Hey guys.
I'm Tracy.
And I'm Andy.
And I cannot believe we are five episodes into this season.
Oh, we had Hannah here.
We had Hannah here, and now we have to--
and now I wish we would had her here--
It's hard.
It's hard, right?
--because I have so many questions I want to ask her.
Right.
But you know who I do want to ask questions to?
Our good friend.
Corey Palent.
OK.
So this episode picked up right where the last episode ended--
To be continued.
- Which was with our Luke P., Luke S. drama.
I just gotta say, I am so tired of the Luke drama.
I cannot handle it anymore.
It's like they are stretching and stretching.
And he always has--
it's a combination of a look of confusion--
Yes.
--mixed with hatred for anyone that's talking to him.
Yeah.
It's like a cockiness.
Yeah, cockiness but also--
Arrogance.
He's got an arrogance about him.
This whole episode I felt was 50-50 split between Hannah
being really annoyed at everybody, or really turned on.
Oh my god.
Because it was--
Wait--
There's a lot of video of it.
Lots of legs.
Yeah.
We have to get to that.
I know, I'm sorry.
It was a very erotic episode, everyone.
It really was.
Lots of making out.
OK, but Hannah gets up and leaves that conversation,
and then, right before the rose ceremony's about to start,
as if we haven't had enough--
I know.
--Lucas is like, Hannah can I talk to you for a second?
I literally was about to bang my head against wall.
I was like, no.
Just say no.
She was like this, too.
She was like, uh, OK.
By the way, everyone-- and comment
below to tell me if you think that the word "sure" is
incredibly passive aggressive.
Yeah, she was like, sure.
She goes, sure.
But then he ends up, essentially,
which was never really made clear
until he walked away, sending himself home.
He's just like, watch out.
Keep your eyes open--
And then just walks away.
And then he just walked away.
Into the night.
It was like, oh, I guess he went home.
So we can cross off Lucas, because he walked himself out.
Matteo, which like, he never really had a chance, did he?
Matteo.
And then it came down to John Paul Jones and Luke P.,
and as bad as I wanted it with all my might
for her to give it to John Paul Jones, sadly he did not get it.
And so then she's like, well guess
what, we're getting out of to Rhode Island
and going to Scotland.
I was excited by that.
Yeah.
I was excited until they started making Luke Ness--
what was it, Luke Ness--
Luke Ness Monster.
--Luke Ness Monster references.
And then I was like, ah.
And it kept coming up and he said it four times.
It's going to come up during the men tell all
and it's going to be a whole thing.
Luke Ness.
But anyway.
We've gotten so jaded so quickly.
I know.
OK, so we get our first one-on-one in Scotland,
and it is Mike.
Oh, my Mike.
Have you ever seen anyone so happy to get a date?
He couldn't stop smiling.
I love Mike so much.
He's very endearing.
He's so nice and handsome and--
And smiley.
--and just seems like a--
Happy, good spirited person.
Yeah, he's like a big teddy bear,
but he also seems like someone who you don't mess with.
He just seemed like he'd probably be fun to be with,
and it looked like they had fun.
They kind of just wandered around.
Oh, the best part of this date.
They tried whiskey and she gets hammered.
Oh she's wasted.
She likes it.
It was so funny.
I love it.
All the date is like, very fun.
Lots of smiles from Mike.
He's very giddy.
He opens up and he says, saying the words
"I love you" to somebody--
It took him two years to say "I love you."
--means a lot to him, and he said it to this one woman
and then they broke up and it broke his heart.
I think there is a great friendship there.
I don't necessarily think that there is--
Friendship is exactly what it is.
--a romantic relationship between those two.
I agree.
So he is still in the running to me for Bachelor.
Me too.
I don't know if he takes it, but if he ends up
being the Bachelor, I would be that's A-OK with it.
So then we go to the group date, which is the Highland Games.
Oh, I enjoyed this one.
Like Braveheart.
Bring out the accents.
I wanted to throw an axe so bad.
They didn't seem too good.
No, they seemed terrible at it.
But they do like, the axe throwing, then
they did the milk races.
Oh yeah, the classic milk race.
Of course, everyone knows the milk race.
I just kept thinking, like, what a waste of milk.
There was so much delicious milk.
And then they do the wrestling, and then--
So much delicious milk just got wasted.
Well, it just was like, I guess they have a lot of it
with all their cows--
What a travesty.
--and sheep and whatever.
Oh, that poor milk.
They change into their kilts, which was great.
No underwear.
And they all took off their underwear.
That's what you've got to do when you were a kilt. Everybody
knows that.
Do you not?
I've never worn a kilt. Do you take off
underwear when you wear a kilt?
Yeah, you gotta.
I was pleasantly surprised by all the nuts.
Comment below if you wear kilts.
Do you always take off the underwear?
OK, so they do their Highland Games, whatever.
And at--
Run the milk.
--one point, Jed pours another waste of milk all over.
