Uh, hello?
- Doctor? - Come in, Mr. SquarePants.
Please, have a seat on the couch.
Now... [chuckles]
Let's unload all that harmful information
in your little yellow head.
[knocking] Ding-dong!
Hello, boys.
[snoring]
Huh? What?
Down here, fellas!
- Who are you? - Old professor Plankton,
door-to-door salesman.
My card.
"Professor Plankton's personal products?"
Excuse me, sonny,
I'd simply love one of your Krabby what's its,
but my delicate digestive system has special needs
and I'll need to see a complete list of ingredients.
You wouldn't want me to be up all night
with painful bloating, would you?
Stand aside, restaurant critic coming through.
So?
I'm a restaurant critic, so I get cutsies.
Cutsies? What's a cutsie?
I get to cut in line, so move aside.
Move aside!
What is this world coming to
when a fake restaurant critic can't get cutsies?
Oh, yeah. Perfect.
We look ridiculous.
Nobody's going to buy this disguise.
[grunting] I agree.
This is a horrible idea.
See? You guys are agreeing already.
Free cleaning service?
Census taker.
Good day, kind sir,
would you like to buy some Gill Scout cookies?
Ow!
[doorbell rings]
Hello, sir... [clears throat]
[higher pitch] Hello, sir,
I'm selling Sweetie Patrol cookies.
Look at it, Squidward,
Mr. Krabs' gift to all of Bikini Bottom:
the Krabby Patty.
Okay, give it to me.
Come on, SpongeBob, stop it!
I swear, I'm not doing anything.
Mr. Krabs, the Krabby Patty is haunted!
Avast ye, patty pirate.
This is no ghost,
this is Plankton!
[upbeat jazz music playing]
Uh, have you seen a Krabby Patty?
It's about this tall, and...
Wow, a magic shop!
Are you a magician?
One time, I saw this magician
and he took this thing, and he...
Anyway, and then he told us:
"If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic,
all your dreams can come true."
[groaning]
I can't take it!
Darn it!
[groans]
Once again so close and yet so far.
When am I gonna...
Oh...!
Well, I think I'll have another one.
Oh, dear...
[coughing]
[groans] All the way from the bakery.
But it'll all be worth it when I finally get my hands
on a Krabby Patty.
Right now, it's important that we discuss
an emergency situation.
Like the lost gold of Atlantis,
many consider the Krabby Patty to be a treasure.
And as with every treasure,
there's a thief ready to steal it,
so it's up to you to be the watchful eyes of...
What's this?
It's Mr. Krabs' business rival, Plankton!
Eat my microscopic dust, Krabs.
But wherever there's a secret recipe,
there is someone who wants to steal it.
[cackling]
Oof. Ouch.
And now for the final touch.
Perfect!
With this disguise, that formula is as good as mine.
[cackling]
[clears throat]
Yum, yum. This spaghetti sure is good. Belch.
Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath.
Ravioli, ravioli, Great Barrier Reef.
[snoring]
[screaming]
Roses are red, violets are blue,
world domination has nothing on you.
[screaming]
Hmm...
I guess she's not a poetry fan.
But if you're Mr. Krabs, then who's...
Mr. Krabs is a robot!
No, you idiots.
Plankton?!
[cackling]
[grunts] Hey!
You can't stand a chance, Krabs.
Huh?
- Plankton? - Don't tell Krabs.
Poor guy, the ice is really getting to him.
Oh, we gotta bust him out quick!
I'm gonna sit on him!
Patrick, no! He's very...
[ice breaks] fragile.
Krabs, stand...
A simulacra!
Sandy, please! Language.
[giggling]
[straining]
Whoa!
Krabs? What are you doing in my hotel room?
Uh, oh, uh...
Oh...
Good luck on your retirement, Plankton.
I won't give you any more trouble.
Oh, I know you won't, Krabs,
because I'm at the Krusty Krab right now
stealing that formula.
Oh, sure. Whatever you say, old timer.
How would you be doing that
when you're all the way over here in Dullsville, hmm?
[cackling]
Because I'm a decoy look-alike robot!
Gotcha!
Watch where you're standing, coral brains.
Sandy? You don't look so good.
Hey, you've got to stop eating at the Chum Bucket.
That stuff will rot your insides.
Lies, lies!
The Chum Bucket will always be my favorite restaurant!
Sandy, you don't sound like yourself.
No, Sandy is herself.
No reason to be suspicious in any way, y'all.
Well, as long as there's no reason to be suspicious.
[sighs] That was close.
Now it's time for a little wakey-uppy.
[buzzing]
Morning already?
[cackling]
[growling]
Oh, boy!
Everyone in Bikini Bottom showed up!
This is going to be so sweet.
[cackling]
[coughing]
Buddy, you just stay right here
and daddy's gonna go get the secret formula
and whip you up the best batch that we ever whipped up.
Be right back, Gare Bear.
[laughs] Yes, SpongeFool!
