Say goodbye to your pandas, San Diego
The US and China are in a Space Race
And more political purging
in the Chinese Communist Party
That and more on this week’s
China news headlines.
This is China Uncensored,
I’m Chris Chappell.
This week’s China news headlines.
Want to see a Giant Panda?
Well, if you’re near San Diego,
you’ve got until April.
Because the San Diego Zoo
is sending its last two giant pandas back to China.
Bai-Yun, 27,
and her son, Xiao Liwu, 6,
will leave at the end of April for China.
The father already left for China in October.
“They are one of San Diego's biggest attractions,
the Giant Pandas,
and now they're going back to China.
The world famous San Diego Zoo announced
just a few hours ago
the last two pandas under their care
are leaving to China.
The pandas have been here for decades
and millions of people have visited the city
and the zoo to see them.”
Which just goes to show
how little pandas care about you.
No matter how much love you show
these black and white furballs,
in the end,
they’ll always leave you.
And that’s because every panda in the world,
regardless of where it’s born,
legally belongs to China.
China rents out pairs of pandas
to zoos around the world.
According to National Geographic,
US zoos have paid a million dollars a year.
That’s not a joke.
And if that pair manages to have a baby,
the zoo will have to pay the Chinese government
an additional 600,000 dollars.
Fortunately, they don’t have babies very often,
because your average panda has the libido
of a 90 year old nun.
What’s that, Shelley?
That’s just a myth?
Pandas will have more babies
if they like each other?
You know what,
I don’t really care about panda love.
The point is,
pandas are expensive.
According to the Guardian,
“Having a panda can be ruinous,
say some zoos,
and could even take money away
from other conservation work.”
So the San Diego zoo has to send their pandas to China?
I say, good riddance!
I for one am not going have my heart broken by a panda.
Again.
There’s a new space race to the moon!
This time,
according to US Vice President Mike Pence,
it’s between the US and China.
Pence said,
“The first woman and the next man on the moon
will both be American astronauts launched by
American rockets from American soil.”
That’s of course, completely wrong.
Everyone knows that the Chang’e
accidentally went to the moon
thousands of years ago.
Say, what’s going on with the US-China trade war?
It’s in the End Game.
Tom, we’re in the End Game here.
And that’s no Dr. Strange.
That was the executive vice president
and head of international affairs
at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce,
Myron Brilliant.
Wait, Shelley that’s his actual name?
Yeah, really it’s a brilliant comment.
Of course, just like the Avenger’s End Game,
we may still have to wait a while.
Experts told CNBC that a trade deal
may not come until May or June.
Hmm, June.
Yes, I’m sure the Chinese Communist Party
will love having the spotlight on trade in early June,
which just so happens to be the 30th anniversary
of the Tiananmen Square Massacre.
India has become the fourth country in the world
to develop anti-satellite missiles.
To explain how it works,
they released this pretty spiffy video.
“The missile locks onto incoming satellite and it hits the target.”
Wow.
I’m truly blown away.
Now this certainly ups
India’s strategic defense capabilities.
That’s important—
since India is one of China’s largest regional rivals.
But just so you know,
China is totally cool with it.
The Chinese foreign ministry wrote,
“We have noticed reports and hope
that each country will uphold
peace and tranquillity in outer space.”
Translation:
We hope *everyone else*
will uphold peace and tranquillity in outer space.
The Chinese head of Interpol Meng Hongwei
went missing in China last year.
Now he’s been expelled from the Communist Party.
And charged with living an “extravagant lifestyle”
That was a “serious violation of law and discipline.”
So is he being taken down as part of
Xi Jinping’s “anti-corruption campaign”?
Eh.
The reality is,
Meng had ties to former Chinese leader Jiang Zemin.
Jiang is current Xi Jinping’s arch nemesis.
And so Meng was just a pawn in their power struggle.
But if Meng gets thrown into a dark hole somewhere,
at least he won’t be alone.
Because the former head of China’s Internet, Lu Wei,
is also being thrown into that dark hole.
Lu Wei used to be in charge of
keeping China’s internet sanitized—
that is, clear of all those pesky facts
that make the Chinese regime look bad.
But now he’s been found guilty
of taking 5 million dollars in bribes.
Does sacking the internet chief mean Xi Jinping
will be loosening up control of the internet?
Haha, of course not!
Lu Wei is also tied to Jiang Zemin.
“Lu had spent most of his career
working in the CCP’s propaganda agencies
under Liu Yunshan,
the former propaganda chief
who is also a key associate
in the Jiang faction.”
I guess that just shows that if you pick the wrong side,
nothing will save you from being purged in a power struggle.
Not even commissioning a great propaganda song
about China’s internet power.
Internet Power!
The Web is where glorious dreams are!
An oldie but a goodie.
And finally, the Chinese Communist Party
has spent years pushing anti-Japanese propaganda.
So when two men showed up to
a cherry blossom festival in at Wuhan University,
one of them wearing a kimono,
security guards stopped them.
One man was “violently pushed to the ground,
while his friend is restrained in a choke-hold
by another guard before collapsing.”
Now, the two men were not Japanese.
They were Chinese.
And as the guy yells at the end of the clip above,
he wasn’t wearing a kimono.
He was wearing an ancient Chinese garment
that inspired the kimono.
But you know, close enough.
The university released a statement in response,
saying all are welcome but asking
“the public to abide by school regulations,
behave in a civilized manner and dress appropriately.”
And before you go, now is the time I answer
a question from a member
of the China Uncensored 50-Cent Army—
fans who support the show
with a dollar or more per episode
through the crowd funding website Patreon.
Lukáš asks,
“Chris, who would bring more suffering to the world,
if they seize the power
and what are your scientific arguments for that?
Cthulhu, Goa'uld or CCP?”
Ohhh, that’s a tricky question.
Hypothetically,
I’m pretty sure Cthulhu
would be pretty bad news.
However, since you ask for scientific arguments,
I’m going to have to go with the CCP.
Why?
Well, because the Chinese Communist Party
already long ago seized power in China—
and killed tens of millions of people
with total disregard for human life.
And so we have real evidence of
all the suffering the CCP has caused,
whereas Cthulhu and the Goa’uld are still unknowns.
Maybe Cthulhu would be a loving caretaker.
Thanks for your question, Lukas.
If you’d like to hear your question
answered on the show,
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Thanks for watching China Uncensored.
I’m Brilliant Chappell.
See you next time.