Himself
How bad is he going to stink?
Oh.
Especially because it was like, goat milk,
it looked like it was smelly.
And there was a lot of butts and nuts
showing, but the point is--
She just kind of ices right over that.
But then the point is--
Can we say that?
Butts and nuts?
Butts and nuts showing.
Is that going to be your autobiography?
She's going to get a box, just like the butts and nuts--
Butts and Nuts, the Corey Palant Story.
Butts and Nuts.
OK, so Jed wins, and then they go to the group date cocktail
party.
But this is where you could tell Hannah was just
ready to get some.
Those kilts got her turned on.
Yeah.
She was raring to go.
Yeah.
First she talked to Jedd and she gave him this piece of land
that was like, one square foot.
But then, aw, sweet Peter took her to the pool table.
He was trying to be sexy.
It was like, the biggest pool table I've ever
seen in my entire life.
With the lowest--
With the lowest light.
--ceiling.
And then he's like, let me try something,
and then he picks her up--
Awkwardly puts--
--and bangs her head on the light.
Excuse me, sorry.
And then he asks to do it again.
And then he says, I've never done this before.
He still feels a little out of his league to me.
Yes.
Oh my god, are you kidding?
That's like the greatest thing that's ever happened to him.
I know.
He's like--
Go read his interview.
He's like, can you believe this?
He's like a kid in a candy store.
I had to put her on a pool table.
So then she brings in Tyler.
Sweet faced Tyler.
Oh boy.
He now could be the front runner.
She's like, I have something for you.
And he's like, you have something for me?
And then she's like, yeah, this bed.
It's right here, too.
Wait, I stopped it and I had to rewind the episode
by a couple of seconds because I thought he missed the gift.
I swear, I was like--
I got something for you.
Yeah, I know.
That.
A straddle?
Another straddle?
I was like, OK.
You know, not every gift can be wrapped.
OK, so all the guys were like, this date
was so great because no Luke P. And so then
she's ready for her Luke P. Date.
The date card wasn't particularly romantic.
It was like, we're going to figure it
out one way or another.
It was very ominous.
Yeah.
He was like oh my god.
Like, he was also just--
I wonder what this means?
--misreading all the signals.
All of them.
They go to this castle and have a picnic.
This poor castle, by the way, I kept thinking.
We never saw it.
All you saw was the edge of the cliff, where at one point
I thought maybe she was going to--
She wanted to.
Like, push him off.
--throw him off of it.
She basically says to him, like, I just
feel like I see a part of you that the other guys aren't
seeing.
I don't understand why they don't like you.
Tell me how you feel.
And he's like, I just want to give you clarity.
The best part of that whole scene,
though, was when she had to go to the producers and be like--
Oh, I loved it.
--can you talk to him?
And they were like, not it.
Dude, how about when he was like, normally people love me.
Oh.
Oh, I couldn't handle that.
And she was like, no.
But then when they got to dinner,
Hannah tells him, like, this has been a bad date.
If you think that this is going well, you're wrong.
And you could tell he was like, oh, this wasn't good?
I was thinking like, did he leave
thinking he did well and now he's just shocked by how
he's being portrayed?
But he couldn't be, because Hannah's directly
addressing him, all the guys hate him,
it's all about like-- sometimes I feel like a villain leaves
the show and they're like, shocked
at how they're being portrayed.
He has no friends.
I think he's been rocking this false sense of confidence
the whole time because of the first impression rose.
I'm worried because Hannah basically
says in her speech about the rose,
she's like, I can't give you this rose.
But then it weirdly cuts off and a to be continued--
Another great to be continued.
--so I have a fear that she's going to say,
I can't give you this rose like I normally would--
Right now.
--but maybe let's go have another drink and then--
Oh he gets the rose.
You think he's going to get it?
Because we see him again later.
They make it seem like he doesn't get the rose
and that there's a moment of, he's not really gone,
and I think he just gets the rose.
OK.
But we have to talk about the tease
because it was very juicy.
Lots of tears, lots of drama, and Luke P. again.
So this one, Hannah was very upset.
Almost seems like-- she doesn't like, quit the show--
It was Garrett, right?
Yeah, it was Garrett.
It seemed like--
What, I made a mistake?
Who, by the way--
Yeah, what do we think Garrett did?
I don't know, but by the way, on this episode,
I was thinking about how you said you really liked him.
Yeah.
He's so cute.
He's really handsome.
Yeah Garrett.
I'm definitely excited to see what happens next,
and I just hope, hope, hope that Luke P. is either not
getting a rose or we are done with him next episode.
I want Luke P. gone.
I want him gone.
He's all the drama, but I think I want him gone.
Maybe one more episode.
Maybe one more.
A big thanks to you guys for watching.
And tune in next week for our other recap.
Comment below to tell us what you think.
And you can buy Butts and Nuts, available at Barnes & Noble.
Corey's autobiography.
I got it.