Come right back with your complete undoing
and victory will be mine!
[growling]
Mommy...
[doorbell rings]
[knocking]
Good morning, sir.
My name is Sheldon R. Shellcleaner,
owner and operator
of Super Shell Cleaner Vacations Unlimited.
[knocking]
Why, hey there, little fella.
Is SpongeBob... I mean, your master at home?
Perhaps I could just come inside for a minute
and demonstrate our fine snail products.
Shell polish, slime deodorant,
chew toy--
My leg!
Your friends won't tell you this,
but you can really use the slime deodorant, smelly!
Greetings, citizens of Bikini Bottom.
Behold my imperial Chum Colosseum!
Ow!
I knew I should have used pipe cleaners.
Hello, I'm your long lost relative.
Can I have the secret formula?
Good day, sirs, I would like to pilfer your...
I mean, purchase a Krabby Patty.
Hmpf, watch me sucker this guy.
That'll be a mere one hundred dollars.
That's all? Why, certainly.
[laughing]
[both laughing]
Come to daddy!
[sniffing]
Hey, wait a minute...
There's chum all over this bill.
That's it.
[laughing]
Hey, wait a minute, aren't you the same guy
what was giving away them rotted chum samples before?
Uh, oh, that wasn't me.
That was, uh, my brother-in-law.
Yeah, uh, Flankton.
Oh, okay.
[laughing] Finally I have a foolproof plan
to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.
Krabs will never recognize me wearing... these glasses.
[screaming]
[coughing]
Hmm, I think our darling little decoy
still needs something.
Oh, brother.
Ha-ha!
Yah!
Ha-ha!
Ah-hah!
Brother...
I found a genie!
[panting]
Ow, ow! Hot, hot! Ow, ow!
[screaming] Yow! Alakazam!
I am the genie of the bottle!
Eh, ah, ah, ah, eh!
Don't worry about the patty, Patrick,
I'll take it to Plankton myself like a good little conscience.
[snickers] See ya.
[grunting]
Oh, hey, Patrick.
Uh? My conscience?
Your what?
Yup, I'm Patrick's conscience, but I overslept.
Well, if you're my conscience's conscience,
then who's that?
It's a bug, step on it!
[grunting]
Night, Gary.
[meowing]
[snoring]
[cackling]
Ooh!
[beeping]
[cackling]
You're all mine, you sweet Krabby Patty.
[chuckles]
[cackling]
Can I have the secret formula?
- No! - Okay.
But he was persistent.
- Pretty please? - Uh-huh.
He used disguise.
[cackling]
Super science.
Hmm, I was sure it was one of Plankton's tricks.
Well, at least his money's good.
[laughing]
Ah-hah!
Plankton!
You knew I would never distrust a dollar!
All right, you can sit down for five minutes,
then it's back to work.
Drats, he's not collapsing from exhaustion.
But with a little more pressure
the sponge will crack like an egg.
Then I'll be there to feast on the goo
of his shattered psyche.
[cackling]
Ugh, a spider bug.
Hmm...
Something ain't right.
For me?
Don't you find this a tad suspicious?
Suspicion doesn't hold a candle to birthday wishing.
Surprise!
[screaming]
And he always did.
Lies!
[gasping] Hold on there, me boy,
we don't need to go through all that again.
Ha-ha!
[panting]
Hold it right there, Plankton.
- Krabs! - I'll take that.
How did you know it was me?
Next time, wear a disguise without your initial on it.
Hmm, perhaps a pepper shaker was a bit obvious.
You think?
Hey, you kids get off of my lawn!
That's right, run, Krabs,
for I have found your Achilles' heel.
I'll freeze you out of business
and I'll do it with your precious thermostat!
[cackling]
He's gone!
He's so small he could be anywhere.
He could be right under our noses.
F-Frank, where's your mustache?
[radio chatter]
[sneezes]
Blast it, pollen allergies!
[gasps]
[crowing]
[yawning]
There we go.
[chuckling]
Fluoride to Desktop,
I'm in a position to raise no suspicion. Over.
Cut the poetry, Wordsworth.
Did you get Krabs' hair sample yet?
Keep your pants on, woman.
I'm gonna steal his hairs right out of this razor.
[chuckling]
- I'll just grab the razor here... - Wait! No!
[groaning]
[coughing]
[disgusted groaning]
[whistling]
Now for the rest of it.
Ghost-extracting machine!
[laughing]
[grunting]
[screaming]
[whistling]
I look like I just saw a ghost.
It worked!
In this new gaseous form,
I'll be able to silently squeeze
through the cracks of the Krusty Krab.
[cackling]
Krabs will never see me coming.
Presso-inviso!
[grunts] Can't see my own feet.
All set, Plankton?
You better believe it.
This high-powered mechanical bio arm I invented
should pry those restaurant doors open
nice and easy.
[short circuit noises]
What the barnacles?!
Come on, you piece of garbage!
[gasps, yelps]
Ouch! Uncle, uncle!