P: Grow a flower, grab your fluffiest lamb and
P: Give birth to an egg as
P: it's time for some Easter Baking
D: *sheep bleating*
P: Introducing my Easter-y assistant
*Laughter* P: That is terrifying
P: That is actually a thing of nightmares
P: Dan, please say something
*spooktacular music plays*
P: ah
*Dan Laughs*
D: You're uh-
P: I don't like it
D: Don't think I'll use that
D: So can I - can I keep this
P: You've covered it in fluff
P: It's like you've suddenly aged 20 years
D: Thanks
P: I'll just pick the -
P: I'll pick the grey hairs out like a monkey
D: This is the Dan and Phil monkey pruning phanfic
come to life
D: Well everything's okay I found a flower crown
P: You're Easter to the max
D: Still seasonal headgear
D: I'm Easter as f*ck *bleep*
P: You can't say that on this channel
D: It was bleeped
P: Oh yeah
P: Nice Easter kitchen you've decorated here Dan
D: *Chuckles* Why thank you very much
D: I tried very hard to make the most of
what Easter themed items we had around the house
P: What? A printer?
D: Shut up!
P: Also this chick looks like it wants me to die
D: Oh yeah
P: *scary high pitched chick voice* "Die Philip die!"
D: *pause* That's weird
D: *While Laughing* You're such a strange person
D: *Snaps* So what are we baking Phil?
P: We're gonna be doing an Easter Classic
D: Uh huh
P: With a Phil Spin on it
D: Of course
And what is that?
*Intense musical sting* P: Extreme Easter Nests
D: So, Easter Nests are basically choclatey shredded wheat
P: Yes
Dan: Mixed Together
D: What makes them extreme?
P: They have 3 types of chocolate (!!!!!!)
P: It's gonna be a layered chocolate Easter Nest
P: You're not even ready for how Easter
this is gonna be
D: You've taken something and tripled it
P: I have
D: *Doing Gang Signs* Extreme Easter Nests
D: So what's the 1st step Phil
P: As with everything in life, preparation
P: Dan, what is the name of a Mother Sheep?
D: A ewe
P: What is the name of a thing you write when you're about to die
D: A... dj... will
P: And what is the thing you do to bread
to make it good
D: Knead
P: You will need
P: How good was that
D: I quit I quit
P: A pan
D: Not JApan, a pan P: THE pan
P: Some bowls. NO!
P: NO NO! You will not disgrace the Easter Bunny
P: The grand Easter weighing machine
D: A baking tray
P: Real silicone
D: Is it?
P: Yeah, but it doesn't have to be
P: You can't give yourself butt implants with the thing
D: *Whiny disapointed voice* Ohhhh
P: Some Easter Baking Cases
D: Wait, aren't these just the Halloween ones we used last year?
D: Aren't they a bit depressing for Easter?
P: Uhhhh... I'm recycling
D: *Sarcastic AF* Oh.. ok
P: Carve out of your grandfather's leg
P: It's a wooden spoon
P: Ingredients
P: 99G of Shredded Wheat
D: Omg, this stuff is so flaky
P: Argh.. it's everywhere
D: Can't we just say 100G?
P: Well I already nibbled a bit of the edge so..
P: 80G of White Chocolate, Milk Chocolate and Dark Chocolate
D: That's triple the chocolate people
D: Can you handle baking this EXTREME?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
P: I told you they were extreme nests
D: A tablespoon and a half of Golden Syrup
D: because you know when you're trying to get golden syrup off a spoon you can totally measure
halves can you?
D: Good luck with that
P: 75G of softened butter
D: How does one soften butter?
P: Just put it in your pocket
D: don't recommend putting butter in your pocket
P: Works though
D: Don't do that
P: And birthed from an actual unicorn
D: To decorate; some mini eggs
D: Oh, wait, are they open?
P: Uhh... maybe
D: Oh were you just testing a couple to see
D: Whether they were of the right standard for our baking?
