I can feel the city starting to seep into my bones.
I can feel it, you know?
It feels good.
Yeah, I'm starting to become more and more Atlanta,
even the way I say it.
When I got here, every time I said--
I'll say Atlanta.
I would say Atlanta.
I'm in Atlanta, Atlanta.
And then I started noticing, all of a sudden, I was like,
"Atlana," "Atlana."
[cheering]
The T was gone.
The T started fading away.
Yeah, by the time I leave, I'll just be like Lana, Lana, Lana.
Yeah, now I understand how mumble rap was invented here.
I get it.
You're just trying to shrink all the words.
[mumbling] Atlanta.
[mumbling] I get it now.
Oh, and we've had so much fun.
It has been so much fun.
We've eaten the food.
We've gone out.
We've seen the sights and the sounds.
Yesterday we went out as a whole group.
We went to Magic City, you know?
[cheering]
Oh.
Yeah, I will say, worst magicians ever.
[laughter]
Only thing that disappeared was my money.
[laughter]
And I will say, we came to Atlanta to have a good time,
and I have not been disappointed.
We have not been disappointed.
In fact, we've been lucky that we came when we came.
Because this has been a really momentous week in that freedom
has been achieved in Atlanta.
And I think you know what I'm talking about.
As of this week, the Atlanta zoo
has announced that people are once again allowed to bring
their guns when they visit.
And I was like, wow, you really don't mess around with Second
Amendment in this town, huh?
The whole South, even at the zoo, people are strapped.
Yeah, just packing their lunch, being like,
and bring the Glock.
You never know.
Just walking in like, yeah, now let's
see that parrot say something.
Say something!
(IMITATING PARROT) Say something.
Yeah, say something!
(IMITATING PARROT) Say something.
Yeah, that's right.
(IMITATING PARROT) That's right.
That's right.
(IMITATING PARROT) That's right.
Yeah, you're pretty cool, parrot.
And if you ignore all the terrible reasons, I mean,
having guns at the zoo is actually a really great idea,
you know?
Think about how many times you've been disappointed.
You go to the zoo, and what happens?
The animals are sleeping when you get there.
Not anymore.
You just walk up to that enclosure.
Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!
Aw, the panda's awake now.
Look at him.
Oh, look at him running for cover.
You know, the only way you could get more exciting
is if they said, it's not just the people, right?
They should go all the way.
They should give the animals guns too.
I think that's what we should do, right?
I mean, they're the ones who are going to be there.
It's only fair to them.
Give them guns as well.
See what happens.
Huh?
It's going to be exciting.
Every single exhibit is going to turn
into a Mexican standoff.
Those people walking in like, honey, honey, honey,
keep the kids behind me.
Keep the kids behind-- stay cool.
Stay cool.
Penguins, stay cool.
Hey, hey, sloths, no sudden moves, no sudden moves.
Snakes, let me see those hands!
All right, nobody needs to go extinct today.
[explosion]
[cheering]
Atlanta!
Now-- now, look, obviously-- obviously,
other than the armed animals, the reason we're here
and the reason we're excited to be here
is because the midterms are around the corner.
Right?
With everybody focusing on Georgia,
five days away, and your races are coming down to the wire.
Can I tell you?
All right?
Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock,
neck and neck, which is wild.
Means that something happens, Herschel Walker could
be elected Senator next week.
[booing]
Yeah, I mean, I also hope it doesn't happen.
I mean, that would be crazy.
Herschel Walker as a Senator, can you imagine how that would
mesh with the whole Capitol?
Take your child to work day is going to feel
like another insurrection.
[laughter]
People are just going to be like,
they're storming the Capitol! Oh, no, wait.
Wait. It's Herschel Walker's kids.
It's all of his kids.
He's like, (IMITATING WALKER) allegedly my kids.
[laughter]
You know, this whole midterm campaign
has gotten so extreme.
It almost feels like Republicans are running
a political science experiment just
to see how crazy a candidate can be and still
get people to vote for them.
It almost feels like that.
[applause]
What can they do before people say,
no, I wouldn't vote for them?
It's almost like Mitch McConnell is just
in the lab, just working away like, (IMITATING MCCONNELL)
all right, they voted for Herschel Walker.
Let's try a bag of wet spaghetti next.
Rah.
See if they go for that.
And I don't know if you've seen this,
but Herschel Walker has gone from beefing with reality
to beefing with Barack Obama.
I don't know if you've seen this.
Yeah, they've got a thing going back
because, obviously, Obama roasted him in Georgia, right,
over the weekend.
And then Walking shot back.
He shot back that he could quote, "put his résumé
up against Obama's any time."
[laughter]
First of all, it wouldn't even matter if Walker's résumé was
more impressive than Obama's because Obama's has
a line in his résumé that says, not crazy.
That carries a lot of weight in a job interview.
But, also, Obama was president!
People, he was president for two terms.
Herschel Walker can't even carry any of his pregnancies
to two terms.
What are you talking about?
[cheering]
Are you serious right now?
I'm kidding.
His résumé is impressive.
