-Thank you very much, John, for being --
Is that a present for -- for... [ Laughter ]
Is that a present for me?
-I am so excited to be on right now, by the way.
I have to say, that is the coolest thing in the world
to be a part of. -This is -- Yeah.
I'm glad that you're -- Exactly. -This is not for you. I'm sorry.
I'm -- I'm very happy to be here, Jimmy,
but this is a baby gift for you.
-For me? -Uh...
-Nobody has even got me anything.
-Then I must be the best person you know.
[ Laughter ]
This is from my wife and I.
We didn't know if it was a boy or girl, obviously,
so this should work for both.
But it is a cardigan, or as I call it, a cardi G.
-A Cardi... -And...
-Aw! [ Squeals ]
[ High-pitched voice ] It's so cute!
-[ Speaks indistinctly, laughs ]
-Oh, my God, this is weird. This is weird.
-It's weird? -Yes.
-What, like, flammable or something? What's wrong?
-No, no, no. I mean, I think she means in general.
-Oh! I thought you meant the material.
[ Laughter ] -Oh, my...Babies are so little.
-I know. [ Laughter ]
-It's such a little cardi G.
-Have you guys met before? John? Cardi?
-It's cute. -No, we haven't.
-No. You look British.
-I look British? -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-I think thank you. -Yeah, yeah. Really.
-They're pretty popular, right?
-Oh, yeah. British people? Of course. We love them.
-They play Americans in movies and stuff. Yeah.
-People like them. -Yeah, like -- like -- like --
like the Pet Shop Boys. -The Pet Shop Boys?
I look like the Pet Shop Boys? -Yeah. Like one of them.
[ Laughter ] -Well, you and me together.
-Do you know Cardi's music? Do you know Cardi?
Are you a fan of Cardi B's music?
-Yes, I am. Of course. You come up in my shuffle,
and the -- you're amongst weird company.
Uh, it's a lot of my own comedy albums.
Uh... [ Laughter ]
-Congratulations.
-Some Steely Dan... -Nice.
-...and, uh, Tom Jones.
-You are, like, a giant Tom Jones fan.
-I am, uh, interested in Tom Jones.
And I think he's very talented, but I have his music
because I played a prank with a song of his years ago.
When I was about 11 years old,
I went to a diner that had a jukebox
where, for $1, you got 3 plays.
And my friends and I put in $7 and then we selected 21 plays
of Tom Jones' "What's New Pussycat."
[ Laughter ]
And then we sat down and waited.
-And did people just have a meltdown?
-They lost their minds!
Played 11 times, then they unplugged the jukebox.
-Now you think that would be a record, some sort of record...
-[ Laughs ] -...for something like that,
playing that song that many times in a row
and driving humans insane.
-It was recently beat.
-Now explain this. And who was this genius?
-By a high school student at Clark Central High School.
I believe I'm getting that correct.
His name is Gabe, and he snuck into the intercom room,
because he did the morning announcements,
and he played "What's New Pussycat"
22 times for 45 minutes,
blasting over the school intercom,
and they had to cancel school.
[ Laughter ]
-Is he expelled? -No.
He got suspended for three days and he couldn't go to prom.
-[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ] -I mean...
-Well, I-I didn't think it was fair,
but also, like, that's not that bad of a punishment,
not going to prom. -No.
-Like, at best, prom is like a wedding. You know?
-[ Laughs ] Yeah, at best. Yeah. -At best, yeah.
-I had a good prom. -You had a good prom?
-Mm-hmm.
[ Laughter ]
-Really? All right.
Did you have a good prom? -No.
I've never met anyone who had a good prom.
-Well, you know what?
Hey, my -- my boyfriend at the time,
he dumped me two weeks before my prom.
-What? -But I think it's -- I think --
I honestly think it's because he didn't wanna pay for the limo.
[ Laughter ]
But then that night...
Forget it. [ Laughter ]
-You don't wanna get into it, but that night...something.
He -- You saw him again?
-No. I just... [ Sighs ]
[ Laughter ]
-Did someone pay for the limo?
-Mm. [ Laughter ]
-Was someone -- was someone in the limo?
-[ Inhales deeply ]
Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-You know, my Nana drove me to my prom.
[ Laughter ]
-But you wanna know something? -Yeah.
The limo that I ended up with,
I didn't rented it.
-You bought a limo?
-No. It's just, I just got in the limo and just...
-Took it? -Forget it.
I can't get into it.
Kids watch me now.
-Well, you've already got us 90% of the way there.
-No, no, no, no, no, no! I think -- No, I think we know.
We can probably put two and two together.
-So my Nana, anyway, um...
[ Laughter ]
-Your Nana. Uh. -Yeah, I went with my Nana.
-John, you are doing -- You are hosting "Saturday Night Live."
I know you as a writer on "Saturday Night Live."
-Yes. I wrote there for about four and a half years. Yeah.
-This is pretty cool. It's gotta feel great.
-It's insane, yeah.
It's like, uh -- But I worked behind the scenes for so long,
and it's like I was a spy.
And now they're like, "Hey, you should run for president."
I'm like, "I know too much to do that."
[ Laughter ] -"I can't do that."
-But are you gonna be nervous?
Actually, well, no, you're on Broadway.
-Am I gonna be? I've been nervous for 35 years.
Yeah, I'll be -- I am excited nervous, though.
-You were fantastic on"Saturday Night Live."
-Thank you. -You really were fantastic.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-I wanna talk about your show at Radio City.
'Cause you were just, uh, you did a stand-up special.
And first of all, Radio City Music Hall.
-It's crazy. -It's the greatest.
-The showroom of the nation.
They do the Christmas spectacular there. Right?
So they have, like -- -The Rockettes.
-So they have a room for giraffes,
specifically for giraffes for the nativity scene.
-Wow. -Yeah?
-And it was nicer than my dressing room,
but still, it's, like, a tiled room with, like,
room with, like, giraffe baths.
-Were there giraffes in the nativity scene?
-You know, that's an excellent question.
No, camels! Not giraffes.
[ Laughter ]
But hey...who knows? -Yeah, but hey,
maybe under your Christmas tree, you had a more advanced...
set than I had. I'm like, "You got giraffes?"
-I don't take the Bible literally.
[ Laughter ] -There were giraffes
and elephants and meerkats there.
-Yeah. All right. -Was you nervous,
and your underarms was itching and stuff?
-Yeah, my underarms were sweating during all the shows.
I was so nervous.
But, um, I do a thing when I'm nervous
to calm myself down.
-Me, too. -What do you do?
-[ Trilling ]
-Does it work? -[ Trills ]
-[ Trills ] -[ Trills ]
[ Laughter ] -[ Trills ]
-Please stop doing that. Please stop doing that.
I just... -I'm trying to make a gif.
[ Laughter ]
-You are hosting "Saturday Night Live"
this weekend.
John Mulaney, congratulations, buddy.
-Thank you, Jimmy. -You're the best.
-Thank you so much. -Break a leg! Break a leg!
-Thank you!