>> Stephen: I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING WHOEVER WAS WORK
ON THE DESK WILE I WAS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND BECAUSE I GOT THE
BONE HERE WITH MY NAME ON IT.
AND THERE WERE SOME BONE MARKS ON THE DESK.
ANG SOMEBODY CLEANED THE BONE SHADERS OFF PIE DESK.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.
A LOT OF THE NEWCOMERS IN THE LATE NIGHT WORLD HAVE TO KNOW,
YOU HAVE TO CLEAN ALL THE BONE SHADERS OFF YOUR DESK AT THE END
OF THE WEEK OR IT BUILDS UP, IT BUILDS UP.
HEY, EVERYBODY, WITH THAT BIT OF WISDOM OUT OF THE WAY LET'S SAY
HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO JON BATISTE.
>> Jon: HELLO, STEPHEN COLBERT, GET THE BONE SHADERS
AWAY, COME ON.
>> Stephen: NOW JON, HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?
>> Jon: THE WEEKEND WAS BLESSED, I AM GLAD TO SEE A LOT
OF THINGS.
I WILL SAY THAT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
FOR VISION ITSELF OR JUST THE THINGS YOU ARE SEEING IN THE
WORLD.
>> Jon: BOTH.
I THINK THE THINGS I'M SEEING IN THE WORLD ARE PROMISING.
AND YOU KNOW, IT'S STILL A ROUGH TIME BUT I THINK WE ARE MOVING
OUT OF IT.
I'M GOING TO SPEAK THAT INTO EXISTENCE.
>> Stephen: GOOD, GOOD, THROW IT OUT THERE.
LIKE AN ANCHOR, PULL YOURSELF TOWARD IT ON THE ROPE OF YOUR
HOPE.
>> Jon: I LIKE THAT.
THAT IS DEECH.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: SO FOLKS, IF THE PRESIDENT IS LISTENING TO A TASK
FORCE AND HE'S NOT, WHO IS ELISE ENING TO.
ENTER CORONAVIRUS ADVISOR AND VITAMIN SALESMAN EXPLAINING WHY
THIS ACTUALLY ISN'T A PYRAMID SCHEME, SCOTT ATLAS.
UNLIKE EXPERTS LIKE DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX, ATLAS' PLAN IS FOR
AMERICANS TO INFECT EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY ACHIEVE SOMETHING
CALLED HERD IMMUNITY.
HERTURD BECAUSE THERE IS A BILE PILE OF BEUL BEEP BLEEP.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DIE UNDER THE SCENARIO OF HE ARE, D IMMUNITY,
UNLIKE DR. FAUCI AND DR. BIRX, IS HE NOT AN IMNOL GUEST, IS HE
A NEURORADIOLOGIST THAT DOES NOT HAVE A BACKGROUND IN INFECTIOUS
DISEASES OR EPIDEMIOLOGY AN HASN'T PRACTICED MEDICINE IN
NEARLY A DECADE.
CALL ME A DREAMER BUT SLUNT THE PERSON CALLED TO LEAD IN THE
PANDEMIC BE AN EXPERT IN I DON'T KNOW, A PANDEMIC.
IF MY LAPTOP BREAKS I TAKE IT TO THE GENIUS BAR, NOT TO A
SEMIRETIRED PODIATRIST.
SO WHERE DID THIS GUY COME FROM.
WELL, THE PRESIDENT BROUGHT ATLAS ABOARD LARGELY DUE TO HIS
FREQUENT FOX NEWS APPEARANCES IN WHICH HE DOWNPLAYED THE VIRUS.
SO HE IS AN AWFUL, AWFUL PICK FOR MEDICAL ADVISOR.
BUT SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN THE PRESIDENT'S SECOND CHOICE FROM
FOX NEWS DR. WALK-IN BATHTUB.
ATLAS HAS BEEN DOING WHAT ANY RESPONSIBLE PHYSICIAN DOES
DURING A PANDEMIC.
INCITING VIOLENCE IN RESPONSE TO NEW LOCKDOWN MEASURES IN
MICHIGAN, ATLAS TWEETED THE ONLY WAY THIS STOPS IS IF PEOPLE RISE
UP.
NO, THE ONLY WAY THIS STOPS IS IF PEOPLE STAY HOME.
THAT IS LIKE SAYING THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS IS IF
PEOPLE DO ALL THE DRUGS.
THEN THERE WILL BE NO MORE DRUGS LEFT.
REMEMBER KIDS, JUST SAY BLOW.
