I decided to own my a DD when I was
struggling to get my GRE done I wanted
to pass it I wanted to be able to pursue
higher education degrees and I could not
pass the GRE the first time I tried to
take the GRE which was a reflection of
my SAT experience was when I shut down I
would just go to sleep during the SAT I
couldn't function and I pretty much
bombed that
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and so I said okay I'm gonna put all of
my heart and soul into this I'm gonna
study my heart out and then I couldn't
finish the test I had like 18 questions
left on the math section and at 26 I
went got a neuro psych eval and the
moment the a DD test came out and or you
know the questionnaire and she said she
asked me all these questions like yes
yes yes these are all issues for me that
was the moment I turned to everyone else
and I said listen I finally have a name
for the things that I've been struggling
with and I'm happy to talk to anyone and
everyone about it because no one should
go it alone midway through my career I
started to doubt what I'd learned back
in grad school that girls don't get ADHD
it's anxiety or conduct problems or some
sort of moral failing girls really don't
get this condition it's ten to one
twenty to one it's been only in the last
several decades that people have said
there's probably really not 20 boys to
every girl with ADHD there are more boys
than girls but not with this
preponderance that we thought ADHD is
real that is a neural biologic disorder
what that means is that it's really the
areas of the brain that are controlling
attention concentration distractibility
that aren't working in the individuals
who have this disorder
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what is it like to be a woman with ADHD
that's a very very broad question
because ADHD impacts absolutely every
aspect of our lives what are some of the
biggest challenges time management and
just organizing my day like I'm I want
to do a thousand things during the day
and I can only get so much done and I
have to work that much harder to get it
done just you know getting getting
places on time to is this is hard and it
impacts your social relationships too
with people they're like why did you why
did you come late again and again and
sometimes you can lose jobs I'm it's
hard to even talk about look I've been
fired from several jobs just so much
shame he had so much shame
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living with the disorder helped me focus
on the disorder more helped me
understand when I saw these girls and
women in my practice that yes this is
going on and no one's paying attention
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but most people are they're like oh no
way you couldn't have this you know like
you don't do these things like Oh Mary
you're fine like actually no I'm right
now you know I was in elementary school
like in 1982 83 84 nobody talked about
ADHD especially for girls women kind of
fly under the radar because we don't
always anyway manifest the age part
anyone who doesn't look like the
stereotypical kid with a DD ADHD
throwing spitballs in class running
around in circles I'm like I didn't look
like any of those things
I was super bored in class I didn't have
friends I just wanted to read I was
always flying out the window doing
anything but this moment and yet
hyperactive physically active boys would
be the first thing to be noticed and I
feel like we can continue to be
invisible eyes we can be erased all the
time
who gets noticed as having ADHD the
quiet kid in the back of the classroom
who can't focus
but isn't disrupting anybody the teacher
breathes a sigh of relief what about the
impulsive active fidgety often boy who's
making learning pretty tough for
everybody so this is what we call
referral bias you get referred if you're
noticeable
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this is now the largest study in the
world of girls with ADHD over time and
we've learned a tremendous amount
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ah
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I had fewer friends when I was younger I
mean I struggled with my weight I
struggled with depression just picked
last girls with ADHD have particular
problems that boys don't have for
example girls with ADHD from our own
research appear to be more likely to be
rejected by their girl peers than boys
with ADHD I've gotten in fights with my
friends because I just acted out and I
got in a fight like I've lost friends
because of it
College I'm amazed that I finished
college because it was so bad it's
brutal
it's very brutal and yeah it caused me a
lot of like anxiety and depression
growing up the big risk for girls with
ADHD that I think our research team was
one of the first to uncover in detail is
that by middle and late adolescence with
the social rejection with a continued
impulsivity with the tendency both to
get depressed about your life and to
still act out against norms the risk for
cutting self-mutilation and even suicide
attempts is is tragically high
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we found these shocking statistics
nearly one girl in four by 19 or 20 with
early ADHD had made a serious attempt on
her life and over half were engaging in
moderate to severe forms of self-injury
cutting and burning oneself what
percentage of our comparison group had
had an unplanned pregnancy 10% what
percentage of our girls with ADHD 45%
four and a half times the risk so we're
focusing on some of the really difficult
findings but ADHD ups the risk for
difficult outcomes but it is not
inevitable
so being diagnosed in my late 40s just
like it's not like one light bulb it's
like a whole like set of floodlights
really like I see and so then you add in
the right medication I was like my brain
is really slow and steady and I can pay
attention brains are like I think that
finding out on my own has really helped
a lot of things in my life a lot of my
friends still think I'm very organized
and everything and I'm thinking of they
only knew you know but um I'm not as
overwhelmed as I was
this is a very hopeful disorder in that
once it's diagnosed we know there are
lots of things we can do to help you
it's extremely extremely therapeutic for
people but especially I find for females
to have a place to come in a group
setting where they feel understood where
they can learn from each other as well
as from the professionals facilitating
the group how to work with their ADHD if
you had just one piece of wisdom to
offer to a girl that's maybe just
starting to learn that she might have a
Dede what kind of advice would you give
like don't be afraid to tell people
because it's not something you should be
like ashamed of so for me I'm medicated
um and it's a blessing I love my
medicine we think that treating kids
with ADHD from early ages is going to be
preventive we find the best results
consistently when the right medicines
are paired with the behavioral or family
or school or cognitive behavioral
treatments so that you get symptom
reduction and the building of competence
one program doesn't fit all we need to
tailor these programs to where our
patients are what their primary target
symptoms or target problems are right
now and then work with them as they move
along and as they move on my goal is to
really take responsibility for the
challenges that I have like as if as if
I had a wheelchair so I have to make
sure there's ramps I have to make sure
there's someone who can help me and so
you may not see that but I've set up all
these things in place and that's the
freedom it gives like oh maybe I can do
some of these things I didn't think I
could do because I know put those ramps
up that helped me get off the stairs
many of our girls with ADHD have
overcome a lot of their symptoms many of
them are doing well in relationships and
on the job we're scouring our data now
it will look at the factors that predict
resilience as long as you figure out
your system for how to function in the
job that you have or to do what you love
you'll be able to offer everything you
have to the world but if you don't
figure out your system and you try other
people's systems and it doesn't work for
you but you keep trying it that's not
going to work you have to figure out
what works for you
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you