What's up guys, hope you're doing well and welcome to Talking to Myself, a talk show,
where I talk to myself.
Today, we're talking about online dating.
The only dating you'll ever do.
Returning to the show we have Da'Quann.
You already know what it is.
South side hold it down.
East side, west side, northeast south side.
We also have Lay-Lay.
It is such a great pleasure to be here today.
And last but not least, how could we forget the lovely Scootera.
Thank you for having me.
You need to be having a breath mint...breath smelling like moist garbage.
A wise person once said, the haters are going to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate...
I know you ain't quoting Taylor Swift.
I love Taylor Swift.
I'm just going to shake...
Breath smelling like the Great Depression.
Just think, while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty
cheats of the world, you could’ve been getting down to this sick beat.
Ok, that was a little bit unexpected.
Yeah, like when your moms had you.
Really Da'Quann?
Ok, we're going to do this right now?
First of all I was planned I think, not that you would even know about that.
Yeah I would.
How?
Kanye West...how?
Cause I'm your daddy.
Oh.
You being anyone's father is a scary thought.
You see what I have to deal with.
You being naked is even scarier.
Alright you guys, you know what...let's just go to the first question.
Lay-Lay do they have online dating in your country?
I do not understand.
Online dating is just like regular dating except you search for your partner using the
web.
How big is this web?
Because if we are searching for people in it it must be a big web.
And what of the spider that made this web?
I hate spiders!
Must we defeat it...because that is how I lost my third foot.
No, it's not a literal web.
It's the World Wide Web.
There is a World Wide Web?
This is what the ancestors warned about.
No, he means like the Internet.
So like, Internet dating.
Why did you not say this?
I thought I did.
You got Internet in your country.
Yes of course.
We have free wi-fi as well.
That is how I found my first 3 wives.
Somehow I still feel like we're not talking about the same thing.
Why don't we go to our next question.
Da'Quann, do you really think an online dating site is necessary for you?
Cause I'm sure you get all the ladies.
Aww man...you already know I got more ladies on deck than a cruise ship to Chipotle.
Can you even swim?
I love Chipotle.
But like I was saying, anything to implement my amount of women is good and beneficial.
I'm pretty sure what you meant to say was supplement or augment.
That's what I said.
No you didn't.
Yeah, and good and beneficial mean like the same thing.
So you're just being repugnant.
Scootera, I think you meant to say redundant.
Although, technically that could still work.
That's not what D said.
Who's D?
Deez Nuts!
Ahhhh!
Wow!!!
You're so disgusting Da'Quann!
Really Da'Quann!
I love Deez Nuts they are the best kind to eat.
Uhh...I'm not sure what you meant to say there.
Maybe something was lost in translation.
I say I love Deez Nuts, you must try them sometime.
Nahh, I'm good.
I'm good.
I got my own two.
What do they taste like?
They taste like...
Why don't we move on to the next question.
My question is for everyone and the question is have you ever been catfished while on online
dating?
I love catfish.
Oh no, it's not that type of catfish.
I do not understand.
When someone pretends to be someone they're not in online dating they're said to be a
catfish.
Say you thought you were talking to this pretty little white girl, then it turns out to be
a 57-year-old black man...you just got catfished.
I will never get catfished.
Never again!
Man that's alright.
Little Scoot-Scoot gets catfished all the time.
Ok, no I don't, first of all, and second off, I told you not to call me Scoot-Scoot anymore.
U mad?
Yeah, that's why I don't really like online dating that much.
I just think it's weird.
I like meeting people in normal places.
Like where?
It's just like, I just feel like if you're using an app for dating...like you must be
really desperate.
Your elbows are desperate for some lotion.
Like, if you can't get anyone IRL
How your elbows look like Iggy Azalea.
I-g-g-y
...you have to resort to using online dating.
You know I've actually heard that before.
That's an interesting perspective, but I think online dating is the future.
There is no dating in your future.
Whatchu mean.
But like you said, what if they turn out to be a 57-year-old black man...
Never again!
...or even worse, what if they turn out to be fat?
Fat people need love to.
That's what Skype's for.
What is this Skype you speak of?
It's an online video chatting program.
Looking like Chewbacca.
Says the broke little boy.
If Chewbacca gained 17 pounds he would look just like you.
I do not understand.
I have one question for you...what are those?
These are Jordans.
These are Jordans!
Maybe Marcus Jordans.
Oh!
That was a burn.
You lucky I'm on parole.
Whatever!
I'm tired of you Da'Quann.
Ok, everyone just relax and just calm down.
Ok?
Let's just go to the talk question.
Da'Quann, would you ever use FarmersMeet.com?
Ayy, like I had previously stated, anything that increments and augmentates my amount
of women is good and helpful to me.
Stop repeating yourself.
You're so repugnant.
You're moms is repugnant.
When do we battle this spider?
Get your money up...go buy some actual Jordans.
Well, that's all we have for this week.
Let's talk about hygiene.
Make sure to follow me on Twitter and Snapchat @ScooterMagruder for a chance to be featured
in the next video and leave a comment down below.
What should we talk about next?
As always, new videos every Sunday.
No Jugamos Juegos.
Throw me the alley.
I'm a grown man.