BUT ATLAS DENIED TRYING TO START ANYTHING TWEETING HEY, I WAS
NEVER TALKING AT ALL ABOUT VIOLENCE.
NEVER WOULD I ENDORSE OR INCITE VIOLENCE.
NEVER, YES, HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO DIE FROM VIOLENCE.
HE JUST WANTS PEOPLE TO DIE.
ONE PLACE THAT RESISTED LOCKDOWN AND GAVE HRKSZ ERD IMMUNITY A
WHIRL IS SWEDEN.
THEY HAVE BEEN SEEN AS SORT OF THE EXPERIMENTAL COUNTRY FOR ALL
OF THIS.
I WILL TELL YOU REGARDLESS OF WHAT ATLAS SAYS, THE RESULTS
HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD, SWEDEN PER CAPITA DEATH RATE FROM THE
CORONAVIRUS IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST IN THE WORLD.
THAT MAKES SENSE, AFTER ALL DEATH DEATH IS SWEDISH.
WELL, THIS WEEKEND THERE WAS A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT FROM SWEDEN'S
CHIEF EPIDIMIOLOGIST ANDERS HEADMEL SEEN HERE ON THE BACK
JACKET OF A CRIME NOVEL THAT WILL BE TURNED INTO A MINI
SERIES.
IN LIGHT OF A HUGE FIGHT IN HOVMENTIZATIONS HE ADMITTED THAT
SWEDEN'S LET THEM CATCH IT POLICY DIDN'T DO MUCH TO
INCREASE NATIONAL IMMUNITY ADDING WE SEE COMMUNITY SPREAD
IN MANY REGIONS SIMULTANEOUSLY RIGHT NOW.
WHICH THE SWEDISH GOVERNMENT EXPLAINED IN THIS HELPFUL PSA.
>> COVID-19, NO VACCINE.
♪ GO BACK TO QUARANTINE.
>> Stephen: YOU GOT TO LAND IT, ADMITTING YOUR PUBLIC HEALTH
POLICY DID NOT WORK TAKES SOME BRASS LINGONBERRY.
I WANT TO SAY WE SHOULD NOT BE TAKING MEDICAL ADVICE FROM
SWEDEN AS ATLAS SEEMS TO BE DOING.
THEY SEEM SMART BUT THEY ARE MOSTLY JUST BLOND AND TALL.
I WANT TO MAKE A LIST RIGHT NOW, I WILL TAKE SWEDEN TO TASK FOR
THE NUMBER OF THINGS THAT THEY HAVE SHANKED.
LET ME GET READY FOR IT.
HOLD ON.
HERE WE GO.
I WANT TO POINT OUT WHEN I PUT THIS ON.
ORIGINALLY IN THIS BIT I WAS GOING TO BE SWEDISH WITH THE
ACCENT AND EVERYTHING.
AND THEN I CHANGED IT TO BE JUST YELLING IN SWEDEN AND DECIDED TO
KEEP THE OUTFIT CUZ IT'S DUMB, IT'S-- DO I LOOK DUMB?
>> NO, SIR.
>> NO.
THANK YOU, MARK.
HERE SAY NUMBER OF THINGS THAT SWEDEN HAS SHANKED, NUMBER ONE
PICKLED HERRING.
WE HAVE HAD REFRIGERATION FOR A HUNDRED YEARS, STOP IT.
OKAY.
HERE IS ANOTHER ONE MAYBE THE STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF ALL THE
FURNITURE FROM HOME SHOULDN'T DEPEND ON WOODEN DOWELL AGE
ALLEN WRENCH.
THE SWEDISH BIKINI TEAM, SHOULD NOT BE FUNDED BY THE SWEDISH
GOVERNMENT.
I DON'T EVEN THINK BIKINI IS AN OLYMPIC SPORT, HEY SWEDES YOU
NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY THE OLDEST SURVIVING ENGLISH LANGUAGE POEM
BEOWOLF TAKES PLACE IN SWEND-- SWEDEN I DE
WHICH-- BLACK LICORICE, TOUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT THE SALT.
MEATBALLS, THEY'RE DELICIOUS, THEY SHOULD BE LARGER.
OKAY.
MANY WITH THE LINGEN BERRY JAM TRK IS A WEIRD IMING, JAM AND
MEATBALLS AND I AM A HUGE FAN OF THE SKARSGARD, YOU CAN'T HAVE
SKARSGARD AND-- PICK A LANE.
HAVE I ONE FINAL MESSAGE FOR YOU AND I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU IN
YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE.
♪ I ASSUME ALL OF THAT WAS CURSING.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CNN'S JAKE TAPPER.