P: I may have had two
D: That's very noble of you Phil
P: *Whispers* or 6
D: and there's your ingreds
D: ready to go
P: yeah D: Let's bake
P: There's not actually any baking involved
D: No, it's just kind of like
P: Mixing together D: Melting and mixing and then chilling
P: Yeah
D: This entire video is a lie
D: So what's the method, Phil?
P: Don't do that
D: Sorry
P: Start with your dark chocolate and you're going to melt it using a bain-marie
D: Ooooh a bain-marie
i'm not saying anything but there is a little thing called a microwave (the best onomatopoeia) these days
p: true D: which might do the same thing but a bit faster
P: Though cavemen may be watching this, Dan
so we need to appeal to everyone
D: And it just sounds fancy
P: Ignite your stove
D: And then *kettle angrily beeps* *laughs* perfect timing. When your kettle angrily beeps at you
put it in the pan
D: Without spilling it on the sides like I just did P: You spilled it everywhere
D: But everything's fine
And then leave it to simmer
Phil, what's the difference between boiling and simmering?
P: Boiling looks like a volcano, simmering is like a nice hot spring where you relax with your mate...s
D: Let's get some close up action on that simmering
Oh yeah check i--are you sure that's not boling, Phil?
P: Oh, it is boiling now. Wait, wait wait wait there we go
P: Simmering D: A gentle simmer
D: Then what? P: Get your bowl
and place it on top of the simmering
D: And you'll see that this will heat the bowl in a really convoluted and unnecessary way in 2015
and then you drop your chocolate in it and it melts, let's do that!
P: It was actually how Bain Marie died, which is why it's called a bain-marie!
D: Bain Marie she was my hero P: She was D: What a tragic death
P. So go with the dark chocolate first, this is gonna be the bottom layer of our extreme nest
P: Some close up action
D: Oh yeah, oh right in the bain-marie
P: * strong nothern accent* And now you've done the chocolate, add the butter and the syrup
D: You don't need to go full northern
P: It was just--it D: Never go full northern
P: It just over top me for a second
D: That is some nice soft butter, did you put it in your pocket?
P: Yeah, yeah
D: You didn't actually put the butter in your pocket, did you?
P: No
D: Oh yeah, oh man that is some soft butter right there
D: And then how much golden syrup? P: Half a table spoon
D: Ok, how am I supposed to measure half the spoon?
P: Just let some pour out D: Oh God, ok
D: Uh, you ready? P: Yeah
D: ohhhhhhhhhhhh
P: Just let it drip out
D: Oh my God, I just wanna stick my face under that right now
P: It's amazing
P: Oh, that'll do it! D: Ok, that's half! whoa
P: So now we've got all our ingredients in the bain-marie
D: And this is obviously the point where you just want to stick your finger in it and lick it and or pour it all over your body
P: And now it's melted it's time to crumble in the shredded wheats
D: What happens if someone lives in a country where shredded wheat doesn't exist?
P: Uh you could, like, shred your own wheat or
D: *laughs* you just grow some wheat and shred it!
P: Or just use whatever cereal you like. Rice Krispies, Frosties, anything else that ends with "-ies"
D: Close up crumbling action
P: Just imagine that you're in Attack on Titan and you're about to ruin someone's thatched roof
D: Ok
P: *Attack on Titan theme*
D: Good crumbling!
There's a lot of hand involved in this. Wash your hands!
Have you washed your hands?
P: I washed my hands
I always wash my hands
D: Always? P: Always
even when i dont need to
*both chuckle*
Phil: crumble it nice and fine, you don't want any
lumps in your these nests
Dan: you want your bird ass to be comfortable
Dan: Stabby stabby, mix it in the chocolate
Dan: Why am i singing that to the theme of
Attack on Titan?
Dan: AAAAAAAAAAH. IS IT OKAY?
Phil: we're okay!
Dan: You didn't die for it Phil!
Phil: I didn't want to die for the boiling water!
Phil: Now it's time to line your cases with the
dark chocolate
Dan: with our kind of 2004 themed baking tray
Phil: You just want to layer to the bottom of your baking tray
Dan: cause remember this is only the bottom third of a triple extreme nests
Dan: Damn! that is some nice bottom layerage right there!