Do you struggle to communicate your ideas in English? If you aren’t good at communicating
in your native language then you are likely not to be good at communicating in English either.
I know communication is generally a skill that we all could improve, because of this,
in this lesson you will learn: -> What makes a good communicator?
-> Why communication is different from speaking -> And I have a special surprise for
you at the end so don't go anywhere! To understand fast speaking natives, be understood
by anyone and connect to the world make sure you hit that Subscribe button and the Bell down below.
That's exactly what this fan did and they say that our channel has improved their overall fluency,
so join our growing global community, so you don't miss any of our new lessons.
Communication is like being on a roundabout. There are things coming from
all different directions. You have the speaker, the listener and the message.
Sometimes you can go ahead, sometimes you've got to wait for your turn,
and other times you even change the course as you go. But, the way each of these elements are
involved in the communication process can take it to totally different directions.
Before we dive into the skills you need to develop to become an effective communicator, I want you to
reflect on this question: What is Communication? Is it talking and listening? Is it giving a
speech? Communication does involve getting information from one person to another, but
it’s so much more than that. "Communication is the art and process of creating and sharing ideas."
Unfortunately, we live in a world of separation. Of "Us vs. Them." Of "We're number one,
they're the enemy." But what if there was a tool that would allow us to go beyond these
petty differences and see our similarities as human beings and ultimately as a global family.
Never before in human history have we been so interconnected. You can talk with people
across time zones and get informed about what's happening over 5 000 kilometers away.
You can be anywhere in the world without even leaving your home.
It's crazy to think that, right? Communication goes beyond just speaking.
Success in communicating your ideas will lead to understanding, empathy and change.
You have the power to be a global citizen. That's what we believe here at RealLife English:
speaking a common language helps us create a world beyond borders.
As you share your personal experience with others, all while gaining the knowledge and understanding
to change the world for the better. Join our global community now.
Now if you want to feel more confident when you're communicating in English and create more
positive connections for life I want to tell you that you should join our Fluency Circle.
A group of learners who have the power to communicate with each other every day.
The Fluency Circle is a global community of language learners
who have taken part in the Native Immersion Course.
Now, the Native Immersion Course will take you on an adventure of the English language over 41
weeks. It's a fun, natural and convenient way to learn English from the comfort of your own home.
And of course you can try it for FREE today with our 3-Part Power Learning Series. To get
started today click up here or if you're on a cell phone click on the link in the description below.
First and foremost being a good communicator goes beyond just maintaining a good conversation.
Everyone's goal is to be understood and how can you ensure you are getting or understanding
what the other person is trying to tell you? Well you have to develop your communication
skills. They are the tools we use to remove the barriers in communication,
listening, understanding and responding. Let's take a look at each one of them.
What's your listening habit? Are you the type of person who
fakes your attention? Do you interrupt people when they are speaking? Maybe you listen while
typing an email or looking at your phone? Take a minute to reflect on that.
We sometimes do these things without even being aware of them. However that sends a hidden message
that prevents good communication from happening. Ideally we should all aim at being active
listeners that is listening with intent. A way of supporting the other person. When we
have someone paying close attention and showing interest in what we're saying we feel flattered.
And it usually makes us feel good about ourselves. So how do you demonstrate interest? Well,
it's quite easy. Visibly give the person your full attention, not only with your ears but
also with your whole body, turn to face them, intently gaze at the person and help them speak.
Good listening also includes acting in a way that is considerate of the other person.
A good listener will acknowledge the other person's idea and even help them,
if needed. Sometimes the person is having difficulties getting their idea across,
so you can help them by showing positive encouragement, you can nod, smile and
make positive noises to show your approval. A fundamental attitude to support this is to
value the person's opinion even if you do not agree completely with what they have to say.
If you disagree find a way you can disagree with their argument and not with the person. Show your
acceptance of their right to differ with you, whilst stating your opposition to what they say.
That brings me to the second aspect of good communication which is understanding.
Stephen Covey says that understanding others before trying to be understood
is a habit of highly effective people. You can learn more about his ideas and how
to learn English effectively with this lesson based on the best-selling book
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Now the same words have different meanings depending on how we interpret them. This
is often where communication breakdown happens. People won't always understand
your ideas the same way as you. How we interpret what we hear or
read is affected by the thought we have in our minds when we are listening thus the
importance of focused and active listening. Another golden tip to build the bridge in
communicating well is finding a balance between asking questions and using statements.
This will help you build rapport and generate connection with the other person rather than
having them feeling like you're lecturing them. Asking positive questions is generally a good
approach, both to test your own understanding and also to demonstrate interest.
There are many types of different questions you can ask a person,
such as, "So what you're saying is...? What you mean is...? What you're trying to say is...?"
Another way of creating an atmosphere of understanding is by giving extra meaning to
the words you use through the use of intonation. Check out how Andrea explained it in this lesson.
One great tip I can give you is to pause before you dive into a response or comment
about what the other person has said. Give yourself some time to notice your
own internal references on the topic and if you are truly openly listening or if
your inferences are biased. This is if you already have
a solid or strong opinion on a topic, pauses are always good to emphasize what you're saying.
Think about what you would say and the effect that it would likely have. Also,
be ok with silence. We tend to feel uncomfortable when there's a long pause in a conversation.
Pauses can also be an invitation for the other person to speak as well. Some people may need time
to process what they heard and what they'll say. And finally, pay attention to how you react
to what the other person says. There are other elements involved in communication
that go beyond the words you say. They are body language, tone of voice, eye-contact.
Sometimes, when you are not interested in what the other person is saying or your mind is
elsewhere while they are speaking, there are many non-verbal signals that "speak louder than words."
You may be nodding your head, but your lack of eye-contact may show you're not listening to them.
Or, you may answer a question, but your tone of voice may underlie criticism.
So when you're responding use your body language and your tone of voice correctly.
Also make sure you maintain eye-contact so that you can have highly effective conversations.
So, RealLifers, in this lesson we have looked at the main important skills to become a good
communicator. Remember the awkward conversation we saw at the beginning? We don't want you to
experience that ever again. So, now, we're going to practice a REAL-LIFE conversation
for you to start working on your Communication Skills.
Here's the exercise: I want you to film yourself while you're having a
conversation. I'm going to ask you a question and give you the beginning of your answer,
then I want you to continue giving your answer for about 30 seconds or so.
Whilst you are answering have in mind what we discussed, like your tone of voice,
your eye-contact, intonation and body language and so on.
When you finish I invite you to share it on your Instagram stories
and make sure you tag us @reallife.english and use the hashtag #RealLifeCommunication and we will
happily share some of your stories. Aww yeah!!
You can start practicing these skills right now! We at RealLife English have
developed a unique App for you to connect with anyone in the world and speak English.
That's right, speak English with anyone in the world.
Embark on a global adventure and join the list to be a tester of our
exclusive speaking and listening App. The link is in the description below.
Last thing, if you want to keep learning run over to our Instagram because I have a bonus
lesson for you there. We also have lessons for you every day on all of our channels,
podcast and Instagram. So make sure you hit the Subscribe button and the Bell down below,
so you don't miss any of our new lessons on the RealLife English channel. Aww yeah!!