What is Eugene H. Krabs' net worth really?
Money!
With the help of an accredited financial advisor,
we sifted through the archived footage and found out once and for all.
How much is the Krab worth?
To deduce this, we had to calculate his revenues minus his costs
to determine his lifetime net profits.
Question one.
What is Mr. Krabs' annual income from The Krusty Krab?
Mr. Krabs frequently exploits his restaurant's popularity,
engaging in price gouging and even charging his employees
for use of the building's services.
According to SpongeBob in Big Pink Loser,
when he started working, Mr. Krabs charged him $100 an hour.
OK, the easiest way to tell how much Mr. Krabs actually pays his employees
is by looking at the Krusty Krabs' hours.
All in all, SpongeBob and Squidward work 82 hours per week.
So Squidward and SpongeBob work a total 4,264 hours a year,
with no real breaks.
No one's taken a break at The Krusty Krab since the chum famine of '59!
Squidward has admitted that Mr. Krabs pays minimum wage.
May I resume my minimum wage duties?
So what does The Krusty Krab make in a year?
Well, we need to look at how many customers The Krusty Krab has.
There are 538 residents of Bikini Bottom total.
Since The Krusty Krab is the most popular restaurant in Bikini Bottom,
it's safe to say the residents likely visit twice a week on average.
That would equate to 1,076 customers a week,
making about 180 customers per day.
Now, let us observe The Krusty Krab menu, otherwise known as The Galley Grub.
A Krabby Meal is three dollars and fifty cents.
Our trusted accredited financial advisor
says we should use that as our average dollars spent per customer.
Now let's have him crunch the numbers for us...
$630 dollars a day in Krusty Krab revenue.
I mean, that means The Krusty Krab makes $3,780 a week.
So $1,189 are spent on employees a week.
Therefore Mr. Krabs takes $2,591 a week for himself.
You heard it here first, that's some pretty good earnings!
Gee, thanks, Mr. Krabs!
I thought you were a cheap, old tightwad!
But how does this pan out annually?
I'm going to assume that Mr. Krabs gives SpongeBob and Squidward
the lowest benefits package, meaning no 401 K contributions.
Healthcare, life insurance, commuter benefits, supplemental pay,
wellness program, paid leave, pension
and, he absolutely does not pay overtime.
With this info, we can calculate their yearly salaries.
Wow, that's more than I make in a year!
SpongeBob and Squidward make an annual income of about $30,000 a year.
OK, question two.
What are Mr. Krabs' other expenses?
May I take your money?
We can assume he does minimal shopping.
He wears the same outfit every day.
He also pays little to no taxes, does not engage in philanthropy,
has no marketing budget and keeps his margins remarkably low.
Even stealing wholesale goods for The Krusty Krab!
He also surprisingly does not have any debt,
but there are a few things he does pay for...
You're spoiling me, Mr. Krabs!
Number one His girlfriend, Mrs. Puff.
Nothing's too good for you, my prickly peach!
On average, Mr. Krabs takes Mrs. Puff out on a date once a week.
He obviously likes to keep it cheap,
spending no more than $60 on a date at a time.
$60 a week multiplied by 52 weeks...
That's $3,120 per year spent on Mrs. Puff.
Number two. His house.
Mr. Krabs' home is also a valuable fixed asset of his.
Mr. Krabs' house has an estimated cash equivalent value of $120,000!
Number three. His daughter, Pearl.
As mentioned earlier, Mr. Krabs has very few financial weaknesses,
but his daughter Pearl is definitely one of them.
The average individual spends around $13,000 per year on a child.
So it's safe to assume Mr. Krabs spends around $10,000 a year on Pearl.
Only $10,000!
Question three. Just how rich is Mr. Krabs today?
It's safe to assume he started depositing $10,000 in a money market account
with a %2 annual interest rate.
So, let's put all the numbers together.
Cue our financial wizard!
Mr. Krabs has a net worth of...
[drum roll]
$5,249,351!
Huh!
Who's his financial advisor?
Would ya look at that?
His millionaire status is actually confirmed by the Krab himself!
This is my one millionth dollar earned!
So, you ask, is Mr. Krabs filthy rich?
And I answer, undoubtedly, me boy!
That's all for today, folks.
Drop a comment below and let us know what you want us to figure out
in the next episode of Inside Bikini Bottom.
Show's over, cheapskate!