I mean, any résumé is impressive when
you can just make it up, right? (IMITATING
WALKER) I was a cop.
I was an FBI agent, a ballerina.
I discovered nitrogen. I also am nitrogen.
The list goes on and on.
But, yeah, Barack Obama is back on the campaign trail.
He's back out there, trying to get people whipped up,
trying to get the people voting.
All right?
He's hitting all the swing states around the country.
And last night-- last night, both Obama and President Biden
made big speeches about how there is a lot more at stake
in this election than which party
gets to use the good bathroom at the Senate.
Folks can win if we don't do our part.
And if you've got an election denier
serving as your governor, as your Senator,
as your Secretary of State, as your attorney general,
then democracy as we know it may not survive in Arizona.
That's not an exaggeration.
That is a fact.
This year, I hope you'll make the future of our democracy
an important part of your decision to vote
and how you vote.
In our bones, we know democracy at risk-- is at risk.
[laughter]
What?
I heard what he said though.
He said, in our bones, we know democracy--
that means we're screwed.
Yeah, whenever an old person feels
something in their bones, it means a storm's a coming.
[cheering]
I feel it in my bones.
It's either that or osteoporosis,
but I think it's a storm.
By the way, I love seeing Biden and Obama both doing
speeches back to back.
No, because sometimes you think that you're imagining it.
You're like, Obama had more energy,
and then when you see it, you're like,
no, they have very different energies that they bring.
It's almost like seeing a before and after of a NyQuil
commercial, you know?
[laughter]
Yeah, and I'm not saying that, like,
either one is better or worse.
It's like a level of excitement.
Basically, Obama is the Beyoncé concert,
and then, like, Biden is the traffic on the way home.
Do you know what I mean?
[laughter]
That's what it feels like.
Actually, you know what?
Actually, Obama is like me, right, before every dinner
I had in Atlanta this week.
And then Biden is like me after every dinner
I had in Atlanta this week.
Yeah, I would walk into Busy Bee, and I'd be like,
let's do this.
I'm going to dominate this fried chicken plate.
And then after, I'd be like, I do not
feel confident about the future of my stomach.
I can feel it in my bones.
[laughter]
But, look, however they're saying it--
however they're saying it, Obama
and Biden are making the same point, and it's a salient one.
This election is about whether America wants
to continue being a democracy.
All right?
And that's actually a tough sell, believe it or not.
It really is.
Because, ironically, democracy isn't what's on people's minds
right now, right?
People are paying more for groceries.
They're paying more for gas, right?
And Democrats are going, yeah, we know
that sucks, but democracy.
And voters are like, can I eat democracy?
Can I fill my tank with democracy?
It's a challenge. It really is.
And it's a challenge because if you think about it, humans,
we didn't evolve like this, right?
Humans didn't evolve to think long term, right?
If you think about it, we're designed
to put long-term problems over immediate problems.
That's just how we are.
The caveman was worried about the saber-tooth tiger,
was worried about surviving.
That guy survived.
Saber-tooth tiger, survived.
The caveman who was sitting in the cave
like, hmm, I wonder how we could
make our hunting practices more sustainable,
that guy died, right?
He was right, but he died.
And this is one of the flaws of democracy.
It's a weird flaw when you consider it, right?
It's not just the fact that it can fall at any time,
but it's also the fact that the people who are antidemocracy
can use democracy to get into power, and then end democracy.
And if you want to see a silly example of how
unpredictable voting can be, look
at what happened when people got
to vote on what their election sticker should look like.
A sticker design contest that went viral this year
is making good on its promise to an Ulster County teen.
A few months ago, the county's I voted sticker
contest made headlines.
All great designs, but one just happened to get
some national attention.
REPORTER 1: Hudson Rowan's design--
you can see it right there--
REPORTER 2: Oh my gosh.
REPORTER 1: --came away with more than 90% of the vote.
Man, that is crazy looking.
REPORTER 2: That's awesome.
REPORTER 1: Officially becoming the county's new I
voted sticker for the 2022 November election.
See?
[applause]
See?
That's what can happen.
And, I mean, I do love this.
Don't get me wrong.
I've always wanted to see Rudy Giuliani's baby pictures.
But-- but this is what can happen.
And you heard what they said.
You heard what they said.
This sticker got 90% of the vote.
You realize there's no politician who gets
that kind of support, right?
But, you know, this competition got me thinking.
People go so crazy over these stickers
that, in fact, I think we should use that, you know?
What we should do is we should use that energy.
There's so many people who only vote for the sticker.
I know some people who are like, oh, I can't wait to vote
so I can get the sticker.
Like, what about the election?
Ah, I just want that sticker.
[laughter]
Maybe we should use that enthusiasm
to save that democracy, right?
You can use it to save democracy.
In addition to an I voted sticker, from now on,
they should also have an I accept the results
of the election sticker. Yeah?
That way--
[cheering]
That way, the day after the election,
when somebody is like, you know,
the vote was stolen by robot pedophiles, you'll be like,
[shouts] you want this sticker?
And be like, oh, Mike Pence is lucky I like
stickers more than his neck.
I'll take it.