From why washing machine doors extend inwards, to what happens if you live in your bathtub
for a week, my name is Darlink and I’m here to answer everyone’s burning questions about life.
Hello again, it’s me Danger Dolan. What happened to your tooth?
That’s a good question Darlink. But a better question is what happened to the TRUTH? In this
episode of SPD ASMR I have purposely maimed myself in order to tickle your eardrums as I blow it up
with a super slippery serenade of succulent TRUTH. You fell over and broke it, didn’t you?
What happens in the brain when you draw a blank on a name, place or thing?
Think of your brain as a library. The more times you check out a book about a person,
place or thing, the easier it is to find on a shelf. However, books can be misplaced or
become lost if you don’t use them very much. If you’re trying to remember an actor’s face or
name but can’t, your brain is trying to find the book. Once it remembers the books cover or name,
all the information inside will be accessible from then onwards.
Additionally: our brains contain something called “inhibitory neurons”. If you didn’t have these,
then your brain would try to systematically remember
every single person you’ve ever met when trying to think of someone. This process
can malfunction though and the information you need will be blocked or “inhibited”,
and worse yet, the harder you try to recall the information the more it’ll become blocked.
Once you let your focus drift and think of something else though, the inhibitor may disappear
and you can recall the information again. Yeah, na, your brain is busted. It’s so far
out of date it’s running Windows 95. You can only manage one thought every hour without overheating.
You’re a relic. A museum exhibit. What you need is an upgraded Dolan operating system.
Open your mind. Unlock the power of truth. You’ll never blank again because each thought is fact.
“Cheese is harvested from yellow paint.” Your brain is one giant inhibitory neuron.
Don’t be ridiculous, Melissa. What’d you call me?
Oh. Na, I meant Darlink. That’s weird. I mixed you up with… someone.
Here. You need more brain juice. Affirmative. I am well prepared to
deliver unto you the next galaxy brain question.
Why does old software get buggy when it hasn’t been updated in a while? Shouldn’t it have the
same amount of bugs as when it was released? If your computer is exactly as you bought it,
with no internet and no new software introduced then you won’t encounter new bugs,
not unless the computer’s hardware fails in some way. But if you’re introducing software updates of
any kind or other programs, then unexpected bugs will appear as the writers of the code couldn’t
possibly conceive every single possible outcome in the future from conflicting programs. Therefore,
software needs to be updated to keep up with every other piece of software
it will interact with, or bugs are inevitable. Every device you own contains a hidden program
that will slowly introduce bugs and corrupt your files. It’ll drain your batteries and clog up your
data so gradually you’ll never notice, kinda like when a lobster puts you in a cooking pot
and slowly cooks you alive. Companies do this so that you’ll always upgrade to the
latest model. Otherwise we’d all still be using ipods and CD-ROMs. This is an indisputable fact.
Why is it not possible to build bird-like attachable wings to
allow people to fly or glide around? Flight is fine when you’re a small bird,
but scaling up to the size and density of a human is where the logistics fall apart. You
would need to significantly increase the size of wings to that of a hang glider,
far beyond what comparatively weak human muscles are capable of supporting. Birds also have 4 times
the lung capacity and are much more efficient breathing at high altitudes. Interestingly though,
if we were to put an air-filled biodome on the reduced gravity environment of the moon,
flying would be more than possible there. There is simply no need to build attachable
wings when you can grow your own. If you concentrate real hard, the magical & delicate
process will begin. Watch. Woah! That is… SICK. I love it!
Everyone can do it. Even you. You better believe I’m trying it tonight!
Hmm. But I thought you could already fly? For the last time, I am not a bird!
I never said you were…? It’s okay. She won’t hurt you.
If we can invent a cup that keeps water cold or hot for hours,
why can’t we build houses with the same material? These are typically known as vacuum flasks,
and it’s not feasible to build an entire house like this. If you did manage to create a perfect
vacuum-enclosed house, then sure you could prevent any type of heat transfer, but it
would do the same thing for air and moisture. Your drink might not need oxygen, but humans
typically do. If you wanted to build a house like a cooler though, you actually can and they’re
known as Passive Houses.These typically have super thick walls and come with a variety of benefits,
such as continuous insulation and solar gains. AXCTUALLY, we do have these, we just call them
“coffins”. If you’ve never lived in one of these before, I highly recommend it.
Nobody bothers you. It’s vacuum sealed so the temperature is always constant. Sure,
there’s no air flow, bathroom, food or water of any kind, but you really can’t complain
when the housing market has inflated this much. They’re great for storing victims and people you
don’t like. Out of sight, out of mind. Indeed. What?
How do we know there are 7 billion people on Earth if there are unregistered births?
Almost all countries of the world have at least a functioning birth registration system. From that,
we can extrapolate a pretty accurate number of people currently living in the world; of course,
this doesn’t take into account unreported births, false reports, and the homeless or
forgotten - but even so whether we’re off by just a few million or hundreds of millions,
it’s still within the standard statistical deviation and we still have a decent ballpark
of how many humans are currently on Earth. Every device in your home, from your webcams,
to your TV, your phones, tablets, voice assistants and even your microwave are watching and
cataloging everything about you. Your fridge knows what you’ve been up to - your darkest secrets. No
matter where you go, the government knows who you are. Not unless you put your phone in airplane
mode. That’s the only way you can go off the grid. Wow, Mr D. Where did you go? You
don’t exist anymore. You’re a ghost. That’s nothing. Wait till I go behind a VPN.
Peace.
Why do washing machine doors extend inwards? Wouldn’t there be more room if they were flat?
The main purpose of these doors is to prevent your clothes from getting trapped when you
close the door and the machine goes through its cycle. It also helps distribute the detergent
more easily because clothes will fall from the top of the dent and land in the middle-bottom,
which allows them to scrub more easily and thereby clean off grime
more effectively. The extension inwards isn’t necessarily “wasted space” either,
because if it were flat and you could fit more clothes, they wouldn’t come out cleaner because
there’s not as much water per clothes. Na, this is because you bought a cheap-o
washing machine. I learned my lesson after getting stuck inside so many of these things,
so mine extends outwards, and the interior is so vast it takes up several rooms. It’s
so big you can bathe in it, and rent it out on weekends as a fun rotating pool.
When was the last time you looked at your electricity bill?
I look at it all the time. What - you’re not implying I should PAY
it, are you? It’s a scam. Why should I pay for electricity when I can’t even see it?
Oh. So, here’s a not-at-all related follow up question:
What happens if you live in your bathtub for a week?
Although it seems like it’d be harmless to float in water for a week straight,
the reason your fingers start to look like a prune is because of vesicles; bubbles trapped
between the two layers of skin, the epidermis and dermis. If you stayed in the bath for days,
these vesicles would burst eventually. Your skin would literally begin to peel off. And if that’s
not bad enough, assuming the bath water hasn’t been changed in a week you’ll be swimming in a
pool of your own bodily fluids - infecting your newly exposed flesh. This isn’t even mentioning
the sores and blood clots from being in one spot for days on end. Overall, it’s not recommended.
There’s only one way to find out. Darlink, I challenge you to a week in the tub.
The loser will earn the title of CRINGE. Not a single chance. I have waaaay better
things to do than sit around for a whole week. Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t be fair. You are pretty
much just a kid, after all. Run. The taps.
Okay. Here are the rules. No leaving the
bathtub for a week. Aaaaaaaand - go! W-w-w-w-what is h-h-h-happening? It’s
too cooooooold.
Ahhhhh! That wasn’t so bad after all. So how did you go?
You… did keep refreshing the warm water, right?
You didn’t just leave in that ice-cold original water for a whole week!? Gross!
How are houses over 100 years old still functioning and liveable?
It entirely depends on the materials used, and whether the house has been maintained for all
that time. If maintained, then there really is no expiry date for a home,
you can repair or replace as much of it as you like, for hundreds or thousands of years. But
to more accurately answer the question, extremely old homes still standing were made out of robust
material that age well; stone and masonry that can last centuries. A lot of houses
these days are built as cost-effectively as possible, which means using material that
didn’t exist back then like drywall. But even drywall typically only lasts around 70 years.
This depends on how many human teeth were placed in the cement during construction.
Me? Aside from my own, I tend to use 3-500 just to be safe. If you don’t have that strong dental
foundation, then your house won’t last two weeks before the plaque and tartar builds
up and before you know it: cavities. If you’re uncomfortable with how many children you have
to rip teeth out of to get this number, consider using kidney stones instead. They’re plentiful,
and they’re easily harvested from orphans. By the way, where did you get this ASMR mic?
If you must know, it’s a precious family heirloom passed down hundreds of years- no, don’t use it!
Hello, my name is Darlink and I’m here to quench your thirst for knowledge (giggle)
so gather round and prepare yourselves for a healthy dose of delicious facts.
Yeah well my name is D- Dolan and I’m here - I said I’M HERE TO - hey stop shoving - I’ll
blow your minds - STOP IT - I lost a tooth for this - It’s me Dolan - noooooo-