watching if you haven't already make sure to hit that subscribe button for more
tech coding career related content also make sure to join me at the interact conference
it's completely free to sign up you should sign up today because there's a lot of great
announcements that get made a lot of great things to keep in track with and i don't
want to miss seeing you there link it down my bio and i will see you all soon thanks everyone
you