- What's up guys, I'm Machine Gun Kelly
and you are watching Thirst Tweets right here on BuzzFeed.
(gentle upbeat music)
All right, the first one says,
Colson Baker has the most beautiful smile.
Okay, well.
(chuckles) Thanks.
I don't know.
I cover up my smile up whenever I start to smile.
(chuckles)
Yeah, sex is cool and all,
but have you heard Machine Gun Kelly laugh?
(laughing)
Oh my God, dude. I don't.
Shut up, dude.
Hey, oh my friend shouldn't be allowed to listen to this.
It's only awkward because I hate my smile.
I hate my laugh.
I don't even really have much of a laugh.
I just have like a mute laugh.
It's hard for me to receive compliments on things
that I'm like, I don't feel you, but thank you.
Machine Gun Kelly, I just wanna let you know
that I am free this Sunday to go on a date.
Just let me know if you're free Sunday
'cause I'm free and would like to take you on a date.
I'm locked in already right now.
No dates for me.
Probably ever.
My type is exactly blonde, 6'4", covered in tattoos,
gangly.
Arr.
Resembles a stray golden retriever.
Could ruin my life. True.
Colson Baker. That's me.
AKA Machine Gun Kelly. Also me.
It's Machine Gun Kelly. Okay?
Thank you so much, Libbia.
Which also sounds like,
another word.
Every time I unlock my phone,
I see that pick up my Zaddy Machine Gun Kelly
and fall even more in love.
Shank you.
If Machine Gun Kelly told me to break my own
(chuckling) arm,
I 100% would do, that.
Let's play a game of Simon says up in this (bleep)
I'll do anything for you.
I'm actually down with that mentality.
I kind of like someone who's down to die for love.
Life goal.
Let Machine Gun Kelly spit (chuckle) on me. Jesus Christ.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
You're funny. It was well said.
Funny (bleep) man.
I would let Machine Gun Kelly suck my toes maybe.
Arr.
Like I said, I'm only sucking one pairs of toes.
I'm trying to like Machine Gun Kelly's body so much
his tattoos fade away.
That's a lot of licking.
Good luck.
I wish Machine Gun Kelly didn't look like my ex.
It'd make it a lot easier for me to masturbate
(chuckling) to his pictures.
(foot stomping)
Okay, that's really (bleep) funny.
Machine Gun Kelly makes me cream.
(chuckling)
Could be cream cheese. We don't know.
Don't use the word cream.
It's like moist. It makes me feel wet.
(laughing)
When Machine Gun Kelly said,
it's not even a question whether or not
I'm the trillest every (bleep) is pressing on me
to get some cum on their acrylics.
I felt that 'cause it's true.
It's a pretty out-of-pocket line.
Good wordplay.
Places I'd like to be right now,
Tahiti, a bank vault, on Machine Gun Kelly's (bleep).
It's a good taste. Tahiti, cool.
Bank vaults are also cool.
I guess the next part is subjective but for the most part,
Machine Gun Kelly's (bleep) is pretty cool.
I want to suck Machine Gun Kelly's soul through this (bleep)
and then spit it back in my face. Oh my God.
What the (bleep).
Poetic, very poetic.
I'm going to have to sleep on that one.
I would let Colson Baker and Pete Davidson
Eiffel tower me, no joke.
(laughing)
Let's turn this into something positive here
for educational purposes,
Eiffel tower, for those who don't know would be
two structures.
That's for another day.
I would pay good (bleep) money
to let Machine Gun Kelly stomp on my head.
Why?
I don't care, Machine Gun Kelly has the hottest hands
in the entire world and I'd pay him to choke me out.
(gentle ethereal music)
They look like hands.
My girl says I have like wizard hands.
I know I already tweeted this,
but I would let Machine Gun Kelly raw dog me
in the back seat of my car
in the parking lot of an Arby's. That's all.
When I was 18, that, this is probably all going on.
At an Arby's.
This is, you know what's (bleep) up about this tweet?
Is that she goes, I know I already tweeted this.
So you said multiple times that you would
let me raw dog in the backseat of a car
in a parking lot of an Arby's.
Oddly specific, and (bleep) place to also choose to have
raw sex.
Okay, wow. That was cool, weird.
Thank you so much for all your thirst tweets.
Go watch Project Power out on Netflix.
And Tickets to My Downfall album coming September.
Yeah.
(gentle upbeat music)