46. The big four-six.
What do you get a 46-year-old, huh?
Anyone, anyone?
Oh, Alan, leave us the hell alone.
Hey!
Shawnie! Angela! What's up, Ang?
Tell them. There's nothing to tell.
Tell us what?
Nothing. I got a letter from my mom, from Virna.
Have you opened it? No.
Tear it up!
Cory, I haven't heard from her in three years.
Just tear it up!
Hey, Shawn.
Hey, Mr. Matthews!
Happy birthday in three days, right? 46?
This is what I'm talking about, people!
This is a good boy!
Shawn, look. Everything's going great for you, okay?
You've got friends.
You've got a beautiful, honest, sweet,
loving woman that loves you.
Well, thanks, Cory. Shut up!
You've made peace with your father's death.
You've made peace with your loony mother. Okay?
There's no good in that letter.
Cory, maybe Shawn needs to take a look at that letter
for reasons you can't see right now.
Gee, Mom, you know, I'm... I'm looking around the room here,
trying to see if anyone asked your opinion.
I don't see anyone. Is anyone... No?
Look, you want an opinion, you ask Topanga, okay?
Ask her! Go ahead. Topanga, tell him.
Cory, honey, I think you need to let Shawn
do whatever he wants.
(CHUCKLES) Excuse me.
Don't you ever snap at me like that in public again!
It says my mom is somewhere in Honduras.
Oh, no! He opened it.
And she's never coming back. That's nothing new.
She heard that Dad died,
and now I have the right to know something.
Shawn, put the letter back in the envelope!
Wait a minute! Maybe it's good news.
Trust me! It's not!
Shawn?
She's not my real mother.
We gotta find my mom, Jack. She's the only...
Family you have left? You gonna say that again?
Let's go on a search for your brother.
Oh, wait a minute! We don't have to. He's here.
You're my half-brother.
Okay, well, how about the other half beats the crap out of you?
Okay! Listen up, people.
Here's the plan as I see it.
We give Morgan, who will be our decoy,
some kind of poison that will make her ill.
Dad will have to take her to the hospital,
and when he's in the emergency room,
that's when the party begins.
So, let me make sure I understand this.
You're willing to poison your sister
to surprise your father.
The problem is, if Morgan goes south,
I mean, if she, actually, well, croaks,
it's gonna put a damper on the entire party.
Which is why we get horsey rides!
Notice me.
I'm Eric, on the horsey. Let's call him Pete.
The two of us together,
having fun, joy, merriment.
Cory.
I wanna be over there now.
Take me with you!
All right, if any of you need me,
I'm gonna be at the poison store.
Interesting family on Dad's side.
His great-grandfather and great-uncle were born in Scotland.
BOTH: Ah! Scottish.
And what they were known for was, well,
one day, they slaughtered their entire village.
BOTH: Ah! Slaughterers.
I come from thieves and pillagers.
I come from bad people.
Well, hey, you know, we haven't looked up your mom's side.
I've had three mothers.
Yes, uh, Virna, Ming Wa, and Elaine.
I think we can rule Ming Wa out.
Hmm. Which leaves Elaine.
Elaine McGinty. Ah, yes. Last spotted in Boston.
Hmm. She's probably sitting in a coffeehouse,
reading poetry right now.
You think Elaine's where I got my poetry thing, Cor?
No. Why not?
I just don't want you to expect anything.
Okay, I've entered all the information,
so all you have to do is hit "search,"
and they'll send you the results a few days later in the mail.
Sure you want to do this, right?
Oh, I'm sure!
Is that your final answer?
Yeah.
Okay, so when the firecrackers go off,