A year with so many exciting nominees
and a race we're all excited to watch.
And, no, I'm not talking about the election.
I'm talking about the the Grammys.
Nominations for 2020 Grammy Awards are out,
and there's a new class in town.
Lizzo, one of three newcomers, leads the way
with eight nominations,
including album, song and record of the year.
She's also up for Best New Artist.
17-year-old Billie Eilish was right behind
with six nominations. The two will go head-to-head
in all the major categories.
Lil Nas X,
who has the blockbuster hit
of the year with "Old Town Road,"
also picked up six Grammy nominations.
Wow. "Old Town Road" got nominated for six Grammys.
That's really surprising, and not that it got nominated,
but that it came out this year.
(laughter)
I feel like we've been listening to that song for a decade now.
Like, I swear I had that song on my iPod.
I swear it's been around for that long.
Yeah. I think that song has been out for so long,
when it came out, it was just called "Town Road."
That's what it was.
It's always weird to me how-how much time passes
between a song coming out
and when it gets announced for the Grammys, you know?
It almost feels like when someone responds
to your text, like, a year and a half later.
You know? It's like, "No, I'm not still up.
I've got a wife and kids now. What the hell!"
And yo, with eight nominations,
give it up for Lizzo, everybody!
(cheers and applause)
I'm genuinely so excited for Lizzo.
I hope she wins every single category.
I also hope Kanye doesn't make the mistake
of interrupting her speech.
Yeah, 'cause he'll be walking home with a flute up his ass.
She doesn't play games.
(imitating flute playing)
(laughter)
Oh, and, uh, there's one more Grammy nomination
that everyone in my house is talking about.
Trevor Noah, nominated for best comedy album.
(cheers and applause)
And this is... this is so exciting.
Honestly, this is so exciting,
because it really came out of nowhere.
I didn't even know the Grammys were be being announced.
Like, I found out the morning.
A friend texted me, "Wow, dude, Grammy awards! So exciting!"
And I was like, "Did we get invited? Oh, snap!
-Second mezzanine, here we come!" -(laughter)
And I'm not gonna lie.
With most things in life, I can be humble.
But to get a Grammy nomination when you aren't even a musician.
Best believe I'm gonna milk this.
(laughter, cheers and applause)
From now on, until the ceremony,
I'm Grammy-nominee Trevor Noah.
I actually hope I get arrested
just so that the news has to be like,
"Comedian Trevor Noah was arrested last night
"after police found four dead bodies in his freezer.
The Grammy nominee was taken away in handcuffs."
(laughter, clamoring)
(cheers and applause)
All right, moving on.
If you're wondering
whether going to college makes financial sense,
well, now there's a new tool to help you figure it out.
For the first time, the Education Department
has released information allowing students
to compare earnings and debt averages.
The move gives students the opportunity to see averages
from specific college programs,
rather than at the school as a whole.
The department's updated college scorecard website lets
students search individual majors at a school.
It also lets students see how much graduates typically earned
and owed a year after graduation.
Okay, I think this is a fantastic idea.
If you're a young person who is just about to apply to college,
this government tool can help you plan your future.
And if you're recently out of college and your life sucks,
this tool can help you figure out where you went wrong.
Yeah. It'll be like, "Oh!
"So majoring in underwater pottery
"is why I have six roommates!
I get it!"
And I-I will say, there really is some fascinating information
on the department's website.
For instance, uh, we learned
dentistry majors have higher earnings,
uh, NYU film majors, on average,
have debt that is four times greater than their salary, yeah.
And once again, this year,
the highest paying major is...
-having rich parents! Good choice! -(laughter)
-Well done! Look at you! -(applause)
Although, although, in all seriousness, though,
like, why do we always have to use money
as a way to measure success, you know?
Why don't we measure success by friends...
or love...
or Grammy nominations.
-I'm just saying, I'm just saying. -(laughter)
Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
All right, but let's move on to an airport police chase
unlike any you've ever seen.
Now to the wild police chase across an airport runway
that was caught on camera.
Suspect... the suspected teen burglar
trying to escape an arrest after landing in Oklahoma.
NEWSMAN: Take a look at the United flight
had just landed, and a 16-year-old squeezes
between the jetway and the aircraft
and jumps down onto the active tarmac
and starts running.
Workers give chase.
Authorities say that the 16-year-old
was able to get into a mechanical room
and into the terminal, and then watch
as he drops-- you can see from a distance--
from the roof of the terminal as his pursuers arrive.
His landing didn't go well.
He actually broke bones in his legs.
Taken to the hospital.
He's in custody. He still faces the charge, guys.
Goddamn.
This kid jumped out of a plane and then off of a roof?
You know what the problem is here?
Everyone thinks they're living in a video game.
You can't just jump off of a building.
You got to hit "X" as you land. That's what you do.
As you land, that's how you roll.
And also, kid, what were you doing?
The worst place to run away from cops is Oklahoma.
'Cause Oklahoma's just one giant open field.
There's nowhere to hide. Yeah, the cops can just walk up
with some folding chairs and be like, "There he goes. Yep."
And then five hours later, they're like,
"Yep, he's still running, still running."
Now, they say that he jumped out of the plane
because he was a robbery suspect and he wanted to escape.
Uh, but I think what happened was, they started boarding,
and then he realized that he was on a Spirit Airlines flight,
-and that's why he jumped out. -(laughter)
Spirit Airlines. They won't take me alive.