-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
[football game playing on TV]
-Hey guys. The food's getting cold.
Dinner's ready.
-Go, go! -Guys, the food's getting cold.
[all cheering loudly]
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-We thank you for this food at our table.
We thank you for everyone sitting around this table.
And we'd like to thank you for--
-You're welcome. -Peace.
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-You know, isn't it funny?
This one meal could feed a whole village in China.
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-Happy Thanksgiving! -Merry Christ...ma...
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-Ah, so, who's doing dishes?
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
[door opens]
-Ho, ho, ho! -Hi, happy Thanksgiving.
-Son of a b--
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-Dad, Mom... I'm gay.
[both gasp]
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-Oh hey, Ryan, did you get the yams?
-The yams? Oh, yams.
I thought you said "ironing board."
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-Dad, Dad... I'm straight.
[both gasp]
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
[gun cocks]
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-Dad, I'm Mom.
[both gasp]
-Things that ruin Thanksgiving
-So, bad news.
We both lost our jobs,
so there won't be any Thanksgiving food this year.
-No food?
How can there be no food? It's Thanksgiving.
-Well, also, you're adopted.
-What? No, that can't be true.
-Oh no, no, it's okay. We're getting a divorce anyway.
-That doesn't even make sense.
Why are you just telling me this right now?
-But you know what? Let's just go enjoy the day
and watch some good old-fashioned Thanksgiving football.
-You guys don't even watch football.
How am I supposed to enjoy this day
when I know all this is happening?
-You're not watching it, silly.
You're playing.
-What?
-Things that ruin Thanksgi-- Teehee!
-So what did you guys think about my Thanksgiving video?
What? [chuckles nervously]
[guns cock]
-(Justin Bieber) Ba--
[laughter]
-So what did you guys think about my Thanksgiving video
on Thanksgiving?
[laughter]
[both gasp]
-Oh wait, sorry, I was too late.
-Yeah! [laughter]
-'Kay, let's just go and enjoy the day
and-- watch some good old Thanksgiving--
-That's good. "Good old-fashioned Thanksgiving--"
-Calling it right now, this next idea is an extremely dumb idea.
-What?
-Let's do it.
-Take two.
What?
[laughter]