I suffer from depression.
Antidepressants is something that my therapist has been recommending for a few years now
And something that I have never wanted to do.
You know, I've been like "I'll try St. John's worts teas" and "mood pro bionics"
very afraid of what the side effects of the medication could potentially mean and
afraid that if I take antidepressants that somehow makes my depression more real
than I would like to admit.
Because, you know, all you hear about are terrible side effects of medication.
No ones ever just like "Hey, I'm on antidepressants and its great!" out of nowhere, right?
like, all you ever hear about is like -
"Oh, I gained a ton a weight on anti-depressants!"
Or, "I'm really nauseous from anti-depressants!"
or horrible stuff has happened
But lately, I have had a uh, bout of drepression
That has sort of driven me kind of crazy
and made me not a fun person
to live with.
Unless you're a cat then you know, I'm the best to live with.
My therapist brought up antidepressants again, and said,
"Hey, why don't you just try it, you know, you've tried all of your herbs, and whatever you've wanted to try."
"You know I'm on antidepressants, my wife is on antidepressants, it's helped us tremendously. "
"We've been on it for ten to fifteen years. You should try it."
And I just got to this point where I realized, you know
I'm someone who's an advocate to suicide prevention, especially
in youth and I-I'm someone who's trying to abolish stigmas of mental illness..
and I pay a psychologist a lot of money to help me with my life
and I'm not listening to his-his advice, and I haven't been listening to this part of his advice
for several years!
So, it just all kind of clicked into place. Like okay,
this is something I should try. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't.
But it is a solution that I could potentially try.
Now I don't think everyone should go on medication
I, I just think if a licensed psychiatrist is telling me to go on medication for several years,
It's probably something I should try.
Right, right? Yeah.
It's probably something you should try..
There's nothing wrong with me going on antidepressants
there isn't.
I have a sibling who committed suicide, that means every member of my family is fifty percent
more likely to commit suicide.
And my physician had a really great explanation
or, way to address my fears, he was like look,"
My family suffers from allergies, if I don't take allergy medication
I am miserable.
Can I get over my allergies? No, that just the condition that I was born with."
He was like, "You have depression, that is in your genetics, you are prone to that.."
I know this is very like self congratulatory, but I feel very proud of myself.
That, you know, I'm-I'm taking a step towards my mental health
And whether or not that step actually does anything for my overall
quality of life, it is something that I didn't want to do
because of stereotypes about it, and because of fear and because of insecurity.
And, and what would people think if I'm on antidepressants?
And all this, like stupid, stupid shit.
You know, I don't wanna freak out about every little thing,
I, I know it doesn't seem like I do that based on
my wonderful articulation on the Internet but,
you know, some little thing goes wrong and I spiral into like this
emotional mess. Or if I read like one Facebook article about some sad bunny death,
like I just, I get into a zone and I get into a mood and I can't get out of it.
And I'm irritable on a daily basis,
my natural default mode is like very irritable and very sad and very despair,
and if going on medication is gonna give me a better quality of life..
And make me a funner person to be around, and make me happier..
I should just totally be okay with trying that because
that's absolutely what I want, and you know I've taken
all the steps...to get to where I want to be
except for medication.
So....this is just *funny voice* a chapter in the life of a journey,
*normal voice* I don't know..it feels so weird to make a video about it.
'Cause it's like, "Okay well like every- the title just says it all..
like I haven't gone on them yet *chuckles* I don't know any side effects,
I just *intelligible noise*. I'm just like," Hey, I took a step,
good- go me. Where's my- where's my Oscar? Where's my award?"
*silly noise*
I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham.