- Yeah, totally holding in a fart right now.
- I don't remember what you look like?
- I am pretending to be busy,
but I am literally Instagram stalking you.
- Hi! You don't edit your photos.
- You do.
- [Waitress] Doing my job.
- Oh, um, ordering something that makes me sound
feminine, yet, strong.
- Um, ordering something I memorized years ago
to make a good first impression.
Call back to a conversation we had online.
- Oh, quick comment, to let you know I'm on board.
- Standard question about your life.
- Generic answer, trying to hide my crazy.
A thing that worked with other guys.
- Things that worked with other girls.
- Oh, thing that worked with other guys.
- Thing that some girls actually like.
Controversial joke to test the waters.
- Negative reaction. Shutting this down.
- Being nice to the wait staff.
- Not noted.
- Awkward silence.
Talking about the menu...
- To avoid silence...
- or ongoing conversations...
- about our actual lives. - about our actual lives.
- That's what I was going to say.
(laughter)
- Hey, I'm going to take the biggest poop I possibly can
and tell you it was a pee.
- I'm going to text all my friends
and let them know this could be going better.
- Lie about how long that line was.
- Actually checking myself in the reverse camera.
- Hey, a joke at my own expense.
- Teasing with humor.
- Self parodying with humor.
- I am touching you right now
to let you know that this is back on track.
Oh, geez...
- Trying to be valiant.
- I am mortified, but I'm playing it off as adorkable!
- Realizing I am touching your leg and...
- sexual joke. - sexual joke.
- Different sexual joke.
- Trying to keep this energy going.
Letting my guard down.
Comfortable silence.
- Sexual silence.
- Okay.
A reference to how much food is still on my plate.
- A reference to how much food is still on my plate.
- [Both speakers] Because we are not comfortable eating
in front of each other yet.
- Showing my protector quality,
and financial stability.
- Accepting this general
because it benefits me.
Texting my friends to let them know that I like you.
- Thinking about our future?
- Yeah.
(farts)