hey everyone and welcome to top tank today we're going to learn about seven signs you're
emotionally intelligent now let's begin number one striving for improvement leaders counselors
and psychologists have long wondered what's the best way to teach emotional intelligence
dozens of educational strategies have surfaced in the past one popular technique focuses on
individual weaknesses it forces people to address their own failures but instead of increasing
emotional intelligence this technique makes people defensive their self-awareness decreases and their
perspective becomes even more shallow a recent report in the Harvard Business Review revealed
a much more effective strategy to teach emotional intelligence the key is self exploration instead
of focusing on your weaknesses experts recommend exploring your hopes and challenging your fears
by striving for self-improvement you can broaden your perspective you discover new facets of your
personality and most importantly learn how to empathize with yourself so take just a minute to
ask yourself how well do I know myself do I spend time on a regular basis exploring my individuality
these questions can be really difficult to answer so here's a helpful trick if you realize that you
have a lot to learn you already have your answer the simple fact is you're much more emotionally
intelligent than you think number two the power of a pause countless people with high emotional
intelligence share one powerful habit imagine your friend asks you an emotional question like
what do you think of me a question like this is loaded with pitfalls should you give an
honest answer should you tell your friend what they want to hear and why are they asking this
question in the first place well most of the time people don't think about what they say
when a difficult question comes their way they answer immediately but that's like swinging at
a baseball with your eyes closed it's inaccurate it's unreliable and it's a terrible way to hit a
home run that's why emotionally intelligent people take a moment to process when they're given a big
question they consider their answer from all angles they reflect on their own feelings and
consider their friends feelings too in this brief moment of silence emotionally intelligent people
turn a quick and reckless answer into something honest and thoughtful this pause is also a sign of
emotional control if you answer without thinking your emotions have control over you those strong
feelings push the words out of your mouth before you have a chance to think but if you pause before
you speak you are in control oh and that's not all this moment of silence shows that you're
also empathic you understand that your words have an emotional impact on the people around
you so you're careful and considerate with the things you say not only does this spare you from
many embarrassing moments it also strengthens your relationships impulsive emotions rarely
reflect your genuine feelings off-the-cuff comments can easily damage friendships and
relationships however if you're careful with your words people value the things you say in the long
run this forms deeper bonds and mutual respect so pay attention the next time someone asks you
a challenging question do you say the first thing that pops into your head or do you take a second
for yourself if you know the power of a pause you may be an emotionally intelligent person number
three emotional labeling can you identify your own emotions emotionally intelligent people have
a broad vocabulary for their own feelings when any emotion washes over them they can pinpoint that
feeling in a way that most people can okay let's say you just won an award you're standing on stage
staring out at a crowd clapping just for you how does that make you feel someone with low emotional
intelligence might say they feel good but an emotionally intelligent person would describe
that feeling very differently they identify pride and maybe a little bit of embarrassment
if you have high emotional intelligence you can recognize a detailed spectrum of emotions both
positive and negative in your mind emotions are far more complicated than just good and
bad your high emotional intelligence zooms in on the tiny nuances that differentiate anger from
frustration or happiness from excitement that skill set extends beyond your own brain when
you can label complex emotions in yourself you can identify the same emotions in others often
times as an emotionally intelligent person you understand people's emotions better than
they do when they're feeling good or bad you're the one who elaborates for them you understand
what's really happening under the surface even if they don't that right there is the
essence of emotional intelligence number four transformational leadership have you ever met
someone whose vision inspired you to perform at your best according to a 2000 study in the
leadership and organization development journal transformational leaders are some of the most
powerful role models in our society they instigate change the unites communities they promote a sense
of identity by challenging you to take possession of your accomplishments transformational leaders
are adaptable self disciplined and most of all they're emotionally intelligent the goal of any
transformational leader is simple they motivate groups of people by activating their sense of
self oh maybe it's a team of co-workers in the office or a crowd of volunteers showing up for a
good cause whatever the situation transformational leaders inspire others to push above and beyond
they connect with individuals on an emotional level and that connection draws attention from
other people their followers learn to admire and respect transformational leaders because their
leaders return the favor they put their faith in their followers by giving them autonomy and
responsibility the understand the strengths and weaknesses of their followers they encourage them
to personally invest in every project because that investment drives their performance all
of these skills require an incredible amount of emotional intelligence to be a transformational
leader you have to connect with people you have to understand people and you have to value their
input according to the Harvard Business Review transformational leaders stand at the forefront of
modern industry not only does this interpersonal style increase performance it also encourages a
positive attitude in the workplace but there are transformational leaders outside the professional
world too in classrooms and friend groups even in relationships transformational leaders use
their emotional intelligence to bring the best out of others so if you try to inspire people if
you collaborate with others to create change you're not just a natural leader you're also
emotionally intelligent number five explaining your critiques most people don't know how to give
feedback their critiques come off as insults or personal attacks why is that because they
rarely consider the impact their opinions have on others as an emotionally intelligent person
you're a constructive critic you recognize the failures of others but you address those
failures in uplifting and meaningful ways when you supply feedback to a co-worker friend or partner
your goal is never to kick them when they're down instead you use critiques to motivate and
encourage others but what separates an insult from constructive feedback while tone phrasing
and timing all play a role the biggest difference is detail you explain your opinions if a co-worker
is being lazy you don't attack their work ethic you explain why you think their productivity is
suffering emotionally intelligent people turn every critique into a meaningful conversation
you don't tell people their flaws you help them improve number six careful commitments
how often do you break your promises do you make commitments to people without thinking
people with low emotional intelligence stretch themselves too thin they're scared to say no so
they make commitments to everyone but in the end they find themselves backed into a corner these
broken promises caused permanent damage to your friendships and relationships that's why as an
emotionally intelligent person you're careful with your commitments if a friend asks you for
a favor you don't say yes right away you ask them for some time to think you step away and
give yourself some perspective once you know for sure you can keep that promise only then do you
make a firm commitment to someone in the long run this careful routine builds an incredible
amount of trust between friends and partners saying no is uncomfortable in the moment but
it's the most considerate option in the long run breaking promises is never the right answer so
if you're careful with your commitments if you're not afraid to say no then you have high emotional
intelligence number seven deciphering strangers do you have an eye for honest and genuine people
emotional intelligence makes you a shrewd judge of character in just a few minutes you can decipher
almost anyone you pick up on small vocal clues you recognize little changes in body language you
understand subtext better than anyone with high emotional intelligence you can read any stranger
like a book just imagine you're interviewing a new hire at your company interviews often
bring out the worst in people interviewees will fabricate a fake personality just to get on the
interviewers good side but emotionally intelligent people can see right through this facade so why is
that because emotionally intelligent people pay attention to the little things you can identify
a wide array of specific feelings which helps you recognize nuanced emotions in other people
you can always tell when an emotion is genuine and when it isn't so if you've got a good eye
for people you may have more emotional intelligence than most hey thank you for
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