Guys, I'm Jen Aniston!
[SCREAMING]
[APPLAUSE]
I was going to say you might recognize me,
because I'm Jen Aniston, but I think we cleared that up.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm so happy to be here today guest hosting.
[SCREAMING]
Oh.
I mean, of course, you know I play a host on TV,
The Morning Show.
[SCREAMING]
But this is totally different.
This is mid-afternoon show.
It's a mid afternoon show, so I can say things like--
like I could say sh-[BLEEP].
[SCREAMING]
And I can say ass-[BLEEP].
And I can say-- what?
Oh.
Sorry.
No, I can't!
Oh, that's late night.
Sorry.
That's late night, late night!
Anyway, sorry guys, if I offended anybody.
I love Ellen, as you know, I will do anything for her.
[APPLAUSE]
[SCREAMING]
Yeah.
Because we are real life friends.
I mean, there's Hollywood friends.
And Hollywood friends that kind of like do that [SMOOCH]
air kiss thing.
And then when you're real friends, you do--
you do that.
You do like that.
[SCREAMING]
Right?
That's what real friends do, or maybe just me.
And since we are real friends, I thought
that since she's not here, I'm going
to share some dirt on Ellen.
[SCREAMING]
You want some dirt?
And I'm not talking just dirt, I'm
telling you some deep, dark secrets.
OK, guys.
For example, people think that she
buys and sells houses 'cause she loves real estate.
No, it's not true.
It's because she's on the run from the law.
You have no idea.
I got more.
Her real name, it's not Ellen.
It's Sherry.
Sherry Linguine.
It's true.
You just gotta Google it.
I found it.
And there's one more, there's one more.
She throws pennies away.
She throws pennies and she throws
them right into the garbage in front of people.
Good luck pennies.
And then, wait, I got another one.
Oh!
I can't even walk into her dressing room,
because she's burning one of those Gwyneth Paltrow candles.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, and one more!
OK, hold on.
She once voiced an animated adult
film called Grinding Nemo.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
[SCREAMING]
It's a little-- it's hard to find,
but you know how to find it.
Anyway, just please, guys, don't tell her
I told you any of that, 'cause I really
would do anything for her.
And I don't know if you know this,
but I was actually Ellen's very first guest on this show.
[SCREAMING]
It's very true.
And I'm not saying that this show would not
be the hit that it is, if it wasn't for me.
But, you know, I'm also saying that I
wouldn't mind a little piece of that blonde's portfolio.
[LAUGHTER]
So this morning when I got here, the producers
actually showed me a clip of us from our very first show.
It was 17 years ago.
It was very sweet, blew my mind.
We're so-- we're so young.
We are so, so, so young.
Take a look at this clip.
It's really cute.
[SCREAMING]
Thank you for being on our very first show.
I'm so excited for you.
Well, thank you, I'm excited.
[APPLAUSE]
What's better than getting you every day.
Once a week was great--
Right.
--but now it's every day.
Well, my goal is to do it, like, three to four times a day.
[LAUGHTER]
Wow.
That's awesome.
[SCREAMING]
Thank you very much.
[SCREAMING]
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I mean-- I don't know-- but I think
we look the same, exact same.
And now, here to help me start the show,
please welcome tWitch.
[MUSIC - YBN CORDAE, ANDERSON .PAAK, "RNP"]
my
tWitch.
[SCREAMING]
tWitch!
Ah!
Could you imagine, to wake up having that and a cup of coffee
would be amazing.
[LAUGHTER]
Thank you for being here today and supporting me as I
guest host for Miss Ellen.
And I gotta tell you, I know that Ellen took your DJ desk
away.
So you're just sort of sitting on--
Just kind of got a stool, here.
--a sort of stool.
Yeah.
So I just want you to know that, apparently, the show
ER used to shoot on this set.
[CHUCKLES]
So I happened to go--
I found something, then I'm gonna help you out,
so you don't have to sit on that.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
Wow, this is--
Get on up there!
Yeah, this is.
Yes.
Yep.
There you go, buddy.
Get on up.
Listen, it was either that or the mammogram machine.
And I don't--
[LAUGHTER]
--I don't think I-- look, and you can recline and relax--
Yeah, I know it.
--at the same time.
Yet, it's not relaxing.
That's weird.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES]
Welcome to our world.
[LAUGHTER]