[typing]
Ah, the life of a rich Sim.
You've got everything:
a huge freaking awesome house,
waterside property with robots patrolling the perimeter 24/7,
and even an outdoor toilet made of solid gold
so you can drain the lizard amidst Mother Nature,
then go fishing as soon as you're done.
Yes, you've got it all,
except a garage.
Your garage sucks.
It's enough to make a grown Sim cry.
Never fear, a new Stuff Pack is here.
What you need is The Sims 3 Fast Lane Stuff
the newest Stuff Pack expansion for The Sims 3.
At least, you do according to EA and The Sims Team.
It comes with cars, garage clutter and several items
associated with vehicular ostentatiousness,
as the name Fast Lane suggests.
However, I prefer the Norwegian title,
"Full Fart."
Ha ha!
Oh, that is truly unfortunate.
"Take your Sims on the rides of their lives!"
With things like race cars,
the ultimate garage
and matching apparel.
In other words, it's simply another Stuff Pack.
All you need is The Sims 3 to play
and it adds some new items for your Sims to buy in-game.
Just install it,
enjoy the very aesthetically pleasing new loading screen,
and start your game normally to dive right into replacing
that tiny shack with the Prius and station wagon in it
and upgrading to a gargantuan garage of greatness.
There are 40-something new objects to choose from,
and they're all scattered throughout the different Buy Modes,
designated by the navy blue Fast Lane Stuff logo.
The new items are divided into four different lifestyles:
The first is Racing, where you get three new vehicles:
the Velocity Formula racer,
the Fitzgerald classic racecar,
and the Jamboree crotch rocket.
There are several garage items
which include a workbench pre-filled with clutter,
a workbench you can clutter yourself,
a wall-mounted tool rack, a tool chest,
random clutter tools,
and a stack of storage bins and a column.
You can also get several decor items:
traffic cones, a trophy case,
street signs,
a checkered flag banner,
rims in a display case,
and some lights in the form of racetrack lights
and road caution stands.
Next is Intrigue,
which is sort of a James Bond, secret agent type of lifestyle.
You pretty much only get some ugly cars for this one,
so you have to use some imagination with your surroundings.
The cars include the Empire Eidolon,
Requiescence,
and La Matea.
Rockabilly is the next style,
modeled after 1950s Americana.
You get four vehicles:
the Scoot motorized scooter,
Rock Town 3000 muscle car,
Summertime Souped-Up Ride Coupe,
and the Heartbreak Hot Rod,
which is oddly a truck.
The items include some bizarre-looking new ceiling lights,
a neon car light for the wall,
vinyl record rug,
records on a shelf,
a classic car painting,
non-functioning gas pumps,
strips of hanging chili peppers,
a bar stool and another freaking bar
which still won't get your Sims drunk because it's rated T for Teen.
There's also a new Rockabilly radio station,
which is a very nice touch but
no jukebox?
You're stuck with new stereos. That's frickin' lame.
And lastly, there is the Classic Luxury style,
which is in the style of classic luxury.
There are two new cars:
the Classic Convertible
and Anachronous Automobile replica.
The items include a desk, an estate chair,
matching love seat and couch,
floor lamps, an empty decanter,
and non-functioning antique stock ticker... thing.
All these items are printed out for your perusing
in the cheaply printed black-and-white manual.
I do wish it was in color, but at least they actually included a manual,
and it's not just a PDF file.
It doesn't show the new clothing and hair in the manual, though.
There are several options for adult men and women
to match the new lifestyle choices.
The most obvious ones are the Rockabilly and Racing styles.
There's a little bit of Intrigue and Luxury in there, too.
All are appropriate clothing and headwear
that you'll find to match the styles
that came with the Stuff Pack.
One final addition to Fast Lane Stuff is a very odd one.
There's a new trait called Vehicle Enthusiast.
It's also available in the current patch for the game.
Now you can actually have relationships to your cars the more you drive them,
even giving them a unique name.
If you have the Vehicle Enthusiast trait,
you can grow this friendship faster
and also name your cars instantly.
This is odd,
to say the least.
I don't exactly know how this is beneficial.
It just makes your car show up under your Friends list.
I don't know if your Sims secretly talk to their car while they're driving,
ala Knight Rider or what.
You know, somebody actually needs to make a David Hasselhoff Sim
and a KITT car for download.
Please and thank you.
So this brings me to my main complaint about Fast Lane.
It's pretty much just cars.
And the cars are fun, I suppose,
and having a bunch of new ones to choose from is a good thing,
but for whatever reason, I find most of them to be hideous,
especially the Intrigue cars.
And your Sims don't ever drive but, what, a few seconds maybe here and there?
So really, they just end up being like all the other items
that are pretty much just there for show,
the clothing is simply okay,
and most of the new Buy Mode options are just for decoration
and not interactive at all.
And most of that is just stuff that you'd want to put in a room
with a very particular theme.
It's not very open-ended.
Now that's fine if you want that, but I don't know that I did.
I'll probably just stick to custom content cars myself,
since they're free and they look a lot better than these anyways.
Fresh print owns.
So would I recommend Fast Lane Stuff?
Well, as always, the suggested price by EA is $20,
so it's a toss-up.
I don't mind it so much,
but I wouldn't say that it's a must-buy by any means.
All it is is some new stuff that isn't too spectacular
and launches a very weird trait
that lets your Sims have theoretical woohoo with their cars.
So if that sounds like you,
go for it.